Wednesday, March 31, 2010

You say potato and I say evironmental vandalism and cronyism.

Violent crime has risen in the past calendar year, despite the Government's focus on law and order...
Police minister Judith Collins comments
She says methamphetamine and inter-generational welfare dependency are some of the factors behind the crime rate.
AND
From May, transport operators can apply for a permit for vehicles to carry nine tonnes more than the current 44-tonne weight limit. Permits will be granted for heavier loads in specific instances.

The Government says allowing heavier trucks on the roads will increase gross domestic product by more than $150 million.
AND
The legislation that will result in Canterbury's regional councillors being replaced with a panel of commissioners has been passed under urgency on Wednesday.
The law change allows for the appointment of the panel, which will have judicial and democratic oversight of the Canterbury Regional Council.
AND
We've got to get away from this idea that somehow we have to protect one-third of New Zealand for a certain constituency and put it in a jar of formaldehyde and leave it." Mark Quickfall, managing director of Totally Tourism, an umbrella company for several tourism operations, said initially the "100 per cent pure" brand referred to the New Zealand experience rather than environmental purity.
"If we say it's 100 per cent pure [environmentally], we set ourselves up to fail," he said.

AND 
Whangarei MP Phil Heatley says he is glad he has been given a second chance to prove himself as a Cabinet minister.
Mr Heatley is to be reinstated, after resigning in February for misusing his ministerial credit card on several occasions.

I mean, really. When are the people of New Zild going to wake up to the fact that they live in a big factory? We need more roads, more mines, less oversight of local government and Ministers who are "creative" with their expense accounts.
The reason why it's a violent society is because YOU don't have a job and your dad didn't either.
This is all YOUR fault and if you weren't wacked out on drugs all of the time and had a job things would be better.
To make up for YOUR idleness and drug taking we are going to have to dig up the national parks to get some gold and such. FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.
With such high pressure work with so much at stake, it is not surprising that Ministers might slip up with the ole Credit Card now and again and we should allow them to rehabilitate themselves, it was for WINE, NOT DRUGS!!!

35 comments:

Unknown said...

Thank you AK, every generation needs a wake up call from one such a you on matters concerning the greatness of our leaders and the wisdom of their loving ways.
We are ingrates and we need to be punished.

fachpoqt, an evil utterance at an elucidated factoid.

fish said...

The NZ government has issued a statement proclaiming that in terms of purity, they will no longer calculate percentages to the one tenth decimal place. They will round up to the nearest integer.

M. Bouffant said...

This will all work out. The meth-users (w/ attractive chain accessories) can be put to work maintaining the soon-to-be-impassable roads.

Probably what's been in mind all along.

Unknown said...

I for one support The Great Leap Forward utilizing convict labour and the starving of children and whores.
Quo Vadis!
xactic, why yes I am!

Smut Clyde said...

Fuck those fucking fuckers.

In particular, fuck those fuckers in the fucking "tourist industry" with their insistence on calling themselves an 'industry' as if they created something, rather than selling meretricious packaged experiences and parasitising a country to which they contribute nothing. Fuck any spokesman for a tourism operators who talks about trampers and like-minded New Zealanders as "a certain constituency" as if his corporate-welfare-supported sector of the economy are the only real representatives of the country.

And fuck the diary-farming industry, who called on favours to have the Canterbury Regional Council replaced with an appointed board simply because the CRC was not allowing diary farmers to take all the water they wanted from the rivers of the region (their farms being unprofitable unless subsidised by free provision with water that would otherwise be swum in or fished in or drunk by citydwellers downstream).

I think that's all for now.

mikey said...

Jeez, why's Another Kiwi YELLING at me? I'm sorry I don't have a job so I take drugs and live on the dole and my dad was a deadbeat and shit. Cut me a little slack, man.

On the other hand, I'm very grateful to His Smuttiness for teaching me where diaries come from. I honestly had no idea they were grown on farms. Oddly, they don't seem to be seasonal...

Smut Clyde said...

In addition, fuck those journalistic shites who've turned crime rates into the touchstone of a government's performance; fuck any opportunistic bottom-feeding douche of a minister who invokes the tired trope of "inter-generational welfare dependency" as a scapegoat for the media-driven moral panic; and fuck that sector of the population who combine stupidity with a kind of free-floating unfocused resentment, so they support any politicians who offer them a target like "welfare dependents" for their 5-minute hate.

And fuck the Labour politicians who've pandered to that sector of the population for so many years.

Smut Clyde said...

where diaries come from. I honestly had no idea they were grown on farms

I was overwrought.
OK, back to being underwrought now.
It's difficult achieving just the right level of wroughtness.

Hamish Mack said...

Just don't wrought the system is all we ask.
Hope I didn't bug you, Mikey, I wouldn't want to bug you.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

We've got to get away from this idea that somehow we have to protect one-third of New Zealand for a certain constituency and put it in a jar of formaldehyde and leave it

We also have to deregulate the use of formaldehyde!

You two write as if you live in a unique, irreplacable ecosystem that is characterized by endemic, enigmatic creatures found nowhere else... why can't you just embrace the Free Market, which will better serve the "needs" of your so-called "tuataras" and "kakapos"?

Unknown said...

You make me nervous...inadequate...show me where I can get RE-PROGRAMMED!
I want to be part of this contituencyismist thingy, show me, please please I want to know what it feels like to wail on others and be part of a group of fence ma in cowmen, with hats, naturally, loads of hats and hairy noses and and fists...and stuff.

soffilli, adjective...as in, we stole your water soffilli.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Jeeesh!

Next thing you know, you guys and gals will be afflicted with your own astroturfed teabagger moovement.
~

Unknown said...

Is that what I need to do to join? /serious question/

bable, wellllllllll

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

The group needs an attention-grabbing and ultimately hilarious name, merc.

I'm sure with all the brainpower we can harness here, something suitable will be produced.
~

Unknown said...

It's fine, I'm a mindless joiner, I'll join anything, especially if I hear the words constituency and witch burnin'
unroid, yeah you know...

Hamish Mack said...

Merc, me old daemon. One doesn't join, one gets joined.
To be literal though, I would guess that one would have to be in with like-minded individuals, in this case, Outdoors users , and then express an opinion about something.
Then the power-that-is, in whatever field one is talking about, labels you a constituency, and implies that you are being greedy.
Thus you can safely be ignored and real greedy people can get their just rewards.

Unknown said...

SHOW ME THE MONEYYYYYYYYY!!!! (and the pointy hats)

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

That's not quite how the teabagger party works over here, A.K.

In this case, a confused bunch of folks get encouragement from FAUX Nooze and Republican consultants to run around squawking about the Constitution and other things they don't understand.

All to support health insurance company profits, and the elimination of Social Security, etc. Which means most of the teabaggers would die in the gutter, but they're real passionate about it.

So they get endless coverage and pandering from the corporate press.
~

Hamish Mack said...

Well young Thunder me lad, one has to apply the rules of sanity to the cases of the persons who are being labeled a constituency and assess the relative nutso-ness of their claims.
In these cases Tree-huggers vs frothing at the mouth persons. And, of course ,they are constituencies, people who share ideas and may vote in relation to that idea. There is actually nothing bad about being a constituency as such, it is the nutso factor of the constituency's belief that we must examine before donning the pointy hats.

Unknown said...

I just want my cut and I'm prepared to sell my vote and you for it.

reati; overly expressive rat

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I'd like to see a picture of the pointy hats in question.

1) Hats

2) Hats

3) Hats

I'm fine with 1), have a strong objection to 2), and as for 3), I support the concept, but don't have the legs to go with it.
~

Unknown said...

The knitwear wins, we get the convict slaves, the kids and the whores to knit them, outdoors. The tourists can watch and maybe throw fruit.
I am on fire today Gerry, John, Judy and Bill!!!

ecollept; a sleepy field thief.

mikey said...

Hmm. It is a challenge, all wrapped up in a conundrum. Considering how the yankee teabaggers decided on their tribal identification, that is, a historical event of vandalism and terrorism by a small band of angry insurgents who dressed in such a manner as to deflect suspicion away from their participation, and who's actions took on something of a life of their own and ultimately, in parallel with a number of other near-simultaneous events led to the Revolutionary War, I'd like to suggest a similar approach to your own misguided and manipulated heartland.

Let's go with the "Potato Musketeers"....

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Let's go with the "Potato Musketeers"....

I think you're on something here, mikey. But should they go with "Musketeers" when "Hobbits" is available?
~

Unknown said...

You'all don't understand me...I don't want a little club, I WANT TO RULE YOU with my unelected mates positioned in local councils while you watch police chief Wiggim state that he is surprised by violent crime.
OBEY!

mikey said...

But Thunder, the "Musket Wars" actually happened, and they are part of New Z's history that can be co-opted and lied about endlessly.

Hobbits are a recent, fictional development that doesn't play as well into the national zeitgeist....

Hamish Mack said...

Potato Hobbits?
Not very scary, just sayin'

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Hobbits are a recent, fictional development that doesn't play as well into the national zeitgeist....

Agreed. On the other hand, the teabaggers is so damned fake, I think hobbits would be the best parallel for N.Z., especially if one is looking for a "grass roots" moovement that is all about sucking up to the aristocracy.
~

Unknown said...

Look, I'm going to say this calmly and paternally like John would. You don't seem to be able to understand that it is not necessary for you to do anything. It is all in hand by us, your leaders.
Now, stop wasting time being unhelpful to the Great Leap Forwards Backwoods (GLFP)or we shall have pay you a visit with our newly empowered JK SIS Special Elite Armored Squad (newly formed).
Do you get me?

ovulsi, many many eggs smashed.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Another Kiwi said...

Potato Hobbits?
Not very scary, just sayin'

March 31, 2010 6:44 PM


Potato Hobbits of Doom.

PhD, gnome what I'm saying?
~

Smut Clyde said...

Perhaps ITTDGY would prefer this hat.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I like that hat a lot, S.C.

What sum are you willing to accept in exchange?
~

fish said...

Hobbits are a recent, fictional development

Wait, WHAT!?!?!

tigris said...

Smut should get a job with the tourist board, because I am SOLD.

tigris said...

We've got to get away from this idea that somehow we have to protect one-third of New Zealand for a certain constituency and put it in a jar of formaldehyde and leave it.

Nice. I hope this gets carved on his tombstone. Made of POOP.