Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Thursday Skull Blogging #2

For some people, Graham Greene's A Burnt-out Case is primarily a novel about an architect. For others it's about an atheistic doctor with a mordant sense of humour. I focussed on other aspects:
"There is an old Danish doctor still going the rounds who became a leprologist late in life. By accident. He was excavating an ancient cemetery and found skeletons there without fingerbones -- it was an old leper-cemetery of the fourteenth century. He X-rayed the skeletons and he made discoveries in the bones, especially in the nasal area, which were quite unknown to any of us -- you see most of us haven't the chance to work with skeletons. He became a leprologist after that. You will meet him at any international conference on leprosy carrying his skull with him in an airline's overnight bag. It has passed through a lot of douaniers' hands. It must be rather a shock, that skull, to them, but I believe they don't charge duty on it." (p. 113)
The Danish expert was of course Vilhelm Møller-Christensen, and the story is more-or-less true, though a lot of the time he was passing through customs with a whole string-bag of skulls, not just one. He later became friends with Greene and they sent one another signed copies of their books.*

My next blockbuster-novel-in-the-tradition-of-Dan-Brown will revolve around Møller-Christensen's collection of leprotic skulls. It will also feature the Knights of Saint Lazarus (not as well-known as the Knights-Templar, but far more interesting), who are locked in a conspiratorial battle with the collection's present-day custodians in order to re-capture the skull of Robert the Bruce (purloined and smuggled out of Scotland by Møller-Christensen to become the jewel in his collection, under shady circumstances involving bribery and a hollow bowling-ball). In the climactic scene they force entry to the underground sanctuary where the skulls are kept, but make away with the skull of Egil Skallagrimsson** by mistake, on account of believing the elaborate glass case containing it to be a sign of its royal significance. Then they all contract Paget's Syndrome from handling it, and die. The end.

* E.g. the Encyclopedia of Bible Creatures.
** Acquired for the collection on account of its unusual shape and described in Møller-Christensen's unfinished magnum opus, "Studies for a New Phrenology".

13 comments:

ckc (not kc) said...

The leper knights were protected by a number of able-bodied knights but in times of crisis the leper knights themselves would take up arms.

No comment

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

send me a rough draft so I can look for zombies in it.

Substance McGravitas said...

If the skulls aren't crystal you don't get Spielberg.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

send me a rough draft so I can look for zombies in it.

Now, now, given that the knights are named for Lazarus, it stands to reason that the order is composed of zombie knights who use the cover of leprosy to avoid attacks from prejudicial breathers.

The novel must include a scene in which the protagonist uses Egil's skull to deflect the bullets fired at him by the heavies.

ckc (not kc) said...

zombie knights who use the cover of leprosy

...that's some subtle - have you talked to DoD?

Smut Clyde said...

They are waiting for their Leper Messiah.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

...that's some subtle - have you talked to DoD?

Not yet, but I imagine it'll net me gajillions of dollars, and what could possibly go wrong?

They are waiting for their Leper Messiah.

David Bowie is a Knight of Lazarus?

More on the Leper Messiah:

http://www.chaim.org/leper.htm

"arramcod"- a fish that is used to load a musket, also a VPR

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

have you talked to DoD?

Delicious or Disgusting?

mikey said...

From what I've heard from the time travelers, the skull of Robert the Bruce was in the possession of William Walker at the time of the first battle of Rivas. When he was executed five years later, the location of the skull was unknown, and has remained so.

There are, however, persistent rumors that when Henry Berry Lowry emptied the Sheriff's safe and disappeared in the winter of 1872, there was more than just the reward money in there. The skull, according to these rumors, has remained with the Lumbee in the Carolina swamps to this day...

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

The skull, according to these rumors, has remained with the Lumbee in the Carolina swamps to this day...

Unless Prescott S. Bush brought it to his lair in New Haven.

nedecola- subliminal advertising

mikey said...

Oh my. I'd give my eyeteeth (Hey Bimler, do I actually HAVE eyeteeth?) to see the skull n bones crowd stack up against the best gunfighters in the history of history (I'm leaving open the possibility that Clyde Barrow was the BEST gunfighter in history, because, well, different eras. Babe Ruth, Barry Bonds, y'know?), but I'm thinking that they'd adjust their tie and wet themselves....

Smut Clyde said...

the leper knights themselves would take up arms.

The thing with the Order of Saint Lazarus is that noone realises the full extent of their activities. Since they lowered their profile and went undercover, they've been infiltrating commercial enterprises -- legal as well as illegal ones -- until their financial empire encompasses the globe.

You could say that they have a finger in every pie.

ckc (not kc) said...

And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose


...which saint was that, again?