Crowds of Witless

"Whatever became of the private investigation into the death of Jeff Bradstreet under suspicious circumstances?" That is a question we hear after each screening of a Columbo episode, in the course of Rumpled-Raincoat Fashion Week at the Old Entomologist. Though personally I visualise the inevitable Hollywood dramatisation of this investigation as more in the style of Film Noir, and it is difficult to imagine anyone but Humphrey Bogart in the role.

"I don't mind circumstances being suspicious," Another Kiwi vouchsafed. "Even when they start 'Just Asking Questions'. But when circumstances emerge from the Truther closet to explain their closely-argued theories about chemtrails and 9/11, it is time to remember an urgent appointment somewhere else."

Readers will recall that Bradstreet was a broad-spectrum, multi-therapy autism-cure conman; also that his decision to vent his spleen ventilate his ribcage sent the Alt-Med scammosphere into a paroxysm of hyperventilating histrionics. Convinced, they were, that Bradstreet knew too much and was murdered to suppress the truth -- just the first of a great culling of quacks. Pish-posh, we were, here at the Riddled Amateur Dramatic Society.

For among the many things one learns from staging adaptations of Lord Peter Wimsey detection novels, is that when cads and bounders shoot themselves to escape exposure and disgrace, they do not necessarily aim for the head... Captain Cathcart aimed for his heart instead (with less-than-perfect marksmanship) (D. Sayers, 1927). Thus discounting a key component of the paranoid ideation.

Nevertheless, Bradstreet's brother and sister-in-law hired PIs

To find the answers to the many questions leading up to the death of Dr Bradstreet, including an exhaustive investigation into the possibility of foul play. Thank you for your support! 

They resorted to crowd-sourcing, for fedoras and trenchcoats and rye whiskey do not come cheap.

The progress reports to donors struggle to maintain the atmosphere of breathless anticipation.

Eight months ago:

UPDATE 07/29/2015
This is a very complicated investigation involving many people and multiple states.
Unfortunately we are not able to share any of the specifics of this case until we have all the information processed and investigated. There is a ton of information we have collected and the investigation team is still conducting interviews. Our team is following up on ALL the leads.

Six months ago:

Major things are happening with the investigation. Unfortunately we have been advised not to talk about them or share any information. I hope everyone can understand this...

Five months ago:

UPDATE : We are still working on Jeff's case. There has been a lot of very interesting developments as we are working with a very well known forensic scientist/detective.
Please continue to pray for truth to be revealed and that very soon the Bradstreet family can have closure in this terrible tragedy.

Please send more money.

Now we find that sister-in-law Candice Lee-Bradstreet has boarded the GcMAF wagon herself. This is a recent development: her "Reactivatedwellness" domain was only registered in October, and was listed as a US distributor of MAFactive massage cream and toothpaste some time between September and December 2015. Previously she had restricted her on-line activities to spruiking gluten-free energy bars, and involvement in the inevitable health-food pyramid scheme. It is not clear whether she was inspired by Bradstreet's expiry to contact Lesley Hutchings of MAFactive (and Amanda Jewell, also prominent in the GcMAF industry); or whether they reached out to her through mutual friends in the Truther community, impressed by her initiative and ingenuity, to offer condolences and business collaboration. Either way, what could be a more fitting way of commemorating Jeff's grifting career?

...So this is as good an excuse as any to check on the various entrepreneurs of the magic all-curative protein.

1. The House of Nostrums, a.k.a. Casa Nostra... our very own NZ Immuno Biotech Ltd. This is the centre of a network of GcMAF-prescribing cancer-curing naturopaths and Steinerian stethoscope cos-players. But OH NOES the team are closing the door of the clinic, or tai-chi studio as the case may be, and are shifting operations to Vanuatu. Never to inspire another fund-raising appeal that would allow them to treat the desperate and dying.

Lured to Vanuatu, perhaps, by the more research-friendly regulatory environment there. Also lured by Neptune's bounty... for the carcinofugic* compounds favoured within this network include sea-cucumber squeezings,and the central impresario of the Pacific-Island holothurian-squeezing industry is the same Sam Grant who will run "clinical trials" there. Paging Milan Brych, the time is right for your come-back!

But despite the departure of the clinical wing, we are assured that the supply wing of Casa Nostra will continue to purvey, so do not fear. That is to say, rerum.biz, stockists of the finest GcMAF, Colostrum-MAF, and Rerum (successor to GcMAF and GOleic, more powerful than either). It may be that 40 St Benedicts St is simply providing a convenient off-shore e-shopfront for purchasing products that are then shipped to worldwide customers from a warehouse elsewhere, but I like to think that they are physically housing all those 3-ml phials of Rerum in their spacious palatial Tai Chi studio for re-export to final destinations. Or even mixing the condroitin, oleic acid and vitamin D themselves, succussing each phial to ensure nano-level molecular bonding.

At the same time, the therapeutic claims for Rerum have dwindled, from curing cancer and autism and Lyme disease and HIV, to re-elasticising skin and turning one into a stock photograph.

Ladies: be very wary of any woman who insists that “it’s very good for the skin”. If a man says it, be even more wary.

2. It is not clear why one "Ben Porter" set up a sprawling eco-system of domains and websites, occupying a server in Panama but registered in São Tomé and Príncipe. Conceivably, whatever agency administers the Interduct in STP is conplaisant about false identities. But it is equally plausible that the domains were originally registered some distance to the North-East, in a different Gulf-of-Guinea island state, Fernando Poo -- in a better-regulated and funnier time-line, in which Fernando Poo is independent (rather than a province of Equatorial Guinea) -- before leaking through to this reality.

Porter's websites have an over-arching theme: their devotion to identifying the enemies of David Noakes (Guernsey-resident GcMAF-dealer and friend of humanity); and to itemising the injustices, obloquys and contumely they have heaped upon his philanthropic head. I like the word 'contumely', it is sadly under-used in this debased age, someone needs to incorporate it in a dirty limerick.

So 'MHRAcorrupt.st' delineates all that is evil about the standards-enforcement agency that shut down Noakes' GcMAF production. Despite the wide remit of the site 'Corrupt Guernsey', the examples of corruption all involve the undemocratic persecution of David Noakes by the illegitimate and unmandated Guernsey government. While 'PharmaKiller.st' / 'PharmaMurder.com' is nominally focussed on the evils of vaccines and the Big Pharma assassins who are systematically extinguishing dissident voices around the globe, but the centrepiece is the Paid Saboteurs page -- a list of people and institutions who have been bought, causing them to reject the correctness of David Noakes' theories. This list of accomplices recognises (inter alia)

1. Jeffrey Beall's predatory-publishing coverage;
2. RetractionWatch;
3. the GMC;
4. and the Whackyweedia.

The burnishing of Noakes' besmirched and traduced reputation continues, and the List of Enemies re-appears, in 'GcMAFtruth.st' -- most recent addition to "Ben Porter"'s portfolio of flapdoodle. The List omits RetractionWatch, no doubt to the chagrin of the busy elves there, but in compensation it adds a warning against Fake GcMAF. In particular it challenges the integrity of one Marco Ruggiero, Noakes' erstwhile business partner, and denies that the 'Rerum' product invented and distributed by Ruggiero (in competition with GcMAF) has any biological efficacy.

You can't spell 'Redrum' without 'Rerum'

It is time to check that you are well-stocked with popcorn.

3. Back in the days, in parallel with MAFActive.com, another of the Lesley Hutchings / Trevor Banks websites re-imagined the selling of snake-oil as a crowd-sourced citizen-science clinical trial, and encouraged customers to leave their glowing reports of clinical improvements. That slowly lost steam and the last die-hard customer left her last comment four or five months ago.

But perfectly good testimonials need never go to waste on the Intergrid, when there are competing GcMAF operations, such as Amanda Jewell's "Maf & Me" page on the Facebukkake, which hews to the same paradigm of soliciting customer participation. Domains were reserved for the MafandMe.co.uk and MafandMe.com websites but no-one got around to setting them up. Instead there is "MAF&Me"... where some busy beaver is even now purloining those confidential reports from Lesley's secure database and combining them with random photographs of autistic kids scraped off the interlattice, to create the impression of a large established and satisfied client base.

So the background at GcMAFResearch for "Connor" from 2014, plus a random sprinkling of diary entries as feedback, were combined with a photograph of Icelandic autistic kid Keli, to become MAF&Me patient "JuniorX". Jas from 2014 acquired the image of "peanut butter girl" (don't ask) to become patient Jass. ECW (last reporting to GcMAFresearch in mid 2015) was matched with the image of Liam Brooks of North Carolina, to become ECW.

There's an awful lot of profiles in the Banks-Hutchings archives so it could take some time to steal them all.

4. Back when they were resident in Bulgaria, as ski-field hoteliers and the Pearl Property accommodation bureau and the Pamporovo Tourism Bureau, and converting Pearl Lodge into a GcMAF / bleach-enema clinic Health and Restoration Centre, Amanda Jewell and husband Doug were also offering sniper schools and military survival games for children. I am Malarkey is not making this up:

With that kind of expertise, I don't know why they were so worried about assassination by Big Pharma.

Thx Dora, Malarkey

* If this is not a word then it should be.

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SMUTDATE [updates are like cosmetic surgery for blogposts; there can never be too many]

1. MAFActive products are advertised by various suppliers and in subsidiary blogs as containing GcMAF. In the interests of scrupulous accuracy, we note that Lesley's LinkedIn advertisement backs away from this promise:

MAFActive products [...] are based around a isolated immune protein similar to that known as GcMAF

2. Someone called 'Halima Hidalgo' had a few industrious days in January on the FaceBukkake, visiting the pages of autism support groups and cancer / Lyme Disease scammers, pimping out the "Maf & Me" page and GcMAF from Amanda Enterprises FirstProEngineering. 'Halima Hidalgo' sounds very Spanish and perhaps she is Colombian or Mexican, befriended by Amanda Mary Jewell during her sojourn there. Her FB comments also promote the websites "http://www.gcmafinformation.com" and "https://immuneactivator.wordpress.com", AMJ-related front-ends for FirstProEngineering. These offer no new comedic material and I mention them only out of conscientiousness and a hypertrophied desire for completeness.

SMUTDATE #2
The comment thread at the Bradstreet GoFundMe is itself a string of kewpies thing of beauty and well worth reading.

Andrew Hale
9 months ago

Any investigator you hire will certainly be approached by the CIA and told how to conduct the investigation , if he refuses, another body will be found floating in the river.

Carlos Caridad
9 months ago

just Google: How To Find The Truth With a Pendulum - Part 1

Eric Prescott
9 months ago

If you want to solve this find friends of ted gunderson. Hes gone now but hes the ex fbi agent that solved the mcmartin preschool case and jon benet ramsay case, hes the guy who got that one in the tabloids finally. To solve it it just has to actually be investigated.

Tim Vawter
8 months ago

There is actually a drug that causes this. I will not say what it is, but I will say I witnessed the testing of this drug in Sept 1982. I will also say 1. The drug is still available. Not to the public, but to doctors and industry. 2. The drug probably has an 80% suicide rate. Mixed with another drug or two probably raises it to over 90%. 3. The drug needs to be stamped out. For whatever supposedly innocent uses this drug may have, there are plenty of other drugs which can be used instead. This is a "hit drug" like LSD but far more powerful, and it needs to be stamped out. 4. I am in the process of filing a federal lawsuit to get the drug stamped out, so no one can buy it or use it.

Tim Vawter

(follow up) If you contact me privately, I can tell you more about this drug such as what the symptoms are, how it is given to people, how to counter it, and similar.

[Smutnote: Perutz wrote a book about that drug]

Johnny Stanley

8 months ago

Jeff was found shot in the chest across the street from where I work in Chimmney Rock.A private investigator came and told us they were looking for his wife and boyfriend who where behind it.He even had photos of her before she dyed her hair blonde,but before he was found she showed up at my job and was crying saying she couldnt find her husband and she just knew he was dead.Lori bradstreet is behind this murder.

Johnny Stanley

8 months ago

If you will notice Lori posted 28 days ago and then scroll down theres a John Reinhold Sr who also posted 28 days ago,whos photo was also brought by my place of employment as being one of the suspects.Dont fall for their comments.

C Laurel Brookes

5 months ago

Don't rule out help from a reliable psychic...

Bonus Clouds of Witness (James Gleeson, 1966)