Monday, February 22, 2010

Your android replica is playing up again

Awareness of the mechanical abilities of classical Greek civilisation is slowly growing, but even today people still tend to think of the Greeks as abstract, impractical philosophers, not appreciating their interest in technology.

Here we see the first known sex-bot, constructed by the philosopher Aristotle using Heron's recently-invented steam turbine to power a sophisticated system of gearwheels. Before sealing her artificial integument, he checks whether the reboot lever moves freely. I have no idea why it has a human head, and I certainly hope it's a reboot lever.*

No-one could have possibly predicted that a reboot lever sealed up the within the body cavity was hard to access in the event of a programming error. Aristotle was only able to escape from his creation when its supply of compressed natural gas for the turbine ran out.** It was confiscated by Aristotle's pupil Alexander and destroyed, though parts of the animating mechanisms were retrieved from the sea in 1900.

* The urge to decorate control levers with human heads appears to be universal.
** Novelty-teapot depiction of the unhappy debacle here.

6 comments:

Substance McGravitas said...

* The urge to decorate control levers with human heads appears to be universal.

Who knew a pike was a control lever?

3d電影 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Nice dispatch and this post helped me a plethora on my collage half assignment. Gratefulness shall rain upon you for the remainder of your daze.
~

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Who knew a pike was a control lever?

depends on the operator.


Pah. Levers. All the cool zombies are using solid state.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Here we see the first known sex-bot, constructed by the philosopher Aristotle using Heron's recently-invented steam turbine to power a sophisticated system of gearwheels.

Pygmalion 2.0

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Aristotle was only able to escape from his creation when its supply of compressed natural gas for the turbine ran out.**

Would this explain the Pythagorean injunction against consuming beans?

Sorry for the double-post, but it had to be said.