Shooting for the stars

Ha ha, that jolly old Mikhail Lhaws brings his shootin' boots to the party. This sort of crazed bullshit is dangerous. I realise that I am an over-sensitive humourless liberal but that is just dangerous shit. A radio person shouldn't make jokes about shooting journalists because, even though some of them are a waste of time, some of them are not. Some have families and shit and they will, if of a young age, possibly be upset when Mum or Dad is shot at work.
Of course I should realise that Micturation Lhaws is a shock jock and makes a living out of his cheeky in-your-face-take no prisoners-piss liberals off-whore his arse out for ratings-style.
I just have that picture in my mind of an office after a shooting rampage with blood smeared all over the place and people screaming and I think, you know, are 2 ratings points worth it?
I guess sociopaths see the world differently than I do.
UPDATE: Laws off radio yesterday and today.

Role modeling

October 2009:

He might not have the comb-over, but millionaire Wellington property developer Terry Serepisos is to be New Zealand's answer to Donald Trump.

The Phoenix football team owner has been chosen as the host of a local version of The Apprentice. The reality-TV show, an international hit with Trump as host, pits teams of aspiring entrepreneurs against each other.

Terry Serepisos is spending a lot of time in courts pleading for a postponement of his bankruptcy for just one more week when that $6-million cheque will arrive, and another week, and another.

So far he has not announced his intention of running for the Presidency.

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As noted earlier, Don Brash has taken over leadership of the ACT Party so we don't have Rodney Hide to kick around any more.
At some point Brash has promised to actually join the party, ideally before the next election when he will be campaigning against the National Party to which he currently belongs.
Fortunately no opinion polls have been taken to gauge whether voters have more respect for low rat cunning ruthlessness than for loyalty, so journalists can speculate about how many seats the rejuvenated party will win come the election, unconstrained by cold unsympathetic facts.

John Banks -- another old National Party member who left national politics a few years ago in order to be rejected by voters in a couple of mayoralty elections -- has announced that he will also run against National under the banner of the ACT Party.

It can only be a matter of time before Michael Laws joins them as well.

Canadian Mounted, baby; Police force at work

The train station? No problem, we'll be there in no time. Notice how the reins double up as harp-strings so you can play Hindemith's Harp Sonata as we travel. German technology, you gotta love it.

A and B? That'll be some community policing in action.
Which reminds me, did you read about the Smith-Voorkamp case in the paper? Some guy with Aspergers goes wandering around the ruins after the big quake, doing Aspie things, and when the police pick him up they decide he is a looter so they administer a bit of biffo in the cells.

That inspires that douchenozzle Michael Lhaws* to direct his Sunday-rag column at Smith-Voorkamp's appearance, with added ridicule for Aspergers Syndrome as apparently something invented by liberal bleaters to avoid blaming people for badness, plus generally defending the idea that a night in police custody should entail a few bruises and a black eye and "He fell down the stairs, Your Honour".

Of course Lhaws' columns are always defending someone in power -- or looking for new minorities to hate, the more powerless the better (because having no social clout is a form of weakness so another good reason to despise them) -- or both. If I were a pop psychologist instead of a taxi driver I would marvel how much he must loath himself, for him to put so much effort into locating targets for scorn whose inadequacies make himself look better in comparison.**

We have two basic attitudes in New Zealand. The people at the bottom of the heap are all ACAB, and accept that falling into the hands of the constabulary will probably mean a beating. And the people at the top expect the police to beat up dodgy suspects as part of their job description, because you can't trust the bleeding-heart judges and the politically-correct juries with their insistence on "innocence" and "justice" to do the right thing. No, three basic attitudes -- sandwiched between there's a middle-class stratum who insist that a belief in the integrity of the police is a vital part of the duct-tape that holds society together. The worst thing is for people with black eyes to accuse the constables of violence, but then fail to follow through with a formal complaint, because this erodes the fragile shared convention. No, really.

Here we are, mate. That'll be $15.70. No need for a tip, but the peacock will certainly appreciate any crumbs you might have in your pocket.

Memo to self: Keep using the Peccatum taxi service in the future. It's amazing how much the driver agrees so well with all the things I was thinking and looking for a way to say.

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* One of our larger-souled readers once pointed out the better sides of Michael's character and his capacity to rise above himself, and invited us to recognise his potential to become less of an arsehole. We promised to lay off until he became an arsehole again.

** Case in point: Having left Parliament against his will under a cloud of forged signatures, Laws wrote two books depicting all other politicians as scheming, back-stabbing, low-life despicable bastriges.


Michael Laws has an invitingly bare chest but we do not stoop to providing drag-&-drop spiders for the readers to festoon him with.

We may be losing The Hobbit overseas but at least we still have Michael Lhaws

When Michael announced in June that he would be standing down as mayor of Whanganui in order to spend more time with his families, great was the despondency across the length and breadth across New Zealand, especially among the occupants of neighbouring towns, who have often consoled themselves with the thought that they couldn't be the biggest knobheads in the country as long as Whanganui kept re-electing him.

But it's all right; he is now a Whanganui district Councillor, and is sending out if anything more press releases than he emitted when still the mayor, most of them denying the legitimacy of Annette Main, his replacement. He had previously anointed his deputy mayor to be his hand-picked successor [Michael Laws has previous experience with sock-puppets], while welcoming Main's candidacy as "giv[ing] people a clear choice for October", so he was not well-pleased when voters chose the wrong way.

Compared to the super-majority landslide victory of 43% he himself won back in his first mayoral campaign back in 2004,

"Annette Main, with 36 per cent of the vote, has no mayoral mandate," he told the Wanganui Chronicle. [...]
Mr Laws said he had not heard from Ms Main since Saturday's election.
"It is the job of the incoming mayor to contact councillors - not the other way round - and I performed that same role in 2004 and 2007."

NO-ONE PUTS BABY IN A CORNER. ATTENTION MUST BE PAID.

Michael has promised to "work with anyone, elected or unelected, who is dedicated to the best interests of Wanganui"; this sounds vaguely as if he will set up a Council-in-Exile in conjunction with the rejected councillors and mayoral candidates, but perhaps he has something more benign in mind.

Suspicious minds are already betting on how long it will take him to set up Facebook pages under a range of false names to rally opposition to the illegitimate Main regime.

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Recent outbreaks of Lhaws-related hilarity include his announcement to the media back in August about his relationship with an unsuitable woman from another social class, in which he claimed that a nebulous left-wing conspiracy was about to release details of their time together and copies of the salacious texts* they exchanged (in order to destroy his non-existent political career), thus obliging him to step in first and release the details preemptively. She was not well-pleased.

* Really, no-one wants to read the details of Michael Laws' sex-life. Particularly not this:

Meanwhile, a mystery brunette caused a stir when appearing to perform an intimate act on Laws at the table in a posh Auckland restaurant while he dined with several media stars.
Onlookers were shocked at their actions at Toto restaurant in central Auckland last year.
The encounter took place in May last year at a dinner attended by Marcus Lush, Martin Devlin, Willie Jackson, John Tamihere, Maggie Barry, Karyn Hay and then-Mediaworks boss Brent Impey.
[...]
Those seated at the same table as Laws were said to be aware the act was taking place but ignored it as they didn't want to make a scene.

My fan letters, to me, are the best ones.

Michael Laws the mayor of  my hometown, not where I live now, I hasten to add, has graced this blog before. It appears that he may have some flunky writing in praise of him, at his own website, in the usual  bumper sticker manner.
the important bit is:

Mr Laws resigned from Parliament in 1996 after admitting he had lied about a Napier City Council poll he had organised.
The poll was signed off by fictitious character Antoinette Beck, who was later revealed to be Mr Laws' parliamentary secretary, Louise Sampson.

Oh dear, can't teach an old dog new tricks eh?
Mind you these emails have less swearing and threatening language than the last lot that we read from Laws so maybe they really are not his.

The enema of my enema is my Freud

The story so far:
(1) A couple of allegedly notable people are charged with sexual offenses. Courts order that their names should not be published (on account of the innocent-until-proven-guilty business), nor those of the alleged victims.
(2) A NZ blogger publishes their names anyway.
(3) Police charge him with breaching the name suppression orders.

The blogger in question (a libertarian climate-change-denialist evidence-cherry-picking wanker who has made pugnacity into a substitute for a personality) responded to the charges by publishing more names, causing the police to speculate about further contempt-of-court and perverting-course-of-justice charges. So it's him on one side and the police on the other. To misquote Substance McG, the nice thing about this kind of court case is that at least one side has to lose.

These would be the same protecting-the-rights-of-the-accused police department who spent the end of 2007 leaking 156 pages of suppressed wire-tap evidence to supportive newspapers, in order to make the people mentioned in the wire-taps sound like terrorists, after the Solicitor-General found the evidence to be so shonky that actual 'terrorism' charges against said people had to be dropped.*

I am boring our non-NZ readers with this stuff mainly to prove that we do have our own homegrown wankers, so when we mock overseas wankers it is out of politeness rather than necessity.
Also it's an excuse to use the Martial Laws tag. Ex-MP and all-round rat-bag Michael Laws has come out against name suppression, at least when used to protect an ex-MP, because it "places all ex-MPs under suspicion and that is unconscionable."

* The police did lay face-saving replacement charges, with the idea that they will eventually be abandoned for unreasonable delay, since they are not due for a court hearing until nearly four years after the initial arrests.

An intervention is needed

The reader will recall the last visit we had with the mayor of Wanganui, NZ, Michael Laws. I, rather unkindly, suggested that he needed help. This has been confirmed
The Wanganui port is a decaying wreck and probably has been ignored for decades due to the dangerous river mouth just along from the docks and the death of coastal shipping in NZ. The company that owns the port wants the Wanganui City Council to stump up money for a refurbishment. Mayor Laws wants nothing to do with it and has written an email to the head of the port company to explain his position.

“You are a lying shit,” he says in the email.

Which must be code for "We have disagreement with you on where the money should come from'

“I don’t know if you’re simply a fool or a stooge.

Which may really mean "I think we need to consider our legal position carefully in this matter"

I look forward to exposing your lies and duplicity in the national media and have the paper trail to prove your villainy.”

which probably means "I think that we can work together to resolve our differences in a manner that will benefit the ratepayers of Wanganui."

Mummy, make the bad man go away

Can't you liberals take a joke?

One of the more loathsome people in our national discourse is the Mayor of Wanganui, Michael Laws. Talk Radio host and former MP he is never short of cheeky bon mot about how the underclass should be sterilised so that they don't clutter up society with their countless spawn. Here but, of course,now, he says he didn't say it.

Rather than suggesting paying people to get sterilised, Laws says he in fact suggested that “it would be far better for this appalling underclass to be offered financial inducements not to have children”.

Oh, the perils of not engaging the brain before letting the rabid extremist express, leave the siding. But then we have the classic New Zild politician dodge, "It's the media. Just because I was advocating eugenics and still do but more politely, they pick on me"
I believe that it is not fair and a Liberal plot as any fule know.
Still Mr. Laws is under some pressure these days as the ombudsman awards certificates to school children who wrote impolite letters to him, QUESTIONING HIS AUTHORITAH!!!