Saturday, April 2, 2016

Things that make one ashamed to be an alcoholic #66

Gluten-Free Vodka.
Unlike most vodkas, which are made from grain, CÎROC™ Ultra-Premium Vodka is gluten-free and distilled from fine French grapes; a process inspired by over a century of wine-making expertise and craftsmanship. It is the fine French grapes and the fifth distillation at the historic Distillerie de Chevanceaux in the South of France that give CÎROC™ Ultra-Premium Vodka a distinctive flavor with an exceptionally fresh, citrus taste.
So it is brandy that is re-distilled and filtered to remove any lingering flavours of brandy, presumably because 'vodka' is a simpler signifier of opulence and prestige to fob off on clueless moneyed numpties [or in the words of the Whackyweedia, "the brand's intended urban clientele"]. Then reflavoured as Peach or Coconut or Salted Pineapple or Green Apple to make it even classier, and sipped through a straw rolled up from a $100 bill.

It sounds classy and yooge and awesome. The main surprise is to find it in the merchandising portfolio of Diddy Puff Daddy rather than Donald Trump.
H/t Zoinks

6 comments:

rhwombat said...

Tasmanian bushwalker's beer: 10g anhydrous ethanol, 500ml creek water (wombat poo removal optional), 2mg Vegemite. Shake (hard) in a sealed container. Close eyes, hold nose, disengage relate papillae and frontal lobes and consumed as rapidly as possible. Otherwise it was impossible to rationalise Fosters.

Jamie Parsons said...

Things that make one ashamed to be an alcoholic #2: living on PBR and not much else besides coffee and tea.

Oh well.

Smut Clyde said...

not much else besides coffee and tea.

You really should augment your diet with black pudding. Trust me. I'm a doktor.

Sirius Lunacy said...

I've had my share of black pudding, but I'd swear it wasn't black when I put it in the fridge last Tuesday.

Jamie Parsons said...

You really should augment your diet with black pudding. Trust me. I'm a doktor.

I did go out to an Indian buffet yesterday, and ate a whole bunch, so I was set for the day. Right now I've got a tunafish sandwich to work on.

Kind of looking forward to going out and staying at my mom's place (for once), since now that she is less of an alcoholic than she was when I was growing up, she cooks a lot. I haven't been in the mood, really.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Funny how they call it a vodka when it could be marketed as a trendy grappa... Oooo Madonn'!