And they call him, Quicklime Boy

This post was earlier cross-posted at Leonid Schneider's site, hence the unfrivolous tone. The version there is improved by Leonid's editing and frame story.

At their pinnacle, Hindu spirituality and philosophy are about weakening the habitual cognitive error known as "ego" by starving it of attention, so that we can experience things in the world as they are rather than treating them as a series of mirrors reflecting oneself. Some gurus take a roundabout path towards this goal of abnegation, by way of self-glorification, perhaps in the hope that if one inflates one's ego enough it will explode with a dull "pop" like the frog in the fable. I am thinking in particular of Indian yoga- and snake-oil-purveyors Swami Ramdev and Acharya Balkrishna. Attend to the autohagiographies that adorn the Patanjali Research Institute!

For his divine and excellence services to the welfare of mankind, [H.H. SWAMI RAMDEV JI] was felicitated by the Prime Minister of Indian Mr. Narendra Modi Ji as a National Icon, Tarun Kranti. He received several prestigious awards namely Padma Vibhushan, Surya Ratna and Mahaveer Award. Swami Ji has been conferred with recognized honors. Among, the few are: Surya Ratna, Mahveer Award from United Kingdom, Chandrashearendra Saraswati National Eminence Award, Mahamahopadhyaya globoil India Award. Swami ji is honored from British House of Commons, Legislature of state of New Jersey, USA, ASSOCHEM’s 5th Global Knowledge Millennium Summit, Brand Ambassador of Yoga by Government of Haryana. Swami Ji is honored and celebrated 30 June 2007 as Swami Ramdev Day by Nassau County.
Swami Ji was as “Most Creative Business People of 2016”, and “5th India’s 50 Most Powerful People” by American Business Magazine and India Today Magazine respectively. Kalinga Institute of Industrial Technology, Bhubaneswar has conferred him a “Honorary Doctorate”. Swami Ji was considered for Padma Vibushan, as second highest civilian award but, day before 66th Republic Day, humbly refrained from taking it by putting the fact he is an ascetic.
Swami ji aimed to propagate Yoga and Ayurveda, reform India on the social, political and economic level and henceforth took all onerous responsibility of demystifying and popularizing Patanjali Yoga on himself. Swami ji aimed to implement yoga as a daily practice and life style to every human being.
His teachings of yoga include eight Prāṇāyāmas, some Ukma (light) Vyāyāmas; and some specific Āsanas combined with Āyurvedic medicines for various ailments. The yogic teachings of Swami Ji are broadcast on various Indian TV channels, like AASTHA, ZEETV, STAR, SAHARA etc. ...

If you can read these without thinking "Did you ever in your puff see such a perfect perisher?" then you need to read more P.G. Wodehouse.

[H.H. ACHARYA BALKRISHNA JI] is one of the renowned & pioneer in the field of Ayurvedic Science and a source of inspiration for Traditional Medicinal Practitioners and working for the spectrum of indigenous medicine identification, authentication and establishment at national & international level.*
With the vison of universal health for over last two decades, he effectively cured more than 1.5 million patients with a number of stubborn, chronic and non-communicable diseases. Presently more than 1500 traditional doctors are providing free primary healthcare service to more than 7 million of patients per year and 1 million volunteer are providing free Yoga to 50 Million person daily.
To reveal new ways to solve key health problems, fill gaps in knowledge & strengthening of health system he is guiding research works to create and improve preventive, diagnostic, and therapeutic interventions of diseases through Indigenous Medicine System i.e. Yoga & Ayurveda and digital health.
He authored more than 100 books, 100 Research Articles, 41 Patents Rights and edited more than 18 unpublished ancient Manuscripts. One of the scripture ‘Aushadh Darshan’ has been sold more than 10 million copies and in addition, ‘The Science of Ayurveda’ has been published in 71 languages across globe.
Strengthening traditional medicine system of the world with the multivolume ‘World Herbal Encyclopedia’ that contains description of 60,000 medicinal plant species with world largest collection of medical plants paintings.

The Patanjali Research Institute (PRI) seems to be a subsidiary of the Patanjali Research Foundation Trust, all part of a sprawling Patanjali-themed business empire, with the Patanjali Yogpeeth, Divya Yog Mandir, Patanjali Ayurved Limited manufactory, a University of Patanjali, and innumerable other commercial entities.** All founded by Ramdev and Balkrishna, and all selling two product ranges to the Indian diaspora through "Divya Pharmacy" Patanjali-themed pharmacy webstores: (1) ersatz Guru-blessings, and (2) mendacious Alt-Med concoctions -- both with an Indian Nationalist brand.

What brings this into the ambit of Riddled and ForBetterScience are the paper-shaped advertisements for Balkrishna medicinal merchandise, pukefunneled into mockademic journals.

The on-line pharmacies have any number of Ramdev / Balkrishna products, treating various ill-defined diagnostic categories, and generally consisting of calcium oxide i.e. quicklime (or sometimes mercury) with various blends of a limited palette of herbs. Like quantum-theoretical particle-waves, they all display a dual nature, being at the one time both time-honoured Ayurvedic traditions, and proprietary creations of Swami Ramdev, made only at Patanjali Ayurved Ltd. and sold only through Divya Pharmacy, accept no imitation.

In a belated quest for academic acceptance, they all need research-shaped performances to justify (retrospectively) Ramdev's insights, so there are many of these papers, taking full advantage of the new marketing channel created by advances in academic publishing.

This illustrates in passing an important point about pay-to-print 'predatory publishing' in the research world. Predatory or parasitical publishers are often presented as taking advantage of the naivete of innocent authors. In many cases, the authors know exactly what they're buying with their Page Charges: a veneer of academic approval for lies that further the authors' political or commercial agenda. In the case of Balkrishna, it is also an opportunity to take first authorship on each of the opuscules churned out by his minions at the PRI.

The Balkrishna oeuvre is notable for a non-standard interpretation of the concept of "conflict of interest", with Balkrishna claiming to gain no personal advantage from the positive results he fabricates for his merchandise. His employees / co-authors share this admirable disinterest.

Every crisis is an opportunity, the adage has it, and the SARS-CoV-2 pandemic is no exception, opening up whole new markets to medscammers and their overpriced placebos. The Ramdev / Balkrishna way of capitalising on it was to combine quicklime with Withania somnifera, Tinospora cordifolia and Ocimum sanctum, and call it Coronil... followed by the more arduous process of retconning a rationale and working out the chemical contents.***

One supporting paper purports to show improved swimbladder performance in Covid-infected zebrafish ("Application of Humanized Zebrafish Model in the Suppression of SARS-CoV-2 Spike Protein Induced Pathology by Tri-Herbal Medicine Coronil via Cytokine Modulation"). OK, not really an infection, but a injection of SARS-CoV-2 spike proteins; not affecting the fish directly, but rather, affecting the human-derived A549 cancer cells hosted in their swimbladders. The rationale was that the proteins would challenge the A549 cells in exactly the way that a COVID-19 infection challenges respiratory epithelial cells in an infected host, causing the fishes' immune systems to respond in the same way as a human immune system, with a cytokine storm; and absence of such a storm would prove the efficacy of the herbal concoction.

The approach is adopted, somewhat loosely, from lung-cancer research, where the search is for treatments that kill the A549 cells. Its validity could be questioned, but there is no doubting the value of the study for Patanjali Ayurved Ltd and Divya Pharmacy, who lost no time in applying it to its intended marketing purposes.

The company continues to insist its product works against Covid-19.
"It has treated and cured people," Acharya Balkrishna, managing director of Patanjali told the BBC.
It referred us to scientific trials, the results of which it says have been published in several peer-reviewed journals.
It pointed specifically to a study from November 2020 in a journal published by the Swiss-based MDPI, which was based on a laboratory trial.

Concurrently with the Coronil validation, the company was preparing a very similar paper, "Calcio-Herbal Medicine Divya-Swasari-Vati Ameliorates SARS-CoV-2 Spike Protein-Induced Pathological Features and Inflammation in Humanized Zebrafish Model by Moderating IL-6 and TNF-α Cytokines". Here the cytokine storms in the zebrafish / A549-cell chimeras were forestalled by a different Patanjali Product, involving a different herbal mixture (plus quicklime). One could easily wonder if there are any ayurveda-inspired products which don't cure COVID-19. In fairness, I note that this second paper departed from the first in using "behavioural fever" as well as swimbladder function to quantify the piscine health (assessed by the fishes' preference for a warmer environment).

A third bolus of bullshit was tendentious, disingenuous fiddle-faddle, harnessing lead-time bias to deliver the intended result -- packing the Treatment group with earlier-infected cases who were already progressing towards full recovery, while lying about "randomly assigning" and "RCT".

"Randomized placebo-controlled pilot clinical trial on the efficacy of ayurvedic treatment regime on COVID-19 positive patients" was published in Phytomedicine : International Journal of Phytotherapy and Phytopharmacology: a naturopath-friendly journal from Elsevier, often encountered in lists of papermill outputs. It stands out from the rest of the oeuvre because Edzard Ernst gave it stick for lack of scientific rigor. Of course Prof. Ernst criticises a lot of junk. In this case he was banned from FaceBorg for spreading COVID-19 disinformation (!), after (I surmise) Balkrishna sent flying monkeys to denounce him.

This post got me banned from Facebook; I don't see why. If you don't either, perhaps you might RT the hell out of it?

An RCT on the efficacy of ayurvedic treatment on asymptomatic COVID-19 patients https://t.co/R2RA7qgV6e via @edzardernst

— Edzard Ernst (@EdzardErnst) February 25, 2021

No-one expected FaceBorg to take the side of the scammer! Meanwhile the paper served its purpose:

A human trial was conducted between May and June last year, on 95 patients who had tested positive for coronavirus.
Of these, 45 received the treatment and 50 were part of a placebo group (who didn't receive anything).
The Patanjali company pointed out the results have appeared in a peer-reviewed journal called Science Direct in its April 2021 edition.

Public health: Never a priority in a theocracy

There is a political side to all this. Balkrishna and Ramdev made themselves flag-bearers in a broader campaign to monetarise Ayurvedic quackery by tying it to the Hindutva movement of religious / cultural chauvinism, or Brahminic supremacy if you like. They backed the winning side in the Indian race to dictatorship. So the Minister of Health has joined Team Coronil (not just the Minister for Medfraud), keen to install Coronil as the standard treatment for COVID-19 and volunteering the public as guineapigs for large-scale trials. To be fair, I note that State governments are generally less theocratic and therefore more concerned for the health of their constituents, and are not so enthusiastic.

Lying that Coronil received WHO approval

I don't know if there is anything comparable elsewhere. The US has a noble tradition of religious frauding, piggybacking on a movement of Bible-weaponising white supremacy. It has an equally long tradition of snake-oil and Alt-Med chicanery. Mountebanks and supplement pimps like Mercola would like to combine the two, running 'christian-spirituality / prosperity-gospel' grifts in conjunction with 'christian-herbalist alt-med cures' as the two sides of a single immersive money-extracting environment. But the fact remains that traditional European medicine was all mistletoe, leeches, cobweb pills, poultices and swallowing live mice, if you go back to the Dark Ages, or trichobezoars and antimony and ground-up emeralds if you prefer the Renaissance quacksalver version. So it's not easy to present multilevel-marketed pill-popping as an intrinsic part of White Identity, in the way that Ayurveda is part of Hindutva, despite the medscammers' best efforts to align themselves with the American Taliban.

That aside, nine Balkrishna brainfarts have been flagged so far in PubPeer threads. Dozens more could be arraigned, of course, just for his specious denial of any Conflicts-of-Interest. Four featured in Special Issues of Biomolecules, a MDPI journal, which appears to be especially welcoming. The MDPI policy of encouraging video abstracts as well as the old-media written ones probably helps (the publisher is targeting a readership who need moving pictures to capture their attention). So please enjoy the spectacle of a recitation about Withania somnifera... in Sanskrit.

Now Sanskrit is a lovely language, but considering the percentage of the population who understand it (even in India), its use in this context is more a statement of fealty to the Modi gubblement and its Brahmin-supremacist philosophy than an attempt to communicate to a wider audience -- like delivering an Abstract in Latin to affiliate one's research with the Vatican. Indian media saw the triumphant gesture, even if the MDPI publishing director preferred to think that it was "diversity".

“Diversity and sustainability are very important to us, so we are very pleased to have published a video abstract in Sanskrit,” he added.

In a covert correction, the original Video Abstract seems to have vanished from another Biomolecules paper ("Validation of a Novel Zebrafish Model of Dengue Virus (DENV-3) Pathology Using the Pentaherbal Medicine Denguenil Vati"). The loss is regrettable, as by all accounts it was a choral performance. Complete with conspicuous product placement for the Pentalherbal Medicine Denguenil Vati, available only through the first author's Divya Pharmacy.

https://t.co/kaIEmBjInb
@PypAyurved's paper abstract is followed by a video of @Ach_Balkrishna singing a song for dengue (?) @MDPIOpenAccess you okay?
What is this?@MicrobiomDigest @schneiderleonid @Thatsregrettab1 @SmutClyde

— ronak (@rotluronak) February 23, 2021

"Denguenil Vati is a pentaherbal Indian traditional formulation recent product of Swami Ramdev's well-remunerated intuition that has been prescribed by ayurvedic practitioners charlatans for the treatment of dengue infection in India."

The scientific breakthrough here is not so that Balkrishna and his acolytes had cured zebrafish of a Dengue Fever infection, but their success in infecting them with the virus in the first place, contrary to a century of failures by other virologists to find a non-primate host. They buried the lede there.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

* It comes as no surprise that Balkrishna has fluffers on staff to curate the contents of his Whackyweedia entry and ensure that the tongue-bath is the right temperature. The entry does not mention the tax-evasion concerns or the questions of bogus citizenship and bogus degrees, so one must search elsewhere for that background information.

** "It is very difficult to be sure about the number of associated companies - Ramdev’s key aides, Balkrishna and Mukta Nand are shown as Directors/Managing Directors/Additional Directors for at least 45 separate companies, however there are likely to be many more companies affiliated to the Ramdev organization. Some of the most significant affiliates are Aashta TV, Divya Pharmacy, Patanjali Ayurved Limited and the Brahmakalpa Chikitsalaya (hospital).27"

*** The methodology makes as much sense as a previous application of the same versatile and potent three-herb combination, to cancer patients, as a chemoprotective adjunct to chemotherapy. (though no sign of the calcium oxide). But wait, here's another group of researchers, jumping on the juggernaut bandwagon to promote the three-herb combination for COVID-19, with a molecular-docking unstudy.

When Prophecy Fails #2 (Career of Evil edition)

Can you write a Faceborg entry by muzzle-loading a random pile of words into a blunderbuss and firing them at the screen? The possibility never occurred to us at the Riddled Research Laboratory but fortunately here is John Wanoa (rightful KING WILLIAM IV SURROGATE KING OF UK) to put it to empirical test:

[H/t Hoaxtead Research]

He seems to be angry, and concerned for the state of England, watching from exile but unable to intervene as it teeters on the edge of anarchy... his recent attempt to assume his throne and extend his sceptre of authority across the realm being thwarted, by Border Control and a little mix-up involving visas. It is hard to be sure, though, for Wanoa is writing in a kind of quark-soup gramtax, or synmar as it may be.

The New Accelerator

This is actually our goal with the Riddled High-Energy Jargon Accelerator, where we bang nouns and verbs together at high enough velocity to recreate the conditions of the Big Babel - restoring the broken super-symmetries between strong and weak declensions, and between parts of speech, in a veritable neologasm of fresh verbal coinage - in the search for the God Participle. And I must say in passing how disheartening it is to see shameless charlatans who aren't us teaching this stuff at £70 / lesson as "Quantum Grammar" which will confound the Excise Men and other enemies of freedom (like General Semantics, but updated and dumbed down to better profit from morons).

So Greenish Hugh and Louis Carthorse spent a marathon 8-hour session reviewing Mr Wanoa's prodigious logorrhoea, and before they slumped into catatonia, they were able to table the following older sample of Wanoarrhage. The catatonia may have been related to those three pints of Moai Beer.

Moai Beer

"But who is this Eru Manukau, Uncle Smut?" asked absolutely no-one. For he features regularly in Wanoa's eccentric scholium of thought. Usually capitalised, and mercifully bereft of the special colon-centric punctuation associated with Quantum Grammar, or any other kind.

PARAMOUNT MOHI TE MAATI MANUKAU IV AND HIS SON ERU MANUKAU WITH HIS LAWYERS IN LONDON.

BUT NOW the 20 STATE GOVERNMENTS have signed an agreement with the NEW MAORI GOVERNMENT OF NEW ZEALAND The HEAD OF STATE Ariki ERU MANUKAU under the Protectorate of the 20 Government Sovereign STATES signed in ROME Please go to my WEBSITE to see pictures of the PRINCE OF MALTA and ERU MANUKAU and LAWYERS attesting to this EVENT

I HAVE ALL THAT WHAKAPAPA HERE from Te Maati Manukau IV Founder of the Confederation of Tribes direct to Westminster and "Vatican City" Corporation MALTA KNIGHTS TEMPLAR and "City of london" Corporation London UK
MOHI MANUKAU AND I SENT 20 OF THESE FLAGS TO HIS SON ERU MANUKAU IN MALTA FOR THE NWO NEW WORLD ORDER ST JOHN ORDER IN 2008 JUST BEFORE MOHI MANUKAU DIED
HERE IS PRINCE PETER WITH ERU MANUKAU AND I BELIEVE THE POPE TOOK THEM FROM THEM INTO THE VATICAN NWO 8 POINT STAR OF ST PATRICK CHURCH ORDER AS TITLE TO THE WORLD IT IS KING ERNEST AUGUSTUS V I AM NOMINATING AS THE KING OF BRITAIN UK HANOVER TO RESCUE THE FLAGS AND 8 POINT STAR OF ST PATRICK BACK INTO WESTMINSTER PARLIAMENT UNDER KING ERNEST AUGUSTUS V SOVEREIGN MONARCHY REIGN 2016 INHERITANCE INSIDE THE WAITANGI MARAE KINGS BENCH COURT 28 OCTOBER 2016 WAITANGI

However we the INDIGENOUS MORIORI First Nations People CLAIMED the QUEENS CROWN before HELEN CLARK can Claim it for herself and JOINED 20 Government Sovereign States who confirmed MAORI GOVERNMENT is the Recognized TRUE SOVEREIGN of New Zealand and so ERU MANUKAU who is in ROME is the HEAD OF STATE in a New WAITING MAORI GOVERNMENT who has a QUEEN ELIZABETH 11 APPROVAL with the 20 STATES to come back to New Zealand and Take up the NEW GOVERNMENT and since the GOVERNOR GENERAL called ANAND SATYANAND DISSOLVED New Zealand Parliament he will have a PROBLEM opening New Zealand’s Parliament up after the winning Elections because the New Ministers have NO QUEEN to SWEAR their ALLEGANCES to because WE the MORIORI MAORI have the CROWN NOW and so they have to all BOW TO MAORI the SUCCESSORS Democracy is OUT THE WINDOW after that ERU MANUKAU is in talks with your United States Ministers and President Bush right this very present time talk about the FREE TRADE AGREEMENT the Prime Minister of New Zealand signed with USA without the QUEEN and after QUEEN ELIZABETH11 was removed of her BRITISH CROWN and her SOVEREIEGNTY by the British Prime Minister Gordon Brown and in doing so her surrender also Removed “HER MAJESTY TITLE” from New Zealand and its Government Guess what The Government is still using her name after she had gone and signed the AMERICA FREE TRADE AGREEMENT with NEW ZEALAND FRAUDULENTLY UNDER FALSE TITLE OF CROWN from their Government AUTHORITY Business called “HER MAJESTY THE QUEEN IN RIGHT OF NEW ZEALAND[...]”

This may make it clearer

Crivens! It is as if Samuel Beckett suffered a temporal-lobe seizure and only had a teletype machine through which to express the revelations flooding into his brain on a beam of pink light. I hope you were paying attention as there WILL BE A QUIZ. Anyway, Eru Manukau is evidently the HEAD OF STATE of the legitimate MAORI GOVERNMENT-in-exile of New Zealand, with plenipotentiary powers, in regency or satrapy or vassalage to Wanoa himself (Suzerain King of Everything). Alternatively, Foreign Minister of that Govt.-in-Exile.

TAKE NOTICE THAT YOU ARE ACUSED THE NAMED PERSONS SEVERALLY DIDN’T REBUTT ALL OUR MORIORI PUPONGA MANUKAU CLAIMS HISTORIC LAND CLAIMS before 4pm on the 30th September Our MARAE COUNCIL NOW determined with ERU MANUKAU Foreign Minister of MAORI CROWN SOVEREIGN GOVERNMENT now BILL CHARGED HELL EN CLARK to be extradited back here for TRIAL

Our other Foreign Minister Eru Manukau 9 years away should be back from Rome with our Putea next month I am the Tumuake of the Confederation of United Tribes of Aotearoa Nu Tireni here in Auckland Leading the TU TONU TAHI HAWAIKI MARAE as the Land and Energy Minister of Maori Sovereign State Government for real now Registered in the United Nations ahead of the NZ Government presently with Eru Manukau where our Flag is We have both contributed 9 years of work completed now We all need to register our names into the Sovereign State under the Confederation after I have done so myself in order to get the funding for the Land Blocks and all our projects I been talking about for years is here now

But Eru and his fraudster father Te Maati Mohi Wiremu (William) Manukau were mentors to Wanoa: inspirations, and the source of half of the grifty notions comprising his artistic practice. Devising spurious ancestry-based claims to other people's property? In 1996 the Manukau father-&-son team, presenting themselves as "trustees of the Manukau Māori Trust Board", were asserting their ownership of Puketutu Island, to the entertainment of the Māori Land Court.

There was also a complicated stoush at the Waitangi Tribunal, involving a runanga established to represent tribal interests in the ultimate deposition of assets of the New Zealand railways (which were being privatised, as was the custom of the day) - but enlivened by the irruption of young Eru, arguing that he represented the claimants and should receive all assets and compensation on their behalf.

As connoisseurs of such things, here at the Riddled Institute of Maledictive Linguistics we would like to hear more about that "extraordinarily intemperate and aggressive language".

Remember Wanoa's Maoi Crown Royal / Moai Powerhouse Banks[designed as the Share Holders Bank Account under TagPay France Administered by the new Bank Manager from ANZ Bank Auckland New Zealand very experienced in Commercial Banking philosophy. Will appear in every Country in the World as Electronic Money Transactions against the British Pound Note at the present time]? Totally modelled on Eru's "Sovereign Global Bank Aotearoa" / "Maori Central Bank".

The SGBA is a glorious contribution to the gaiety of nations, with its Haast-Eagle-inspired logo, as awesome as an army with banners; a single Crivens! is not enough, more crivenage please. It instantiates the Maori Electronic Gold Currency System, with a 2% transaction tax and a plethora of diagrams.

SGBA officers are HM Ariki Manukau... it is not clear when Eru ascended to the nobility and conferred upon himself the title Ariki. "With 28 yrs experience and expertise in International Law, Banking & Finance, economic development, taxation and the implementation of the New Maori Nation's diplomatic relations, economic and financial systems and the electronic digital gold backed currency worldwide." Along with "Mr Robert H. Ptak CEO & Director of Treasury Operations & Security Intelligence and HRH Dr Percy Tamayo, Director Member, Legal, Financial & Economic Advisor to the Bank, whom form the Maori Central Bank's Core Management Team." Who further styles himself 'Grand Vizier'. This is truly high-concept grifting.

The SGBA was earlier based in New Zealand (i.e. Aotearoa), but the Reserve Bank of NZ was not well-pleased with the nebulous claims being made on its behalf. Hence the relocation to less well-defined financial jurisdiction, with the Austrian domain name, registered by "Ariki Manuka" of "SGBA Holdings HK Ltd" from an office in Hong Hong.

The Bank was an outgrowth or excrescence of the early-2000s Maori Government of Aotearoa... which is to say, a Maori-autonomy affinity fraud, which co-opted a 1834 Tribal-Independence flag to wrap itself in legitimacy. See here for its pseudohistory. The MGA acquired a military wing in the form of the NZ Armed Intervention Force (i.e. Kelvyn Alp and his cohort of white supremacists), but primarily existed for extortion and selling bogus passports to overstayers desperate to acquire citizenship.

The current abode of HM Eru Manukau is no better defined than the Bank's... sometimes in his Hong Kong office suite, sometimes negotiating in Rome with the Vatican and the Prince of Malta. He does have a physical address somewhere, from which to disown and disclaim any conmen taken on as Ambassadors by his Government-in-Exile.

Satere does not LEGALLY represent Aotearoa Ambassador At Large to The Americas for the Maori Sovereign Tribe of Te Atue E Wa. I know this for a fact because i was able to get Ariki Eru Manukau's personal address, who said, and i quote, "Sorry to hear that you have fallen victim to Mr Karenhatase private scam.
Please be advised that Mr Karenhatase was fired from our organisation several months ago for UNAUTHORISED issuing of a guarantee and abuse of his position."

One can safely say, without fear of contradiction or defamation lawyers, that when someone claims to be running their own bank, backed and underwritten by "52,414 metric tonnes in gold bullion ingots" bequeathed by a fictitious though fabulously wealthy dynasty of Indonesian Sultans, then fuckery and fraudulence are afoot.

When Prophecy Fails (the falling motion)

"Let's re-enact 'When Prophecy Fails' as a real-time broadcast across social media, but instead of the deranged and disappointed cultists expecting UFOs, their saviour is a scrophulous brain-damaged scammer-manqué from New Zealand," said absolutely no-one. Yet the scriptwriters of the Reality Studio heard the unspoken plea, and it came to pass.

Now I am inclined to believe that John Hoani Wanoa is a character from an unpublished sequel to Hadrian VII, written by Thomas Pynchon in a rare collaboration with Alfred Bester, who escaped from the fictive dimension into more corporeal reality. The alternative explanation is that he is a natural-born citizen of Consensus Reality who broke his brain in some dramatic irreversible way (about the same time as he discovered the Kaipara Harbour Tidal Generator scheme and decided to profit from his own scam version thereof), resulting in

1. The fabulation of imaginary ancestries for himself, variously featuring the Moriori, Tahitian / Hawai'ian / Rapanui princely bloodlines, and English royal dynasties.

2. Ingestion of the legal-truther systems of longer-established grifters (notably "Rev." Kevin Annett and his "International Tribunal into Crimes of Church and State"; the white-supremacist prehistory fantasies of Martin Doutre et al.; and a NZ tradition of 1834 Tribal-Independence conmen*), all regurged in a macaronic logorrhoea of cargo-cultic worship-words.

3. Appropriation of the 1834 Confederated Tribes flag as a mystical, all-powerful emblem of KING WILLIAM IV ADMIRALTY MARITIME LAW SOVEREIGNTY and QUEENS BENCH.

4. A conviction that any property he likes the look of must have been stolen from his royal ancestors, therefore really belonging to him, needing only stern letters written in a macaronic logorrhoea of worship-words to ensure its restitution. Or failing that, physical invasion.

5. Under-punctuated 4000-word rants to UK politicians, in a macaronic logorrhoea with the worship-words curiously capitalised.

I would like you to FREEZE the NWO AGENDA 21 CLAIMS to this GOLD TRUST FUND till we get there for the TRIAL between the VATICAN and QUEEN and MOAI BENEFICIARIES please.
I would like you to FREEZE the ADMIRALTY COURT MARTIAL LAW of KING WILLIAM IV FLAG SEAL JURISDICTION MANIFESTATION BONDS CARGO MERCHANT ADMIRALTY MARITIME LAW over USA CANADA AUSTRALIA and NEW ZEALAND immediately the date of this KINGS ORDER online HIGH COURT OF ADMIRALTY COURT HEARING TODAY 27/7/14
NO one is Authorized to use KING WILLIAM IV FLAG SEAL JURISDICTION LEGALLY as of this KINGS ORDER INTERNATIONAL PUBLIC NOTICE today. It will be posted on facebook shortly as a consequence of any ACTION against those THIRD FOURTH PARTIES to this "KING WILLIAM IV ADMIRALTY & "QUEEN VICTORIA MOAI HAPU NATIVE TRUST FUND CLAIM"

Let's face it, that alternative explanation is far less plausible.

Another Kiwi has a third explanation for Mr Wanoa's apparent existence, holding him to be a chapter of "1066 And All That" which somehow attained sentience, but I am not convinced.

The other side of the equation, anyway, is the ragtaggle pack of conspiracist Truthers who found Wanoa's congeries of delusions to be congenial building-blocks for constructing their own stately pleasure-domes of belief. Thus they affect to believe [for values of "belief" which may be imaginary, and are certainly not rational] that

1. John Wanoa is the True Surrogate King of England, Scotland, etc..

2. Upon arrival in the UK, Wanoa will be elevated to the throne by mass acclamation among the Armed Forces and constabulary - allowing him to topple the corrupt established legal system of elitist "lawyers" and "judges" and restore the old system of Common Jurisprudence and King's Bench.

It is not clear which author or literary tradition is responsible for them. Evidently, though, their author is not afraid of broad-brush heavy-handed satire, and not concerned whether characters behave with plausible intelligence.

So these insufferable drongos sent off money to John Wanoa or his proxies, with some uncertainty whether each £25 was a donation, or the purchase of one of the 999,999,999,999 nominal shares in his fantasy tidal-power not-a-business, or a deposit securing the right to purchase a share when he gets around to arranging a magical way to transfer shares that bypasses brokers and Stock Exchange. That's the "scammer-manqué" part of the story.

Wanoa bought his ticket to the UK, as the first step on the triumphant Return-of-the-King march on Westminster that would see an end to the usurpation of power (along the way, visiting the High Court to regularise his claims to an office building in Auckland that rightfully belongs to him because he likes the look of it; and securing the £27 billion bequest owed to him by Lloyd's Bank... because some conmen once pulled a classic Advance-Fee scam on him and stole his retirement savings by promising a bequest while claiming to work on Lloyds' behalf).

It turned out, though, that he travelled on a tourist visa, having failed to apply for a work visa, or the specific "Restoration of Legitimate but Supplanted Royalty" visa. Thus he was turned back at the Border Security desk and put on the next plane to Hong Kong. His arrival without ££ may not have helped (proposing to support himself for the length of his visit by way of mendicancy and appeals to the eleemosynary impulses of strangers); not his openness on social media about his gallows-related intentions for the incumbent sovereign.

So I did not get to open a celebratory bottle of King's Landing after all. To prove that I am not MAKING THIS ALL UP, here are some of the nimrods raggling and taggling at a rally in St James Park. They are literally wrapped in that 1834 flag from a short-lived though entertaining episode of NZ colonial history, convinced that it will protect them from bailiffs and repo-men and child-welfare agencies, much as Ghost Shirts protected the Sioux Ghost-Dancers from the bullets of the US cavalry. Their Old Suspender** addressed them in a video chat by smartphone, but forgot to turn on the sound at his end. More at Hoaxtead Research.

I don't know what is wrong with these people but maybe it's something in the water. What now? Will the Cargo-Cult members recognise the falseness of their beliefs and realign to a slightly more reality-related scholium of thought? Or will they resolve the cognitive dissonance (to the extent that they recognise it) by doubling down, destroying all their food and starving en masse? Leon Festinger is not optimistic.

Conditions[edit]

Festinger stated that five conditions must be present if someone is to become a more fervent believer after a failure or disconfirmation:

• A belief must be held with deep conviction and it must have some relevance to action, that is, to what the believer does or how he or she behaves.
• The person holding the belief must have committed himself to it; that is, for the sake of his belief, he must have taken some important action that is difficult to undo. In general, the more important such actions are, and the more difficult they are to undo, the greater is the individual's commitment to the belief.
• The belief must be sufficiently specific and sufficiently concerned with the real world so that events may unequivocally refute the belief.
• Such undeniable disconfirmatory evidence must occur and must be recognized by the individual holding the belief.
• The individual believer must have social support. It is unlikely that one isolated believer could withstand the kind of disconfirming evidence that has been specified. If, however, the believer is a member of a group of convinced persons who can support one another, the belief may be maintained and the believers may attempt to proselytize or persuade nonmembers that the belief is correct.

* A special shout-out for Wanoa's old mates, father-and-son grifter duo Eru and Mohi Wiremu ("William") Manukau, who can be found trying to grab other people's land with bogus title claims back in 1996. Eru was an early adopter of the "United Tribes" Sovereign-State fraud and the totemic properties of the 1834 flag, using them to sell fake citizenship in 2000. He subsequently set up his own fake bank ("Sovereign Global Bank Aotearoa" / "Maori Central Bank"), seems to be running his various scams from overseas, and is clearly the source for many of John Wanoa's unoriginal notions.

** Old Suspender:

Bonus Pretenders:

Everything is true, nothing is permitted:This is the Night we Ride edition

Strategic stockpiles of Stupid were running low again, and there was talk of drilling for Stupid within areas of national significance (i.e. the Garden Bar at the Old Entomologist), so we lowered Little Tim down one of the older, non-performing wells to unblock it. And there was a GUSHER OF STUPID:

Support gathering outside the Royal Courts of Justice to support Lyn Thyer as Big Pharma 's henchmen attempt to Extradite her to France ... for having the audacity to develop an EFFECTIVE CANCER TREATMENT!

This has to do with Lynda Thyer (née Banks), who played lab-coat dress-up scientist for David Noakes for a while, writing paper-shaped advertisements for magic-protein GcMAF that he could sign his name to and pump out through parasitical journals, and pretending to test the output of his man-shed / Magic Protein manufactory for biological activity. She qualified for this position by being the sister of Noakes' other employees, Trevor Banks and Leslie Hutchings (née Banks). Noakes only heard of the stuff and grasped its commercial scamming potential through Ian R. Crane, so it is very generous of the latter to credit Noakes & Thyer with "developing" GcMAF.




As a speaker at the 2016 GcMAF scamboree in Moscow, Thyer announced cures of pancreatic cancer and autism in children. Since Noakes' ImmunoBiotech fraud went tits-up, she shifted her affection to a supplement pill-mill, though she could still be found vouching for the efficacy of GcMAF in Letters to the Editor (titling herself "Biomedical Scientist" and citing her own worthless screeds as evidence)... like other forms of Showbiz, GcMAF grifting is hard to give up.

The outcome of that March 12 court appearance are not clear. There is chatter on the Interweb about "Next Hearing somewhere 27/28 March 2019", so it was probably premature of Another Kiwi and I to LOL so hard that our tongues hung out and Evangeline van Holsterin [Head Barmaid at the Old Entomologist] called us LOLlards.

The presence in that crowd scene of some yellow-jacket light-brownshirt jamoke is our regular reminder that for all the New Age stylings of the Paranoid Ideation ecosystem, it lies far to the right on the political spectrum, focused on purity of race as much as of Bodily Fluids. Thus it was not an entire surprise to learn that the persecution of Mrs Thyer is all the fault of Teh Joos.

By now our attention has refocused on Mr Crane, a person of interest to Riddled on account of his career as an impresario of Conspiracy performance. He is hand-in-glove [insert "body-appendage-in-receptacle" metaphor of your choice] with the National Health Foundation, who recognise his "Codex Alimentarius" contributions to their campaign against food-purity / supplement-safety regulations, for he is all about the freedom of supplement pimps to lie about their products without unfair fact-checking. But his interests range farther than that; few pies on the Alt-Reality buffet are left un-fingered, and Crane is also ringmaster of the annual "Alternative Views" Conspiracy Circus.

In its attitude towards the coming Crapocalypse [when eschatology and scatology merge], the tone of this year's AV10 fluctuates between an anxious "Oh Noes, wolf-time, axe-time, the World Descends into Chaos!" and glee at the immanence of the Eschaton: "Huzzah, we brought the world into confusion, now is our chance to reap the whirlwind!" Including a self-congratulatory brag-narök mishmash of Snowball-Effect / Tipping-Point / 100-Monkeys metaphors.

Just look at the line-up of speakers. Did you ever see such a parade of pelf, such a charlatan charivari?

So many passengers waiting for so few comets

Clive de Carle [top centre] is a familiar face, notable for its punchability the broad-spectrum unspecific nature of his medscam claims and activities... show Clive a bank, and he will mount it. Even the Sun think he's trash.

Found any rabbits down there?

Gemma O'Doherty [middle row] is apparently well-known in Ireland as a neo-nazi Ethnic Nationalist opinionator-turned-politician, who last year ran to be Uachtarán na hÉireann on a platform of expelling dusky people and the thieving gypsies. GO'D has gone so far down the antivax / anti-fluoridation rabbit-hole that only the soles of her feet are visible, from which position she is inciting her followers to kill critics of her brand of med-fraud (e.g. friend-of-Riddled Fiona O'Leary), I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP.

Oh hi there Horwood House, are you sure you want to be the venue for these people? Do your facilities include their kind of beerhall?

According to Ms O'Doherty, the mass-murder in Christchurch was a False Flag operation, staged by the Deep State Globalists to cast blame on innocent Ethnic Nationalists. It only takes days for conspiracists to conduct in-depth forensic examinations of crime scenes on the other side of the world and discern The Truth concealed by NZ media and experts... details are not crucial, what matters is the existence of a arvey-versey narrative for any enormity; the alternative would be to leave consensus reality unchallenged, and that would set a dangerous precedent.

The Christchurch mass-murder is so easy to explain, it is a pity that none of these parasites bothered to predict it. Other Conspiracist perspectives include:

(ii) it didn't happen at all, but was faked by Crisis Actors; and
(iii) it did happen and ideally was just the first of many such events.

According to Ian Crane, (iv) it was staged by Teh Joos (to punish New Zealand for being insufficiently supportive of Israel).



Crane himself may or may not be a raging antisemite... opinions differ. As a career grifter, Crane's first responsibility is to say whatever will convince his customers that he is the Expert, with insider access, the man who sees through the Veil of Delusion, the man they should pay for insights into what goes on behind the scenes. To that end he will feed them Protocols-of-the-Elders-of-Zion Rothschilds-run-everything antisemitism some of the time, and rabid white-genocide islamophobia the rest of the time. Consistency is not an important criterion.

It is tempting to think of Ian Crane, Gemma O'Doherty, and the other speakers arguing over these incompatible beliefs, but cognitive dissonance is unknown to conspiracists. They are vast, they contain multitudes, and there is plenty of room in their heads for contradicting views because so little else is going on there.

No mention of the Reverse Vampires. I am disappoint

Readers may enjoy this other Crane tweet in which Jacinda Adern receives (A) a CV upgrade from "working in the PM's Cabinet Office for a time, while never meeting the PM" to "Policy Advisor to War Criminal Tony Blair"; and (B) a personal upgrade from being a woman, to a transvestite (this comes as a surprise to those of us who have seen her breast-feeding her baby).

Evidently the Paranoid Ideation life-style includes a subculture who get off on fantasising that all female politicians are really blokes in disguise, and vice versa; and Crane feels compelled to pander to these paraphiliacs (also he's garbage). I eagerly await the follow-up tweet, revealing that Paddles - the polydactyl Prime Ministerial cat, much-loved but died tragically young for car-related reasons - was really a disguised Pomeranian, assassinated by the Derp State to keep the secret suppressed.

Despite the sense of impending victory at AV10, it has not been a good time for the the GcMAF sector of the Alt-Med economy. In addition to Lynda Thyer, Heinz Reinwald has received his share of Riddled attention. He is currently receiving the attention of a Bavarian court, with a possible 10-year sentence.

[h/t transgallaxys, R. James Bilton]