Sporadic skull-blogging: Smithsonian Barbie edition¹

PRELIMINARY STUDY AND FIRST PHOTOGRAPHS OF A SMALL SKULL OF HUMAN TYPE FOUND IN MOROCCO

Shown Actual Size

"This day, I was likely to discover a small skull of Primate, in a marble quarry, about 16 km far from Erfoud (desert of Tafilalet). The emotion was immense, because I knew that the ground did not have less than 360 million years. It was therefore the age of the little skull!

Buried in sand, in this open-sky marble quarry, where extraction had been suspended, the skull was alone. There were no traces of a post-cranial skeleton.

It appeared to be a complete, well preserved and not deformed cranium, with a quite horizontal skull-base. The insertion of the occipital foramen is under the cranium.

Despite of its smallness, the cranium is that of an adult, if one refers to its unworn wisdom teeth.

The Tafilalet skull shows characteristics of the genus Homo :

• Position of the occipital foramen : centred head in balance.
• Jaws : short, parabolic.
• Symphyse angle : obtuse, in a back position.
• Forehead : high and round-shaped, like the hind skull.
• Dental formula: estimated at 32 teeth, inserted vertically.

The cranial parameters are :

• Circumference : 18,4 cm
• Facial angle : 81 º
• Height : BP = 3,9 cm
• Length : NQ = 6,1 cm
• Height/Length ratio : ± 0,639"

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¹ Full Smithsonian Barbie story here.

These interesting developments are brought to us by Bipedia, a journal of non-traditional evolutionary biology.

More precisely, Bipedia focuses on the "Initial Bipedalism" theory that the first vertebrates to colonise dry land were not lobe-fin fishes, but small primates that had already evolved legs, a vertical posture, endothermy and large brains² as adaptations for their aquatic existence.³ Some of these primates evolved into humans while others lost the large brains and radiated out into the rest of the mammalia; further devolution and specialisation produced birds and reptiles (not to mention fish, in a secondary return to the ocean). Some people think that mammals evolved from fish but this is foolish talk.

I can't help wondering whether De Selby ever commented on this theory.

² These were initially a flotation device:
³ "ears apparently evolved as breathing orifices".

Increasingly irregular skull-blogging: Anthroposophy edition

According to Trevor Constable, Rudolf Steiner was a "Prodigal titan" and a "God-like man":
I can do that.
Me neither. But everyone is "SHUT UP SMUT!" and then I am thrown out of the pub. There is NO JUSTICE.

A pilot test of Steiner's prescription for witch repellent

Here in New Zealand we are primitive peasant folk, and Steiner is best known for his contributions to pest control. In particular for his 'peppering' process ^{[now with less pepper]} of burning the pelt and testicles of an unwanted species when Venus is in Scorpio, and asperging fields with the ashes to repel that species of pest and reduce its fertility.

Witch-repellent pilot test: Results of placebo, a diet of eggs
and acrylic, and two varieties of biodynamic alphabet spaghetti.

Peppering did not work in a field test but that has not discouraged the anthroposophists and biodynamicists who pointed out that the soil was not damp enough when the ashes were sprinkled. MORE RESEARCH IS NEEDED.

Of course here at Riddled we are more concerned with Rudolf Steiner's views on skulls. Goethe reckoned "that the skull-bones are metamorphosed vertebrae, bones of the spine". Steiner said No, they are like the long bones of arms and legs and ribs, but inside-out:

...if we compare the inner surface of a tubular bone with the outer surface of a skull-bone... The inner surface of the tubular bone corresponds morphologically to the outer surface of the skull-bone. The skull-bone can be derived from the tubular bone if we picture it as being reversed, to begin with, according to the principle of the turning-inside-out of a glove. In the glove, however, when I turn the outer surface to the inside and the inner to the outside, I get a form similar to the original one. But if in the moment of turning the inside of the tubular bone to the outside, certain forces of tension come into play and mutual relationships of the forces change in such a way that the form which was inside and has now been turned outward alters the shape and distribution of its surface, then we obtain, through inversion on the principle of the turning-inside-out of a glove, the outer surface of the skull bone as derived from the inner surface of the tubular bone. From this you can conclude as follows. The inner space of the tubular bone, this compressed inner space, corresponds in regard to the human skull to the entire outer world...

Steiner was apparently under the impression that the parietal and occipital bones have marrow on the outside, suggesting a lack of direct first-hand experience.

He was also sadly unclear on how one should turn a tubular bone inside out like a glove. Perhaps it involves Fritz Leiber's Invertor...

Or the Rhennius Machine from Zelazny's Doorways in the Sand...

... Or Portal #4 in Seven Exits from Bosz.

Bloody hell, the witches are back, and just as fertile as before. SO MUCH FOR PEPPERING.*

Witch test fails to repel pilots

* The Popering, on the other hand, is just fine.

Thursday Skull Blogging

Must credit BBBB.

Pálsson & Edwards translation, 1976:

Skapti Thorarinsson the Priest, a man of great intelligence, was there at the time. He picked up Egil's skull and placed it on the fence of the churchyard. The skull was an exceptionally large one and its weight was even more remarkable. It was ridged all over on the outside like a scallop shell, and Skapti wanted to find out just how thick it was, so he picked up a heavy ax, swung it in one hand and struck as hard as he was able with the reverse side of the ax, trying to break the skull. But the skull neither broke nor dented on impact, it simply turned white [...]

People have used this description to argue that Egil Skallagrimsson had Paget's syndrome. However, the argument rests on the identification of a skull found in a churchyard as that of Egil, simply because it was large.

It could have been that of a pygmy elephant.

Bonus Deselbiana:
"The legend of Cyclops was based on the discovery by the ancient Greeks of real fossils with a gigantic hole in the middle of their forehead, 'of which creature we may say that it was probably not a rhinoceros, but little more' (de Selby, Cyclopean Vision, p. 1332)."

Skull-blogging: Vergina Edition

Does a certain substantial blog hold a monopoly over Vergina Blogging? I think not. More importantly, Messrs. Treyson & Clerisy (Riddled's legal advisors) do not think do either.

The 1977 excavation of Royal Tomb II at Vergina recovered a male skeleton, generally in a bad state, as most of us would be after cremation and a couple of millennia in a tomb. Neave and Prag of Manchester University identified the skull as that of Philip II of Macedon, on the basis of damage to the right eye socket. This is the Philip who was father of Alexander; holder of All Thrace Barbarism Trophy for 345 BCE, and "a quiet man who kept to himself a lot, no trouble at all" according to his neighbours.

Neave and Prag went on to reconstruct his face, following the techniques of the Manchester school:

DIY Facial Reconstruction!

Philip II of Macedon has an INVITINGLY LARGE FOREHEAD. Also there is the chance of Morgellons syndrome. But fortunately here at the Riddled Research Laboratories we have been working night and day (until the barstaff kicked us out at closing time) to address the existential threat of Morgellons. The resulting MorgellonsShield is only a detection system but that's a start.


There is also a Moscow school of forensic facial reconstruction. However, M. M. Gerasimov has already received his fair share of free publicity, what (a) inspiring the Prof. Andreev character in Gorky Park, and (b) being mentioned in Day Watch for opening the tomb of Tamurlane in June 1941.* Not to mention the absence of Vergina.

ACADEMIC CAVEAT: Other archaeologists argue that the apparent damage to the eye socket is an artefact of dry-bone cremation plus a flawed reassembly of the skull fragments, meaning that the tomb was actually that of Alexander's half-brother Philip III Arrhidaeus, so the entire facial reconstruction is spurious but SHUT UP SMUT.

* This allowed Gerasimov to reconstruct Tamurlane's face from the skeletal remains; it also unwittingly unleashed a curse and precipitated the German invasion of Russia. He re-interred Tamurlane's remains and sealed the tomb in 1942, to coincide with the Red Army's successful counterattack. Operation Uranus. I am not making this up.

Thursday Skull Blogging #2

For some people, Graham Greene's A Burnt-out Case is primarily a novel about an architect. For others it's about an atheistic doctor with a mordant sense of humour. I focussed on other aspects:

"There is an old Danish doctor still going the rounds who became a leprologist late in life. By accident. He was excavating an ancient cemetery and found skeletons there without fingerbones -- it was an old leper-cemetery of the fourteenth century. He X-rayed the skeletons and he made discoveries in the bones, especially in the nasal area, which were quite unknown to any of us -- you see most of us haven't the chance to work with skeletons. He became a leprologist after that. You will meet him at any international conference on leprosy carrying his skull with him in an airline's overnight bag. It has passed through a lot of douaniers' hands. It must be rather a shock, that skull, to them, but I believe they don't charge duty on it." (p. 113)

The Danish expert was of course Vilhelm Møller-Christensen, and the story is more-or-less true, though a lot of the time he was passing through customs with a whole string-bag of skulls, not just one. He later became friends with Greene and they sent one another signed copies of their books.*

My next blockbuster-novel-in-the-tradition-of-Dan-Brown will revolve around Møller-Christensen's collection of leprotic skulls. It will also feature the Knights of Saint Lazarus (not as well-known as the Knights-Templar, but far more interesting), who are locked in a conspiratorial battle with the collection's present-day custodians in order to re-capture the skull of Robert the Bruce (purloined and smuggled out of Scotland by Møller-Christensen to become the jewel in his collection, under shady circumstances involving bribery and a hollow bowling-ball). In the climactic scene they force entry to the underground sanctuary where the skulls are kept, but make away with the skull of Egil Skallagrimsson** by mistake, on account of believing the elaborate glass case containing it to be a sign of its royal significance. Then they all contract Paget's Syndrome from handling it, and die. The end.

* E.g. the Encyclopedia of Bible Creatures.
** Acquired for the collection on account of its unusual shape and described in Møller-Christensen's unfinished magnum opus, "Studies for a New Phrenology".

Skull-Blogging: Gravity Pirates edition *

Back in 1979, Shaw and Pittinger showed that a pattern of skull growth determined by the gravity gradient produced a cardioidal transform across the course of the life span, which explained how head shapes change with time. They did not know that they were laying the groundwork for the research that would eventually culminate in the Riddled Evolvamat, and what with IP issues the ideal situation would be for them not to find out now.

Of course not everyone lives long enough to develop the fully adult Homo habilis head profile.

But in terms of sexiness and nubility there is much to be said for retaining the high forehead and the negative facial angle of youth. Obviously this is best done by reversing the gravity gradient. This is where the Rejuvenator Centrifuge comes in, shifting the locus of skull growth to the top -- and at the same time causing muscle and fat and skin to migrate in the same direction.

Rejuvenator Centrifuge is also a valuable alternative to steroids for producing super-strong chickens.

The cages are a regrettable necessity for sometimes the human subjects do not cooperate for the lengthy sessions of centrifuging required for complete results.

Smaller cages are useful for preventing excessively rapid skull enlargement and ensuring an optimal outcome.

UPDATE: Now the Riddled Research Laboratory is besieged with messages asking if the Rejuvenator Centrifuge can also be used with Volkswagen cars, to give them a youthful neotenous appearance.

We had no idea that there were so many sick perverts combining auto-eroticism with pedophilia.

* Alternative title: Emission of Gravity.

Skull-blogging: Broken-symmetry edition

Cranio-sacral therapists believe that the cranium is sacred. To express their spirituality they build more-or-less skull-shaped churches --

-- No wait that's not true. Cranio-sacral therapy turns out to be an outgrowth of osteopathy and is all about "the cyclic movement of inhalation and exhalation of the cranium". The cranial bones apparently flex in rhythmic pulsation, pumping fluid along the spine, with the sacrum at the other end flexing in syncopation to pump the fluid back.

...the restrictions of nerve passages are said to be eased, the movement of cerebrospinal fluid through the spinal cord is said to be optimized, and misaligned bones are said to be restored to their proper position.

Over at Respectful Insolence, a commenter wonders whether CST can help people who have managed to lodge their heads up their bums, but we will not be having with that at Riddled which is a family blog.

This is all very well. The mirrored role of cranium and pelvis is relevant to J. G. Ballard's interests:
But Ballard's Pushmepullyou model of human evolution is not the only way of accounting for the symmetry. It could also be that the current human architecture is a degenerate, truncated form of an earlier repeating design -- capable of indefinite extension -- where the pelvis of one sub-unit serves as the skull of the next sub-unit in the chain (Smith, 1961).
Sub-units bud at the end and occasionally break off for reproductive purposes, like the epitokes of some polychaete worms.

At a certain point in your adulthood, you would notice a small version of yourself sprouting from your rear end. This individual would be your 'epitoke'. You would referred to as the 'atoke'.
You may have several epitokes joined in a line behind you.

The last time Zombie Ballard showed up in the Riddled tea-room to hang around the akvavit cooler, it didn't seem the right moment to engage him in conversation about this theory; he was too busy moaning for 'COLONNSSSS... COLONNSSSS...".