Isn't it always the same? (Valley of the Kings edition)

You wait and wait for Egyptologists to discover concealed burial chambers that have remained undetected and undisturbed for millennia, and then two come along at once.

The race for funds and headlines can be ascribed to competition between the two groups. Archeologists are always locked in deadly rivalry; it must be a tradition, or an old charter or something.

One can only hope that in their haste they do not cut corners and neglect elementary precautions. One does not want to release the revivified mummy of a nameless, cursèd renegade and malefactor. Or to disturb the Four Elements in the absence of the Fifth Element that is necessary to unify their energies. Or to stumble down a concealed shaft and enter a nightmare underground warren of tunnels and caverns and monstrous undead hybrids.

The "thermal anomalies in the Khufu Pyramid" story from Tayoubi's team  is calculated to inspire religious loons to yank the anomalous blocks from the base of the pyramid (in the hope of discovering Joseph's granary and vindicating Ben Carson); then the whole stack of stones will come cascading down on them like a supermarket tower of tins in a Mr Bean episode. One can only hope that the authorities have numbered all the blocks for ease of reassembly afterwards. The 'thermal image' is in fact a clumsy fake plagiarising the work of Hergé.

Meanwhile the National Geographic team interpret the results of Watanabe's radar probe as showing that the tomb of Tutankhamun is in fact only the hastily-repurposed antechamber of a larger, sealed-off tomb. In accordance with THE PROPHECY moar infra-red scans, and Reeve's iconographic theory.

There is some wet-blanket skepticism towards the expectation of discovering the mummy of Pharaohess Nefertiti, if only because an existing mummy has already been identified as hers, several times, though it could have been her mummy when she was younger.

Nefertiti scanning equipment

At last night's meet of the Amateur Egyptology and Comic Songs Working Group at the Old Entomologist, members voted in support of Joann Fletcher's "Younger-Lady Mummy = Nefertiti" theory. Mainly because the one-sided eye make-up on the Amarna bust of Nefertiti (in the Bodemuseum) shows that she had received right-hemisphere brain damage at some point, causing left hemi-neglect [below, left, neglected]; and this is also evident when she was mummified.

Our arguments did not entirely convince head barmaid Evangeline van Holsterin, who vouchsafed her assessment that the working-group members were "both loonies".

The Rule of Three dictates the existence of a third secret-chamber quest. Lo, so it came about, with Dormion and Verd'hurt's claim to have detected a cavity in the Khufu pyramid, centred on the vertical axis but lying below the Queen's Gallery. Their quest is currently in a Beyoncé but this would be an opportune time to revive it.

Athanasius Kircher did not hold with any of this 'entombment' nonsense and maintained that the Pyramids were the original 'ships of the desert', built to float upon and sail across the seas of sand, hence the bow-wave shown below.