Friday, June 10, 2011

Beaver shot (Castor caster)

A beaver flying past their windows? Surely some mistake, Constable, for members of the species Castor fiber are not noted for their aeronautical propensities. I cannot speak for the North American species C. canadensis. Perhaps what the neighbours saw was a smaller rodent; it is well-said that "A window without rat-flight past it is a backyard without a house".

Are you sure that they were entirely sober? It grieves me to say it, but the people next door are frequently over-fond of their tipple. Perhaps I should have informed the proper authorities, but it seemed more charitable to move some of the empty bottles from their recycling bin into mine, in an attempt to spare them the shame and the public obloquy.

Oh, that beaver. Yes. I failed to follow you for a moment there; he is a pet, you see, and for obvious reasons we've always called him Pollux. This has led to the occasional confusion and misapprehension when I'm out in the yard at nightfall to call him in for the night... ah, I see the neighbours have been on your case about that. Sometimes too much alcohol makes people irritable and suspicious and liable to misjudge what they hear. I try to pay them no heed when they are in that state.

Trebuchet? What trebuchet?

5 comments:

M. Bouffant said...

Does everyone insist on shaving their damn beavers now?

Trim if necessary, but this is just silly.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

At least the little bugger's balls look hairy, M.B.
~

vacuumslayer said...

"Nice beaver."

"Thanks, I just had it stuffed."

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

At least the little bugger's balls look hairy, M.B.

The fact that he's still got them points to a sheltered existence.

Wynona said...

God DAMMIT Smut.

I TOLD you to stop runnin' off with my beaver.

My boyfriend is gonna punch you right in the mouth!