Saturday, October 23, 2010

A Fierce Pancake

Love triangles and parachutes: A bad combination.
A Belgian woman has been found guilty of murdering her love rival by sabotaging her parachute on a sky dive four years ago[...]
The evidence against her was mainly circumstantial, the BBC's Jonty Bloom in Brussels reports.
It rested on the fact that Clottemans had the opportunity and skill to sabotage Ms Van Doren's parachute and a motive because she wanted to remove a rival for the affections of Marcel Somers - the man both women had a relationship with.
No forensic evidence linked Clottemans to the crime and she strongly denied the charge.
Ms Van Doren died on 18 November 2006, crashing into a garden in the village of Opglabbeek after both of her parachutes failed to open[...]
A week before the fatal jump, the two women spent the night in his flat, Ms Van Doren sharing his bed while Clottemans slept on a mattress or sofa.
Clottemans would have had the opportunity of sabotaging the other woman's parachutes, which were in the flat at the time, prosecutors said.
The Atomic Theory teaches that if you hit a rock hard enough and often enough with an iron hammer, some mollycules of the rock will go into the hammer and contrariwise likewise.

The gross and net result of it is that crashing into a garden after a free-fall from 4000 m. will cause the partial interchanging of the mollycules and the personalities of the skydiver and the garden, and when this is repeated often enough the practitioners become at least 50% garden, with a concomitant abbreviation of the life-span.
Also I am concerned that BBC journalists are either unable or forbidden to write a paragraph consisting of more than one sentence.

10 comments:

ckc (not kc) said...

Just
be
glad
they're
allowed
a
sentence
.
[30]

mikey said...

Jonty Bloom? BBC Belgium's own Jonty Bloom? Are you freakin KIDDING me?

How did he decide NOT to change his surname from "Bloom" to "Alouette"?

Now, THAT woulda been cool.

Zees ees Jonty Alouette rayporTING for zee BBC, Brussels. ReemaimBEAR, Je te plumerai la tête!

ckc (not kc) said...

...well, at least Marcel can make a fresh start.

mikey said...

"Ahnd now we retairn to zee studiohz een Brussels ahnd BBC anchor Frère Jacques. Frère Jacques, Dormez-vous?

Smut Clyde said...

Je te plumerai la tête
Oh dear. All this time I've been plumeraing la tante.

Substance McGravitas said...

OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhh.

Smut Clyde said...

Obligatory Hawkwind track.

tigris said...

...well, at least Marcel can make a fresh start.

Unfortunately she locked him in an invisible box.

Smut Clyde said...

Also he has the wind to contend with.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

So opportunity and motive was enough to convict.

Seems rather circumstantial to me. Whatever, any excuse to fly the Bloody Belgians tag.

WV: whifyi
~