Saturday, July 16, 2011

This week in veterinary diagnoses

Good news everybody! Due to an administrative mix-up the last three week's of the term have been compressed to into one! I know how excited you'll all be about that while also being relieved that the Administration Timetabling sub-committee will be able to continue their impromptu sherry tasting afternoons. A big relief to us all since we had just bought a new spa pool and tarpaulins.
Anyway on with the quiz:

Poor Daisy is in bad way isn't she? Clues are the orangeness (Bohners disease?) the lumpiness of the stomach (demon possession?) and the mule head transplant. The highly visible methane emissions could be important particularly as they seem to have curdled the sky in the locality.
Well doctors, what diagnosis do you give and what treatment do you prescribe?


Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

I prescribe an appointment with Dr Knacker, and a bout of barbecue therapy.

mikey said...

Ahh, but there's more information at hand. First, notice that the cow is wearing one of those cheesy old white face timex watches with the radium dial. Could we be seeing an unfortunate case of radiation sickness?

But to really appreciate the condition of this bovine, one needs to step back and observe the overall condition of the unfortunate pre-delivery beef and leather vehicle.


That's right. Rocks. This cow has been eating rocks. Big rocks, little rocks, pebbles, boulders, even Betty Rubble - oh wait, I think that was me. Never mind. Where was I.

Oh yeah. Cow. Eating rocks. Look at the poor lumpy thing - there's rocks at every point. No wonder the methane emissions are excessive - you got the choice of passing an eight point slab of igneous geology or just a good sized windstorm. Whatcha gonna choose?

Now, in order to get to the bottom of this, the question we need to answer is why. Why did Bessie decide on an exclusive diet of promontory and escarpment? Well, the working theory at this point is it's the Zombie's fault. Stay with me here. Cows live in Wisconsin, as does the Zombie. He's always going on endlessly about rock n roll, and considering the general lack of naturally occurring rolls, the cow made the best decision she could under the circumstances and at rocks.

QED, motherfucker...

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Never mind the bollocks, here's teh Sex Pistols!