Sunday, June 26, 2016

Making silver linings out of sow's ears

Just look at the bollocks some opinionator wrote for a NZ weekend fishwrap, and was understandably too embarrassed to sign a name to:

The claim that
Boris Johnson moved to take power in Britain last night as he assembled a dream team to renegotiate relations with Europe and the world
is perhaps bleed-through from an alternative time-line, or was written well in advance and then forcibly adapted to circumstances, since the "dream team" turns out to amount to BoJo himself, plus Gove. That is to say, a pair of career pundits in search of more lucrative political careers who resent expertise and who can't be arsed planning how to exit through their own front doors, let alone from the EU. I suppose "world of fantasy" is a kind of dream.
Planned exits: Much over-rated
And then there was this exercise in consolation:
NZ Initiative executive director Oliver Hartwich said there were potential benefits for Kiwis, but we shouldn’t expect anything to happen overnight.
Hartwich said it could become a lot easier for New Zealanders with a travel bug to nab themselves a visa – but this all depended on who took over from Cameron.
‘‘Should it be Boris, he’s gone on and on about making it easier for Kiwis to go to the UK,’’ Hartwich said.
‘‘If you’re hoping for better visa availability, you should definitely be in the Boris Johnson boat.’’
Because if there's one thing we know about Johnson, is that he's a man of his word.
[Right]: Victorious Johnson as
depicted by SST journamalist
[Left]: Actuality. Reporters seek
interview; Johnson not to be found


Another Kiwi said...

Good Lord, what a pile of steaming excrement. The reason for Twitter is so that we can read about stuff that happens and get better analysis in about 1/1000 th of the words. Or baby animal pictures. I am particularly impressed by how they got "assembling a dream team" out of "we don't actually have a plan".
Luckily the Blairite faction of the Labour party is going to use this an opportunity to bugger up their own party for a year or two more, because they are middle white guys who no one listens to anymore.

Smut Clyde said...

In the Sunday Star-Times time-line, Johnson was out there seizing the levers of power and assembling his ace team of negotiators and advisers. In our time-line, he went into hiding in a Witless Protection scheme.
It is as if the SST editor wrote the whole thing days in advance, and was too shit-faced over the weekend to make more than minimal revisions to recognise reality.

Another Kiwi said...

Upvoting for "Witless Protection". I hope they remember to keep putting corks on the tines of his fork at dinner time.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...


Another Kiwi said...

Even in the cringe inducing annals of political nicknames, Bojo is ball sac clenchingly bad.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

With the value of the pound tanking, at least Marmite prices will drop.

rhwombat said...

Marmite futures? I'm going back into the Vegemite smuggling game. By the time you've tasted it -it's too late.