Tuesday, April 3, 2012

The power lines have floaters so the aircraft won't get snagged

"Look!" Dick exclaimed. "Up in the hills, an apparition of Fig. 2!" said George. Anne and Julian were aghast.
"The Famous Five see Figure Captions in the Sky" was one of Enid Blyton's lesser-known works.
Some employers would begrudge the money spent shouting the staff an afternoon off at the beach building sandcastles and identifying priapulid worms, as reward for wrapping up the Wintlestipple contract ahead of schedule and under budget. But at Riddled we eschew false economies. Thou shalt not bind the mouth of the ox that treadeth the grain, we say, for it makes the bindings all soggy with ox slobber, and someone is bound to notice when you try to sneak them back into the knicker drawer afterwards. Also the ox tends to exact revenge by widdling on the grain, resulting in high-notes in the bouquet of the Old Thunderbox Amber Ale that are interesting but not true to style.
The caption "Fig 1" is manifesting in the sky, but this happens most days in New Zealand at about 6.30 p.m. and no-one bats an eyelid. "Meteor schmeteor", we say. Evangeline van Holsteren's idiot boyfriend is excited about the strand of bladderwrack he has found but it IS NOT A FIG, as one can tell from the absence of pollinating wasps of the family Agaonidae. We will take it back to the Old Entomologist and add it to the boil for the Stumblebum Stout for extra flavour. Along with the priapulid worms.


Mandos said...

To a Canadian, the Famous Five refers to people altogether different and responsible for a large amount of dechunderification.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Where's the Fig Newton?

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Working my side of the street again Smut?

el Manquécito said...

Thou shalt not bind the mouth of the ox that treadeth the grain,

Don't the Scots have a saying about that, that it depends on whose ochs be gored?

Substance McGravitas said...

Just look out for Figure 5. That fucker is heavy and will kill you if it falls. On the other hand melt it down and it's worth a fortune.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Where's the Fig Newton?

So, the apple story was incorrect?

mikey said...

I greatly prefer Fig. 1. It's a nearly perfect depiction of a meeting at any Silicon Valley firm. It's 10am on any Wednesday morning.

The product manager is jabbing an accusatory finger at the marketing dweeb, who is offering three hundred gigabytes of clickstream data to support his contention that the most likely convertible user is, in fact, a unicorn.

At the same time, the data analyst is yelling at the marketing dweeb because he's leaving out all the weighting factors and ignoring the time/series analysis from last week.

The DevOps guys are standing off to the side, making fun of everyone and eating the doughnuts, leaving nothing but bagels and cream cheese for anyone else.

The sales director is trying to get someone to look at his humongous anal beads, while the Social Media analyst tries to get someone, ANYONE, to take him seriously.

Trust me on this, nothing important or worthwhile will get done, and everybody will forget the whole thing when it comes time to order lunch...

Smut Clyde said...

Working my side of the street again Smut?

Using REM lyrics for post titles in contravention of ZRM's copyright but HA HA it is legal here!!

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

New Zed is one of them fair use countries: "We stole it, fair and square!"

tigris said...


Smut Clyde said...

The sales director is trying to get someone to look at his humongous anal beads

mikey is unfair. The sales director has only just read that Japanese packaging book on "How to Wrap Five Eggs" and he's rilly excited and trying to interest everyone else, even though they read it years ago and do not see any way to distribute the latest software upgrade in the form of hand-wrapped eggs.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

"Up in the hills, an apparition

You think you're so clever.