Sunday, April 14, 2013

Oh the huge manatee: Just one of our secret weapons

Scenes from this North Korean documentary reveal the secret American plan to invade them with warships and rockets that look like Jimmy Durante.


Evidently someone in the American military is convinced that North Koreans are mortally scared of dead big-nosed comedians -- or perhaps they revere them as godlike figures -- so dressing up weapon systems and assault vessels in this way would demoralise the peace-loving people of the DPRK and scatter all resistance before them like leaves.

They didn't get it from reading Linebarger, is all I'm saying... but these are the master tacticians who decided that The Arab Mind was the best guide for a peaceful occupation of Afghanistan and Iraq, so anything is possible.
Blowing the whistle
These reports led to a veritable spate of investigative journalism (better known as "Look busy, tigris is coming") among the fearless Riddled newshounds. And now we are in a position to blow the whistle and announce that the American running-dog imperialists are preparing 6250 paintings of Jimmy Durante ready to air-drop into the latest victim of their aggression in a crushing blow against morale! What's worse, they are recruiting innocent children to paint them! It sounds unbelievable but here is PHOTOGRAPHIC PROOF.

We say this at great risk to our safety but at Riddled we will not be silenced or intimidated or hardly ever bribed.

To be charitable, this is better than air-dropping incendiary bats. As for air-drops of pigeon burritos, those have been condemned by the World Association of Taco Dealers.

9 comments:

El Manquécito said...

International fusion cuisine (pigeonneau en papillote cooked in a steambox or 'Cuban microwave') is so over.

Also, if pigeon droppings is what you want no instructions necessary; plenty out there for free.

H. Rumbold, Master Barber said...

...this is an awesome sight. The entire rebel resistance buried under six million hardbound copies of "The Naked Lunch."
- The Firesign Theater

mikey said...

A novel approach to squab indeed. Many people would put some time and effort into some preparation in order to avoid eating feathers, pigeon-guts, beaks and those crunchy bird-heads that are such a delicacy in Bora Bora. But not those scamps at Riddled Kitchens & Compost, where the envelope has edges even August Ferdinand Möbius couldn't find...

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Look busy, tigris is coming

How is this not a eusa blog tag?
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ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Hey, I just saw mikey run by!
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Substance McGravitas said...

Evidently someone in the American military is convinced that North Koreans are mortally scared of dead big-nosed comedians -- or perhaps they revere them as godlike figures -- so dressing up weapon systems and assault vessels in this way

They must be ever-vigilant against the facist menace.

Smut Clyde said...

Behold the conkering army.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Needs more Pulgasari.

H. Rumbold, Master Barber said...

Thermonuclear string-propelled chestnuts?