Tuesday, March 27, 2018

There is Fusion Cuisine. Then there is Dirty-Bomb-with-Persistent-Radionuclides Cuisine

Peanut Butter & Jelly in a burger... wrong on more levels than Peach Trees Block.

And what fresh abomination is this? From what inchoate nightmare has it sprung, from what realm of irreality of things that cannot be? Why did no-one tell me that Hieronymus Bosch wrote a cookbook?

Perhaps it is someone's sick twisted hommage to Hypgnosis cover art.


M. Bouffant said...

Not to be pedantic (much) but it's "Hipgnosis".

I can almost imagine peanut butter on a 'burger (peanut sauce is swell on beef) but jelly? Only fruit I want on my hamburger is a tomato.

Trevor said...

What were they smoking back in those days? If it made them think that pink icing goes well with saveloys onna stick I want some of it.

rhwombat said...

Mr Litvinenko - don't try the borscht.

Smut Clyde said...

Only fruit I want on my hamburger is a tomato.

Tinned beetroot is not a fruit? I was misinformed.

rhwombat said...

Maaaate! In Oz beetroot on ya burger in compulsory. Mind you Baarnaby Beetrooter, ex-kiwi, ex-deputy PM, ex-water-stealing dingo daddy may have an effect on that.

mistah charley, ph.d. said...

in the early fifties, in new england, on more than one occasion my mother sent me to first grade with a peanut butter and jelly and bacon sandwich - it was tasty

nowadays in my mostly plant based eating program once in a while i have bacon-flavored textured vegetable protein chips - they aren't the same, but they approximate a few aspects of the smoked pig belly experience

Smut Clyde said...

my mother sent me to first grade with a peanut butter and jelly and bacon sandwich

In an attempt to get rid of it, I assume.

Emma said...

I was trying to get here a minute ago and I accidentally typed "http://eusa-riddled.blogpsot.com/" into the address bar, and Lord, oh Lord.

And then I actually made it and you're giving me peanut butter & jelly on a hamburger, and I don't know what I ever did to hurt you like that.

In high school my friend was a foreign exchange student in Finland, and she told me they put ranch dressing on pizzas. And that they call it "American sauce." Which is, obviously, ridiculous: American sauce is the layers of prevarication David Brooks applies to all his columns to obfuscate how racist he is.

I'll let myself out.

Mongo, At The Moment said...

Holy Mother Of God. I... I knew the world was various in its manifestations, both sublime and icky (Georgia O'Keefe, vintage XTC, or David Brooks, eew), but never imagined food product in this way.

Was it childhood trauma? Mandatory exposure to Plutonium? Did we pick up Betty Crocker, hitchhiking in the rain, who "did things"? Was it Nixon? How can we live in a world where such things are?

Actually, at Halloween I play 'Trick or Traif': Children ring the doorbell, and receive Candied Bacon. So maybe I shouldn't criticize.

I'll let myself out, too.

Smut Clyde said...

ranch dressing on pizzas.

I saw a sign in Tokyo once advertising pizza with mayonnaise and sweetcorn, but I was on the way to an art gallery and no time for lunch.
Finns are a desperate and dangerous people. They speak a language with 14 cases and this has left them with NFLTG.

Emma said...

"NFLTG" looks like a character out of the Gylfaginning, but it stands for No Fucks Left To Give. Clearly my social media sabbatical has been taken too far.

I also understand that Finland is the only place that ever decisively kicked Russia's ass. Maybe we can trade the products of our natural salad-dressing hot springs for some tips.

Smut Clyde said...

The Winter War and the Continuation War were meatgrinders for the Red Army. OTOH, they still ended up with the Finns ceding territory, because being a country of snow-ninja assassins was not enough when Stalin was happy to keep sending troops into that meatgrinder.

In other news, life-lesson #62, which I would like to pass on to you young-uns, is this: Do not try to out-drink a Finn.