Saturday, July 9, 2016

Ram Testicle Palpation Explained by Prime Minister.

Four Why? Men. Picture Stolen from Metro magazine

Warning to all citizens: If these men come to your house do not let them in. Do not sign any papers they may present. Put headphones on and sing along with the music until they are gone.
These folks are (left to right) NZ Attorney General Chris Finlayson, Minister of Bribes to Saudi Arabia Murray McCully, Prime Minister "What me, worry" John Key and Minister for Up Your Nose with a Garden Hose Gerry Brownlee.
Finlayson is doing his best to control his temper at being asked to be in the same room as these morons whose three combined brains do not equal 1/4 of his super-intellect and steely resolve. Disturbingly he has done some good work on Maori land negotiations but has the most vituperative language when questioned about anything.
"What's the time Mr. AG". "You would ask that, you worthless piece of slime. Can't you see I'm busy?"
McCully has done sterling work in getting rid of excess money in trying to placate Saudi businessmen who just revealed last week that 1) They hadn't been going to take the NZ government to court and 2) Come and take all these dead sheep and bones away WTF is wrong with you people?
McCully seems to have bravely taken on the project of pumping money and sheep at the Saudis with no help, or even knowledge about the jolly wheeze, from the rest of the government. Murray may survive the unseemliness as the twitter verse swirls around what sort of photos he has that make him invulnerable.
Dear Leader Key is doing one of his classic deflections (it is always misdirection) as, perhaps, a journalist asks him a question that has an answer that hasn't been focus groped to submission by his PR firm and his minders. Ha ha, silly old AK no one asks those questions any more. Mr Key has taken to blaming the banks for the housing Not-a-Crisis in NZ at the moment  in a plaintive "What can I do" sort of manner. He is a prisoner of cruel fate just like all of us and if he didn't have a house in Hawaii he would be forced to live in NZ and that would be just awful.
Mr. Brownlee is doing his best Easter Island moai impersonation because that is less trouble than when he talks and all them words come out and basically It Is Not Fair. A couple of weeks ago Mr Brownlee informed a breathless nation that the new Convention Centre that the government was going to build in Christchurch in a partnership with a private firm was actually going to be on their own after all. We were just silly to think that it was a going to be a partnership after years of being told it was going to be one because reasons.
The government is looking a little shaky at the moment due to various inept or, in McCully's case, actual breaking the law cases. But I'm sure that will not be reflected in the polls due to John Key's a good bloke you'd like to have a beer with.


Trevor said...

Mr Keys looks uncannily like Keith Holyoake, fondling a kiwifruit way back when. The caption, from the Massey Capping Mag, read "Testicle Transplant for PM?". Some sort of synchronicity I guess, or maybe an old charter or something. But back in those days things were easier, and the PM was not surrounded by an undertaker and two seriously overweight pallbearers.

Smut Clyde said...

Let us not forget Key's encounter with Randy the Lucky-Dip Merino.

rhwombat said...

Having just failed in our attempt to get rid of our particular set of grifting spivs, would you consider trading in Key for Turnbull? We'll throw in a cycling Smeagol and Deputy Primemustelid (and Depp Dog Botherer Barnaby Beetroot for free - as long as you keep them.

Another Kiwi said...

Hah hah, no. Those are youses supermarket shopping bags and have to be buried out the back of the nuclear testing range.

Sirius Lunacy said...

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I am happy to see A.K. enriching these inner tubes with humor.

I am horrified to see that the same fucking shit that happens on my side of the planet is happening on the opposite side.

When the log rolls over we will all be dead.

rhwombat said...

AK: The nuclear testing range is where we dug them up from in the first place. Lange had the right idea. What's the half life of weapons grade plutocratonium?