The Persecution and Assassination of Antonin Scalia as Performed by the Ninja Monks of the Ghibelline Abbey of Marfa Under the Direction of Peter Greenaway and the scriptwriters of 'Hannibal'

Here at the Riddled Research Institute and Liquorice All-Sorts Abuse Hotline, we have been apprised of reactions to the recent demise of an American jurist and reminder of Reaganite criminality.

(a) Literal hagiography, with calls for his immediate beatification and sanctification by the Catholic Church, in honour of his yeoman work in smuggling theocratic tenets into the US legislative framework. This strikes me as a case of Saying the Quiet Part Loud. It is not immediately clear which organs of Saint Scalia should be harvested as Holy Relics to memorialise his martyrdom but I am guessing "liver and stomach". Heaven knows how the usual suspects are going to top that when it's Dick Cheney's turn to shuffle off his mortal coil (or to remove it in a prolonged ecdysiatic bunp-and-grind routine as the case may be).

Mortal coil (pre-shuffling)

Also:

(b) Assertions that the death could not have been natural. Because obese cigar-smoking octogenarians never die naturally after a hard day of slaughtering small birds for entertainment. More importantly, there is not enough drama on the Interlattice, and the Paranoid Tendentists* are bored already with the "Dead Alt-Med Quacks were bumped off by Pharma wet teams" routine.


Once again, Life -- and the imaginations of the conspiracy theorists -- fails to meet the promise of Jacobean Revenge Tragedy, leaving Pupienus Imperator, OBS and others struggling to invent their own suitably grotesque, obscene methods of execution. Contrary to certain lurid allegations, the Riddled time-machine was in no way involved in Justice Scalia's demise. We are not allowed to drop the time machine onto people from a height**; this was covered in the Ethics Training. More decisively, the on-board chrononautical guidance computer never misses an opportunity to go all "I can't let you do that, Dave".

Scalia's family asked for no autopsy, but it's never too late for Jeb Bush to over-rule their preferences.
Perhaps Dr Frist will weigh in with a tele-diagnosis.

Gom jabbar poison not ruled out 

* That is so totally a word, Spellcheck.

** Not unless there are ruby slippers involved, and a gathering of Munchkins poised to burst into song, in accordance with the narrative conventions.
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UPDATED with Bonus Cadaver Synod for J- in comments: