Monday, August 30, 2010

We warned you not to let them get wet or feed them after midnight, but did you listen?

San Franciscans fight out of control pohutukawa.

San Francisco residents are blaming New Zealand's beloved pohutukawa for destroying sewer lines and pavements.

The idea of planting the trees all around San Francisco streets was that when rising production costs make it too expensive to film blockbuster New Zealand movies locally, we can film them on the cheap over there.

But how did Metrosideros excelsa (a member of the Myrtaceae, related to guava, feijoa, clove, a beer-making ingredient, and the Australian eucalypts and bottlebrush trees) become a New Zealand botanical icon in the first place?

New Zealand Arboricultural Association vice-president Bruce MacDonald [...] described the trees as "very lazy", with their roots preferring to stretch along the easiest route they could find.
Ah, silly question.

20 comments:

Unknown said...

Without those trees there would be no CreativeNZ(tm) inc. dot.dotplc l.imited.

redsmste, peace commies.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Meanwhile, experts have acknowledged that importing the trees was not a clever move.

The urban forestry adviser to the County of San Francisco told the newspaper: "In retrospect, it was a mistake."


He'll never make it big in politics.
~

Unknown said...

He should have issued a guarantee on the trees instead to make sure whatever happens from now on it was guaranteed.

sorippi, sad shredding wee.

Smut Clyde said...

He'll never make it big in politics.

"Urban Forest Advisor" is not the usual first rung on the ladder to absolute power.

Hamish Mack said...

The paper described the trees as the "cursed relic" of the 1980s
The Donald Trump of the tree world, then.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I think I'd rather be an urban forest adviser than whatever it is I am now.

I recommend plenty of Maypops, and all the usual butterfly shrubbery.
~

Substance McGravitas said...

California, however, is to be commended for importing all those eucalyptus trees, which are very good for draining water and producing forest-floor kindling.

Never mind.

Unknown said...

I love the way them gum trees drop their dead they look live to me branches on cars and such.

coroser, rusted singer.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Let them get wet? AG's head just exploded.

mikey said...

Here in california, we do things in a particular way. And that way might best be described as acting like an impulsive four-year-old with ADD. We're really great at thinking UP good ideas, and once we do that, well, hell, we're done, right? Thinking through the consequences? That's for those uptight eastern types.

Supermajority requirement for tax legislation? Hey, what could possibly go wrong?

Lower the bar so any idiot or corporation can get an initiative on the ballot? Why, are you saying that provision might be ABUSED?

My, my, that Kudzu ground cover you imported for your landscaping is LOVELY!

Hey! Let's convert all this nasty wetlands into evaporative salt ponds! That'll work out great!

WV is waxon. Screw you pal, hated that stupid fucking movie...

tigris said...

Maypops AND kudzu? California is starting to sound downright homelike. If a large segment of the population lives in trailers, dips tobacco, and has appliances, vehicles, and bathroom fixtures on the lawn I am THERE.

fish said...

"I will never plant a street tree again,"

Jesus. Californians will complain about everything.
Welcome to a world where trees exist. Yeah okay, you get an occasional broken sidewalk or water main problem, but even more sucky is a whole city without freaking trees. The proper reaction is not to chop down trees or spend thousands trying to, it is to fix the freaking water main.

Of course it is some Dr. complaining. I bet she can't get a decent nanny to work for minimum wage either.

tigris said...

Or plant native trees that are properly sized and not sewage-devouring monsters.

Substance McGravitas said...

Some trees do indeed have an insilvilculture.

Unknown said...

If it wasn't for them trees all us hobbits would be mine slaves in Mordor.

autinoe, yeah you oughta.

Hamish Mack said...

sewage-devouring monsters.
This is not the Jonah Goldberg thread, actually, madam.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

The paper described the trees as the "cursed relic" of the 1980s, and an ill-fated idea that was now wreaking havoc on the city.

Wait, is this also known as the Wang Chung tree?

Smut Clyde said...

It was nice of the San Franciscans to import so many NZ plants to make visiting Kiwis feel at home, or else completely disoriented, depending on the number of pints consumed down at the Magnolia or the Toronado. Cordyline australis or cabbage tree (so-named because it is not a cabbage) seems to be popular.

Note to BBBB: teh cabbage tree has edible bits such as what foragers like.
http://static.radionz.net.nz/assets/audio_item/0007/2382451/twu-20100821-1330-Foraging_Cabbage_tree-m048.asx

But then they import the Muehlenbeckia axillaris and complain about it going feral.

Not to mention Coprosma repens (Taupata), Hoheria populnea(lacebark), Myoporum laetum (Ngaio), Solanum laciniatum (Poroporo) and Pittosporum crassifolium (karo).
WUSSES. You're being beaten up by PLANTS.

tigris said...

"The city of Auckland has been declared to be the weediest city in the world."

Smut Clyde said...

Back in the days of stoic Republican virtue, would the Romans have whinged about being defeated by aggressively invasive plants? Hell no. As Julius Caesar wrote, "Weeny Weedy Weaky".