Friday, May 31, 2013

Hey! Hey! White people's feelings are being hurt over here!

Remember the good old days, my friends when New Zilders could walk around secure in the knowledge that brown people were funny, played the guitar and were good at rugby? Most importantly, they knew their place and it wasn't at the front of the line IYKWIM.
Then the blooming 1970's, 80's and so on happened and NZ got all PC and brown people took over the country and it's a cryin' shame.
Now, of course in the ebb and flo (the second album was wack, dudes) of history we have a right thinking Gubblement what has got it in for the poors and good show, we all say. Teach them for the pooring and the like. But some namby pamby socialimist Teevee folks got all bent out of shape because of poor people's idle and feckless children starving. They said the gubblement should give them breakfast at school. In the usual corporatist, product placement, under-the-table deal, manner in which this government works, this has been done.
Luckily a noble cartoonist has taken up the fight for poor oppressed tax -payers and had published two extremely racist and generally nasty cartoons about how the poors will waste their money on beer, cigarettes and gambling. Did you need me to say that most of the people in the cartoons have brown skins?
Google Al Nisbett racist cartoons iffen you want to see them in all their glory.
This has caused an outpouring of wailing and gnashing of teeth like we haven't seen since the Governor-General's tractor, Dennis, was found to be a girl tractor. Mrs. Cat was off her Mackerel Gnocchi in a White Wine Sauce for an hour!
Many, many words have been written on the intertron all about how terrible it is just because a bloke makes a stupid, racist, ignorant and largely pathetic couple of cartoons about how lazy and stupid poor folks are, he gets criticised.
As is my practise I sailed over all of this pretty serenely thinking that if there was anything important I would be informed by the proper authorities. But then, just this very morning we have a piece of shit  resistance by noted scribbler Colin Espiner  who proves beyond reasonable doubt that 1) Cartoons are allowed to be awful and 2) Maoris are awful and the real racists and 3) he's a plonker.
I particularly enjoyed these bonne mots:
But I reckon there was something else at play, too. A little bit of reverse racism,
You know, white people got feelings too and so there!
And I took to my fainting couch at news of:
Al's view - at least how he explained it to Duncan Garner - was that there are plenty of people in this country of all ethnicities who cry poor but actually aren't, at least not by world standards. "A lot of them are overweight and have wide-screen TVs,'' Al told Duncan. 
I'm an unemployed, overweight person with a wide screen TeeVee. Oh Noes!  Do I have to be all reverse racism too? You'd need a special licence for that I guess because you have to use the rear vision mirror. A man sent me an email saying that he could get me one for cheap from Nigeria (still waiting actually Alonso Bryant III).
But the snot on the icing of the cake is the comments on the article. Letter after letter of white butt hurt about "Maoris are being mean"  and "You are SO right, Colin, poors are awful."
 And all we have to do is look at the health figures, the incarceration numbers and the education numbers and we can see what a load of self-pitying wankers these people are; sitting in their white privilege, scolding brown people from behind their nylon lace curtains.
Not for nothing did noted NZ poet J.K.Baxter refer to this as The Pig Islands.


ckc (not kc) said...

I'm "funny", "play" the guitar, have a widish screen TV, and am informed (by a conjugal associate) that "svelte" is no longer on the list - do I have to return my tax refund?

(my meat test asks for ssaoste obedience - I humbly submit)

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

You mean that guy Dennis from Sadly, Non! is really a lady tractor?

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

There's always a d-bag who's perfectly willing to play the race card to angry up the white mouth breathers so they won't notice the white guy who's actually doing the stealing.

Hamish Mack said...

See, now, I thought that the Pink Slug which is featured on a competing blog was a snapshot of Sadly Noh! Dennis.

Hamish Mack said...

Mr Bastard pegs it in his usual correct fashion. There is always someone who will feed the butt hurt.

Smut Clyde said...

the Governor-General's tractor, Dennis, was found to be a girl tractor
Foteaugraphic proof!

Substance McGravitas said...

Those who call for Al Nisbet or the newspapers he works for to apologise for daring to offend people need to take a long, hard look in the mirror and ask themselves what kind of world we'd have if we had a press that provided only bland, inoffensive, easily digestible fare.

And yet my column about forcing Colin Espiner to eat fried portions of his flayed-off skin was rejected.

Hamish Mack said...

I believe that Smut Clyde is showing off his "Holiday Snaps from Ngawi" again. The tattoo with the anchor and the goat is enough, Sir!.
Remember, Sir, I have the photo of your attempt to chat up one the locals

Subby, the NZ herald's continual prejudice against self-cannibalism is nothing short of a scandal and worse than Hitler.

tigris said...

heh heh heh "pegs ... butt hurt"