A blot on the Escutcheon

Sejant, couchant, passant: Legitimate heraldic terms.
Fondant, pedant, pissant: Apparently not legitimate. I am disappoint.

[Derp Horse from "The Queen's Beasts"]

I would pay good money for a heraldry-centric "Julian & Sandy" skit in which Kenneth Horne wants a coat-of-arms and ends up at "Bona Blazon", exchanging Polari badinage with Gules and Sinople.

 Bonus Heraldry: DOIN IT RONG.