Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Today's weather report is brought to you by the Nuremberg Chronicle Colour Supplement and Seed Catalogue

A freak fall of hailstones with the faces of lions pelted the Old Town soon after lunchtime, causing widespread damage to skylights, crops and expensive gentleman's headware.
The sky cleared later in the afternoon, only to be darkened by a flock of unnatural birds swooping and diving, causing the closure of the airport and the cancellation of several flights.
A spokesman for the Chamber of Commerce rejected any link to anthropogenic climate change, and argued that witchcraft was more likely to blame. Police are interested in speaking to two artists, Salvador Dali and Bill Hammond.
Mr Dali has prior convictions for sentimental surrealism and giraffe arson.

In other news, the Chamber of Commerce announced that the Council-funded campaign against Living Statue mime artists had been 100% successful. Indeed, our reporters visited the Rathaus Square -- a notorious hotbed of the practice -- and found no sign of living statuary. It appears, however, that the mime offenders have not gone away, or stopped hassling tourists; they have merely switched to the "Mutant-donkey-with-a-dragon-up-the-butt" act as a way of soliciting funds.

Riddled has updated its 'Popeass' animated GIF accordingly.


fish said...


I hear the donkey testicles have a tendency to seize.

El Manquécito said...

Definitely an advance on spray painting oneself silver.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

That's a nice orbs shot in the 1st pic.

Smut Clyde said...

Bonus Orbs for ITTDGY.

Coloured orbs!!