Tuesday, June 28, 2016

You have been identified

They're onto us! Quick, AK, reformat the hard-disk while I empty the till!

You have been identified as a potential

Of course it would be nice to know who identified us. Intellects vast and cool and unsympathetic? A stalker? The lidless red eye of Sauron? I'm sure I turned off the webcam on the palantír.

You have been identified as a potential author: JCRO

Oh the relief, it is just those lovable scamps at PeerTechz Jizzmop Journals soliciting for moneys in a fulsome exudation of flattery:

Greetings for the day!
Peertechz was launched this Journal to support the Open Access in the way of publishing manuscripts, new technics and methods in science. Journal of Clinical Research and Ophthalmology (ISSN: ISSN: 2455-1414) published articles are freely available online to the readers for life time.
The journal encourages the authors to publish their manuscripts in a large Open Access network: Peertechz and its looking for the manuscripts from selective scientists like you who have enormously contributed to the scientific community.
It would really be grateful to you if you can send us energetic and enthusiastic submission to successfully release the upcoming issue. Send us any type of article to increase the visibility of the Journal of Clinical Research and Ophthalmology.
The manuscript format instructions can be found at Guidelines tab in the journal homepage.
If you are interested, please respond us on or before 48 hours and send your paper by July 15th, 2016.
Should you need any further information, please do not hesitate to contact me.
We are looking forward to have valuable submission from you soon.
Best regards,
Saurabh R
Journal Managing Editor
Editorial Office-Peertechz.com
Tel: +91 40 23833479
mail.ophthalmology@peertechz.com; ophthalmology1.peertechz@gmail.com
Please Note: This is not a spam message and has been sent to you because of your eminence in the field. This email and any attachment may contain private and confidential information. Do not share without Peertechz.com’s approval. If you have received this message in error, please notify the sender and delete the email and any attachment. If you do not want to hear from us please unsubscribe at: http://peertechz.com/unsubscribe.php.
The skeezy little grifter behind PeerTechz, Rajesh Varma Datla, is Hyderabad-based and presumably an alumnus of the OMICS juggernautical clown-car. However, he seems to have learned his English and his spam template (as well as his business model) from the family of scammers who run the Austin Publishing Group, for the typical spamwaves from Austin begin with the same "Greetings for the day!" and end with the same unconvincing assurance that the spam you are reading is, in fact, not a spam.

Perhaps it is a pipe.

UPDATE: Even at the bottom of the barrel there are levels of badness. A few seconds of idle browsing reveals a paper that emerged through the Peertechz pukefunnel in mid-March, and was promptly plagiarised for an OMICS spigot before the month was out.
UPDATE²: Now the illiterate cockwombles at Scientificfederation have revised their scamference spam-mails to start in the same way. Is this the standard of courtesy in Hyderabad? Is it like fish of the day, or soup of the day?
Having received a salutation intended to last for 24 hours, I am not sure what to do if someone else tries to greet me.

Greetings for the Day!
We have delighted in inviting you to solicit your presence as a speaker at the World Congress & Expo on Dementia & Neuroscience (Neuroscience-2016) held at Los Angeles, USA which is during September 26-28, 2016.
To know more about the Conference: http://scientificfederation.com/neuroscience-congress/
This year we have adopted the theme "Novel Therapies in Dementia & Neurology". Neurology-2016 will be one of the largest international gatherings of researchers, scientists, professors, and students in the field of Dementia & Neuroscience. The conference will offer opportunities to exchange scientific ideas and create networks between people from academia, industry and regulatory authorities as well as between young and established scientists and professionals.

We really like to have your presence at this conference please let me know your interest towards the same. We will also cordially invite a large group of researchers to join the conference and share their research related to Dementia & Neuroscience. We are confident that participants will benefit from the high value scientific program.
For any further assistance please contact us, looking forward to hear from you.

Look forward to you joining us in Los Angeles, USA!
Best regards,
D. R. Kapil
Neuroscience-2016 Conference
Event Manager
Scientific Federation
T: +91-7799790001
Email: neuroscience.congress@scientificfederation.com
If you don’t want to receive any further e-mail from Neuroscience-2016 please revert back with a subject
The dangerous invitation to "revert back" was there last time too.


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Greetings for the day!

I expect to see an offer to share someone's vast fortune after I have been so greeted.

Another Kiwi said...

Reformatting the hard drive, you say *turns computer off and on very quickly*. All done! If these people were honest about their chicanery they could probably get a job with the Trump organisation.

Smut Clyde said...

The scabby little shitweasel is earning himself plaudits from around the world for the record-breaking cluelessness of his heavy-handed spamming.


Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

I'm certainly reassured by the assertion that he's not spamming. Now where's my wallet?