Wednesday, August 6, 2014

One Unpleasaunce is much like another: they differ only in the number and variety of Depressing Things they harbour

When it is Spring in your part of the world and you saunter out blinking into the unfamiliar experience of 'sunlight', only to discover that the garden has run somewhat to seed, we cannot recommend the horticultural services of W. Blake & Sons, Landscapes & Gardening.

1. There seem to be any number of unfamiliar subcontractors wandering around in the undergrowth, and those do not look like OSH-approved protective anti-owwie garments they are wearing. Have I signed a liability waiver? HAVE I BOGROLL.

2. The rose bushes are in a state of desuetude. Mr Blake proposes to treat them with a homeopathic remedy, a 30C dilution of Worm, rather than with suet as I would have expected. "What?" sez I.

"O Rose thou are sick," Mr Blake declaims.
"The invisible worm,
That flies in the night
In the howling storm..."

Under the circumstances, "flying-by-night" was probably not the most elegant choice of words.
Also what about the sick worms? No-one ever thinks of them -- but a worm with a bad case of Rose is a pitiable sight. Even worse than 'waterlily sign'.


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

You can't fool me. That's the head of a transparent flying shark in the last picture on the right.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

That man is clearly breaking a cardinal rule: always protect your junk.

Smut Clyde said...

Image of "He (disappears into silence)" (Seraphine Pick, 2004) replaced with my own higher-rez scan because reasons.

rhwombat said...

Ooh. An hydatid. Last one like that that I saw was in a marsh arab - a refugee from Saddam Hussein's regime who was banged up in one of Little Johnny Howard's gulags. It got better though.

Smut Clyde said...

Well-done that wombat. Without the Gazoogle I would never have learned that "waterlily in the lung" was a real thing outside of Boris Vian novels.