The authors sing the praises of carnivorous plant-squeezins as a Cure for Cancer, advertising a cancer-fraud product and seeking validation for the bafflegab surrounding it, without actually using its title "Carnivora". I eagerly awake their next project, of staging "Hamlet" while dispensing with the Prince of Denmark character.

1985 and 1987 saw a couple of mockademic publications, though the world is still waiting for any records from his 15,000 patients to document his claims of a spectacular cure rate of (depending on source) 56%, 82% or 98%. The highest value relied on early detection and treatment: so early, in fact, that the only evidence of a cancer to cure might be Dr Keller's clinical intuition.
Here at the Riddled Research Laboratory we are inspired to extend Helmut Keller's work to triffid juice, which is bound to be even more curative, as soon as we open that portal to the John Wyndham Fictive Realm (don't worry about safety or the risk of escape, all the research will be conducted within our best-practice Fictive Confinement Facility).
The squeezings are not well-accepted in the US, where the Carnivora company fell foul of the FDA by importing it through a fraudulent labelling scheme. It is promoted mainly through Truther Health-Freedom channels, targetting barmpots who want to protect themselves against Chemtrail Toxicity and vaccine injury, and who take it for granted that the only cancer cures that work are the ones that the evil Gubblement is suppressing. Griftospheric channels like "Extreme Health Radio", or Jeff Rense's operation [as well as a conspiracy-weaponising conman, Rense is a literal, unabashed Nazi].
The Carnivora webshop provides a helpful Note from the Founder, Dr Keller himself, in which he retconned his rationale for the product and rebranded it as an immuno-modulator rather than a direct dissolver of cancers:
From this observation, I concluded that the Venus Flytrap plant must have an advanced immune system capable of distinguishing between harmful intruder organisms and its own materials.Did I mention that Carnivora now cures non-diseases like Chronic Lyme Disease as well?
In fact, the plant only digests the "primitive" undeveloped, undifferentiated cells of its own prey. These "primitive" cells are the same kind of cells that intrude into the human body.
The webshop also provides contact options for dead people, which is unusual even by the standards of medscammers.
Senior Vice PresidentIt is tempting to email them to see if a pre-recorded message bounces back (along the lines of Brian O'Blivion), or even a response: "For God’s sake! — quick! — quick! — put me to sleep — or, quick! — waken me! — quick! — I say to you that I am dead!”
the late Robert Ostrow 1927-2014
robert@carnivora.com
Founder
the late Dr. Helmut Keller
info@carnivora.com
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Disgraced data-forger as co-editor: a positive for intended readership |
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"Anti-Inflammatory and Anticancer Drugs from Nature" |
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Nature vitalism: Often ends in human sacrifices to green cats |


Anyway, Kreher & Wagner cite Keller (1985) in reverential terms (and are in turn cited approvingly on the carnivora.com "Science" page as the most credible sciency support for the fraud). Gaascht et al. (2013) read and cited Kreher & Wagner, so they were aware of Keller’s central role as instigator of the whole Better-Living-through-Flytrap grift. As noted, they take trouble not to mention "Carnivora" directly or cite the primary source, so they were also aware that Keller’s reputation as a lying gobshite charlatan might raise concerns, even among Frontiers reviewers.
** Todorov, Ilarionova & Pajeva (2000) did stovepipe one of their paid fabrications into the legitimacy of the Bulgarian Academy of Sciences.
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UPDATE: Keller and his followers were not doctrinaire about flytraps and were open to the possibility that other genera of carnivorous plants would be equally all-curative.After all, sundews (Drosera sp.) contain many of the same toxic secondary metabolites like plumbagin and hydroplumbagin.
Predictably enough, this has inspired another genre of bad science. So far, "Plumbagin Suppresses the Invasion of HER2-Overexpressing Breast Cancer Cells" (2016) has been retracted for an unaccaptable proportion of faked results, while "Ramentaceone, a Naphthoquinone Derived from Drosera sp." (2016) is under investigation.
5 comments:
Oho, so YOU'RE the father of all of those glowing eyed kids. Does the Frau Doktorin know this?
Possibly a distant cousin. If family traditions are to be believed, the original Village of the Damned is Thisted up in the north of the old country.
"Nature vitalism: Often ends in human sacrifices to green cats". Please see the Sparks video at blckdgrd.com. 'Scuse me; gotta go prove I'm not a robot.
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Hi, Science Investigate! I am enjoying your well-researched observations.
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