Sunday, May 8, 2011

Why Won't You Answer, Mr. Harper?

In the far off days of childhood when New Zild was a happier and gentler place (except if you were gay or differenter to everyone else in some way) we was easily amused and used to gather around the Teevee of a Saturday evening and wonder at The Amazing Kreskin!!!
This weekend after  a glass and a half of The Olde Entomologist's Gabriel Garcia Marquez Magical Realism Stout with extra raisins I got to wondering:
1) what had become of The Amazing Kreskin, and
2) have we always had small purple dolphins swimming in our bookcases? Does anyone know what they eat, BTW.

With short, purposeful fingers I speed-dialled the Riddled library who  revealed that my call was valuable to them, 37 times, so I was forced to consult the wickywhackypedia, and lo!  they forwarded me to his website. Who you say. Why The Amazing Kreskin as his legally changed name is now. Prompting Mrs Kiwi to wonder what his friends call him, "The" or "Amazing"? "Perhaps Mr. Butthead" opined Daughter Kiwi whose time at Mrs Miggins' finishing school for Young Ladies may not be being entirely useful.

BUT, as you can see at his sumptuous website   it is just as well I found him as he has offered to save Canada.
Very well, I shall tell you how.
Or rather The Amazing will
“ My offer to the Prime Minister is….. when there is a meeting in which there is great concern about the integrity of those involved, I am willing to sit quietly off to the side of the meeting, unannounced, as the meeting takes place.  When it is completed, I will be willing to meet with the Prime Minister or his representative and announce who at the meeting was lying and who was not lying.”   
He will sit quietly, not hearing any secret information or nothin' and then, at the end of the meeting, stand to his feet and point with his skull headed walking stick (I imagine) and reveal which of the politicians was lying. "Curse you, The Amazing Kreskin" they will cry and rush off to loot their office bar fridge before resigning.
Use your new powers wisely, Mr Harper!
Of course Whackyclownpantspedia had to get all wet blanket on it:

In 2002, Kreskin made a prediction that there would be a mass-UFO sighting over Las Vegas, Nevada on June 6 between the hours of 9:45PM and midnight that would be witnessed by thousands of people. He also stated that if there was no sighting, he would donate $50,000 to a charity. Hundreds of people camped out that evening yet no sighting occurred. On June 8, Kreskin appeared in the opening segment of the Coast-to-Coast AM radio show, hosted by Art Bell, to explain what had happened. Bell read over the air, Kreskin's press release that the sighting was "a total fabrication in order to prove people's susceptibility to suggestion post 9/11."
When asked however, about the $50,000 donation, Kreskin claimed there was indeed a sighting that night – glowing green orbs were supposedly spotted in the sky just before midnight and reported by witnesses after news camera crews had already left the scene. Because of this one reported sighting, Kreskin said his prediction came true anyway and he didn't have to pay the money.

Always the little people will try to take down the giants among us.

13 comments:

merc said...

The Amazing Key-skin said the paint really will be investment proof and historical building making. And at 275k for the job, it was cheaper than his limo, that he really didn't know about buying.
See everything always works out for the best in the end.

comahsh, yeah better watch that.

Smut Clyde said...

When it is completed, I will be willing to meet with the Prime Minister or his representative and announce who at the meeting was lying and who was not lying.”

"All of them, Katie."

ckc (not kc) said...

these are politicians and diplomats, right? - Hell, I can do that!

The Fairly Impressive (at least on my good days) mikey said...

Meh.

I've already reached out to Jerry Brown, offering to come to Sacramento and sit quietly in meetings with the Legislature, only to get up and whack across the shins with a walnut walking stick anyone who says something stupid. The problem seems to be that Jerry expected me to include him

The Fairly Impressive (at least on my good days) mikey said...

Umm.

EXclude.

Not one of my good days.

But you watch - sometime next week I'll be fairly impressive.

merc said...

My wrong it was 215k and on reflection must apologise for so thin a link to Mr Kreskin, who also will have noted that Mr Key is borrowing offshore to save money inshore, nothing wrong with that.
http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/politics/4976970/PM-on-renovations-Labour-focused-on-small-issues

terserse, real angus.

Substance McGravitas said...

Mr. Harper may have to tell the truth at such a meeting.

Smut Clyde said...

Someone has some 'splaining to do about the "glowing green orbs in the sky".

Another Kiwi said...

You might think that that person might be in here like lightning... I'm just sayin'

merc said...

Orb is Dead.

fish said...

In 2002, Kreskin made a prediction that there would be a mass-UFO sighting over Las Vegas, Nevada on June 6 between the hours of 9:45PM and midnight that would be witnessed by thousands of people.

I call PT Barnum effect.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Sorry, I got involved in making a serious post. Which means nothing happened at my blog for two days, so no one will ever go there again.
~

Another Kiwi said...

'Clapton is Orb' has been slowly germinating in what we laughingly call my brain.
I shall be back to teh thundra site, might be some good scrap metal there