Thursday, April 29, 2010

National Act Like a Jack Vance Character Day Pt. II

Is Hratnu a game, or a form of duel? Perhaps it is both; perhaps neither. Among the Plaxty it is a way of life; it has always been thus and the Plaxty see no good reason to change.

Brett is dressed for a holmgang of hratnu. He will catch the quoit with his horns, and as the cry of "Quoitus Interruptus!" roars from the throats of the audience he will count coup upon his foe's plastron, that contumacious blaggard. He may get over-excited so don't drink from the river downstream from him, is all I'm saying.

Dour are the Fuglemen of Scutch, as if the sullenness of the bats they trap and train has imbued their souls with rancour.* All the wrongness of the world weighs down on their shoulders but they have no words to speak of their grief so silent they must remain, or converse among themselves in an almost inaudible high-pitched twittering. Another Kiwi has donned the garb of a Fugleman -- the shaggy breeches, the padded shagreen waistcoat -- and now he too is dour. His heart rankles with half-remembered wrongs from long ago, and with a growing suspicion that they duped him at the Furry shop and fobbed him off with mismatched scraps of garmentry. That will teach him not to leave it to the last moment to go shopping for his NALAJVC-Day costume.

* Battery -- like Falconry but more noctural -- is the favoured sport of the aristocrats of Scutch. They rely on lower castes such as the Fuglemen to catch the wild bats and prepare them to hunt from the arm.

8 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I am surprised (but nevertheless, unchagrined) by the absence of the Wormwood Beer tag.
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mikey said...

I'm ok with the skull n crossbones tat, kinda lame but makes a well-recognized point. The tat below it, of the sneezing indian warrior with a runny nose, on the other hand, well, that's just weird.

Also, y'know, I thought Hamilton Beech had discontinued that "Futuristic" series of irons and stand mixers, and maybe they have, but why is this guy wearing one on his HEAD?

It's interesting, the varying mores and morality of different cultures. Here's a dood with his lizard-boobs covered up, wearing long sleeves, and his WANG is out. Dood. Seriously. That thing is freakin me out. I'm thinking that you could really please a lady lizard with that junk AND a tail. Woo, y'know?

WOO...

Smut Clyde said...

the absence of the Wormwood Beer tag.
The beer fridge was completely cleaned out of psychotropic homebrew, not that I'm accusing anyone.

Substance McGravitas said...

All the wrongness of the world weighs down on their shoulders

The saddest apple is the pineapple.

Another Kiwi said...

Harumph! Mr. Alinsky from Alinksy's Emporium of Furry Delight assured me that this costume would "impress persons of a female persuasion." Even though we get the group discount I am not sure that we should patronize his establishment no more.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Mr. Alinsky from Alinksy's Emporium of Furry Delight...

Ah, you must have purchased his "Rules for Rabbiticals".

You'd have done better had you gone with the more popular "Rules for Radicals".
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ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I can't help but note the similar foot structure.
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Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

The Fugelman must employ both stealth and bravado, guile and gutsiness. A top-flight Fugelman is fleet of foot, deft of hand, lightsome of tongue... a nonesuch.