Thursday, April 22, 2010

She's as beautiful as a foot

Once again we are forced to decry the cynical exploitation of furries. This time it is Weta Inc. -- the shame of Wellington -- who are caught pandering to the impulses of the most vulnerable sector of our population. For only US$945 a pair they are peddling 'leg extensions' designed
to resemble a digitigrade leg, from canine and feline to fantastical demons, dragons, satyrs and even robots. They allow for realistic and natural movement as they are jointed at the knee and the ankle.
Weta may well claim that these are
professional grade reverse leg stilt for creature and costume performances in movies, television, theatre, circus, street performances and other creative performances
but such unnatural devices clearly have no legitimate application apart from appealing to the prurient fantasies of people who cannot control their perverse and insatiable compulsions --
No, wait, wrong image.

I for one am shocked and disgusted by the prurient fantasies to which these unnatural devices are meant to appeal --

Feck and buggrit, can't find the right image. Time to clear up the hard drive. Anyway, here's a link to a demonstration.
Riddled already acquires most of its hits via Google from people searching for "furry porn snuff video", so we might as well run with it.

Bonus musical Youtube clip of relevance to my interests the topic: Give my regards to Sergeant Furry.

Bonus bonus speculation: the furry theme is a recurrent one in Fritz Leiber's writing. Why is this?

UPDATE: I don't know what is so special about the digitigrade gait but extensive research reveals that Tardigrade suits fail to impress the youngsters.

26 comments:

merc said...

Ingrate, without Weta(tm), Nzild would merely be another Pacific isle vying for Chinese economic largess and missing out on the spoils of a very necessary Ozzie cultural hegemony.
That's what the nice man at the Oscar's never said.

mikey said...

To be honest, I have nothing of any value to contribute, but I'm waiting for my shrimp to thaw, a process I prefer not to artificially accellerate, and the choices for passing time at this point seem to be limited to first round playoff basketball, scotch and Riddled.

I don't think I want to purchase a "professional grade reverse leg stilt", which sounds like a snowboarding trick more than a prosthetic body part, but then I have enough trouble walking upright on the original issue meat, so I suppose that's understandable.

I once woke up in bed with a woman who had leopard spots tattooed on her legs similar to the image in your post, something I found odd but not particularly unpleasant. She was insane and attacked me with a toilet brush, which was unpleasant on a number of levels, but you've got to believe me when I tell you it is incredibly difficult to defend yourself from a nude tattooed madwoman wielding a toilet brush in anger first thing in the morning. But it's healthy to laugh, and the sight of her oddly colored legs and glistening, heaving breasts was hilarious, if oddly stimulating...

Smut Clyde said...

first round playoff basketball, scotch and Riddled

Ah, multi-tasking.

it is incredibly difficult to defend yourself from a nude tattooed madwoman wielding a toilet brush in anger first thing in the morning

I would like to see that tested on Mythbusters.

Dan Someone said...

Wait. Fuck! How is it that I am not learning about this blog until just now? Is this where mikey is hanging out now? Is there comedy and interesting stuff here? WHY WAS I NOT INFORMED?

I would like to speak with the manager. Now.

ckc (not kc) said...

here's a link to a demonstration

I'm sure it was... I remain, sadly, unenlightened

(or, now that I think about it, gladly unenlightened, but provisioned with shiraz)

ckc (not kc) said...

...somehow I want that to be "pedalling leg extensions"

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Dan Someone said...

Report abuse.
~

mikey said...

Hi Dan.

Chances are, you'll find the management at the Old Entomologist making footnotes on napkins and ranting about viking skulls.

If I were you, I'd stay well out of their reach.

But not to worry, their standards are remarkably low here...

Smut Clyde said...

So not true. We ban people all the time.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

excellent deployment of BOC lyric, sirs!

a process I prefer not to artificially accellerate, and the choices for passing time at this point seem to be limited to first round playoff basketball, scotch and Riddled.

excellent choice on the thawing, but I wish to point out that the three choices you outline are not mutually exclusive.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Is there comedy and interesting stuff here?


No. Occasional zombie content.

mikey said...

We ban people all the time.

You ban TIGRIS all the time...

ckc (not kc) said...

They allow for realistic and natural movement as they are jointed at the knee and the ankle

..as opposed to us plantigrades, with bizarre and unnatural movements, what with our fused knees and ankles...

J— said...

So is this the money you use down there in Wetaland?

Smut Clyde said...

I'm waiting for my shrimp to thaw
Looking that up on Urban Dictionary even now.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

But that's not all - the more you shop, the more Weta Dollars you get. If you spend 500 US Dollars or more in any 12 month period, you are promoted to Gold Collector, which means you earn 15 Weta Dollars for every 100 US Dollars spent. As a Gold collector, you will also get exclusive access to special VIP promotions as thanks for your loyalty.
~

Another Kiwi said...

I have been attending a conference on taxation strategies concerning Hookers and Blow otherwise I would replied more expeditiously to the attacks on Riddled standards.
Hah! Sir.
We have prepared a list of standards to be applied in future on this blog but unfortunately the newest Satyr on the staff has eaten it.
Sir.

Substance McGravitas said...

I see. 17 comments.

Well, more naked posts from me.

Smut Clyde said...

All those in favour of Substance putting his clothes back on, say Aye.

mikey said...

I don't get it. I post naked all the time. I tend to operate on the theory that nobody can tell.

Unless I'm unclear on this whole internet privacy thing. Can you tell from my IP address?

J— said...

¡Aye, Dios mío!

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Bonus bonus speculation: the furry theme is a recurrent one in Fritz Leiber's writing. Why is this?

To be fair to ole Fritz, he was also a boney.

extensive research reveals that Tardigrade suits fail to impress the youngsters.

Alas, nobody has a fetish for these bears.

WV-prickles... a real word??!?!?

Smut Clyde said...

To be fair to ole Fritz, he was also a boney.
The concept haunts me, much as a spectre might haunt Texas.

mikey said...

You know, like a lot of people, I was strongly influenced by the science fiction of the period (The Lathe of Heaven, The Einstein Intersection, Dying Inside, Stranger in a Strange Land etc.) and I'm pretty sure I read some Leiber, but I always thought Fahfrd and the Mouser were CATS. I didn't dig the magicks, y'see...

gregor samsa said...

tigris is a known trouble maker.

merc said...

That Tigris is a river of trubba I have heard tell.

hoexplis, plea for ex to not become ho.