Friday, March 5, 2010

Zorbital velocity

The Zorb is another invention that people credit to New Zealanders. In fact it was first designed by Leonardo da Vinci, though the Vatican don't want you to know that.
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UPDATE: Zorbs need orbs.



BONUS UPDATE:
Every day, more and more people are reporting a variant of the "Zorb Dream". Psychologists are baffled by this trend. Another Kiwi was unavailable for comment.

13 comments:

Hamish Mack said...

Leonardo's other great suppressed invention was the theme song for the Zorb. Whilst adding the traditional beard and glasses to the man in the middle, Lenny reached for a nourishing snack of salted pineapple and apple flavoured herring, and set his sleeve a'fire on a trouser press he was 'perfecting' (trying to stop blowing up.)
"Zounds" he is reported to have exclaimed "Yon sleeve does burn and is spreading like wildfire to the Zorb" Pausing only to write his new metaphor down backwards and upside down for copyright purposes in the antipodes,he threw the smouldering Zorb down the specially constructed highway overpass, which, truth to tell was a little redundant.
"Look out," he shouted "this wheels on fire, rolling down the road. Notify your next of kin, It's not looking good". "Oh never mind" he said from behind the Aspidistra "Like everything sodding else, it's exploded"

Smut Clyde said...

It's tempting to add trails of flame to the zorb but that looks like work.
That RB guy would know a quick way of doing it, if he were still around.

Substance McGravitas said...

It's tempting to add trails of flame to the zorb but that looks like work.

And how! The demons are cranky when summoned for such piddling work and demand extra sacrifices.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

How does he keep his junk from flopping all over the place?

Substance McGravitas said...

Concept it may be too hard to implement:

GHOST ZORBER.

Kathleen said...

I thought they were Greek.

Smut Clyde said...

Another concept: Leonardo's "Vitruvian Grannie".

Substance McGravitas said...

Look at this man. His life is over.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

GHOST ZORBER.

Nicholas Cage is sure to star in the movie version- d00d needs some serious cashiola to stay afloat.

WV-comyho... teabagger sign slurring Hilary Clinton.

Smut Clyde said...

Look at this man. His life is over.
His life is just BEGINNING, though I remain unconvinced that there is any actual need for a remake / sequel of "The Boy in the Plastic Bubble".

mikey said...

Wow. His life IS over. And yet he stands, insulated from the despair, contemplating his life from a place beyond it's end.

How futile it all looks now, from this insulated, enclosed, protected place of observation. Why strive? Why fight the good fight - or, for that matter, the poorly defined and pathetically executed fight?

Why fall in love, pick flowers, gambol in the sunshine, brachiate through the living room? What is gained, what could be the point, the purpose?

From the vantage of the Zorb-Driven life, all else is like a black and white cartoon projected on an old bedsheet hung from the fire escape in the back of a crumbling brownstone in Indianapolis...

ckc (not kc) said...

...From the vantage of the Zorb-Driven life, all else is like a black and white cartoon projected on an old bedsheet hung from the fire escape in the back of a crumbling brownstone in Indianapolis...

...until you have to pee

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

When European
The zorb that you see in
Isn't so great
~