Monday, May 10, 2010

Situation vacant

The Swiss Center for Affective Sciences (SCAS) and the Geneva Neuroscience Center invite applications for a position as

*Engineer in Virtual Reality specialized in Cubic or Spheric Immersive Systems*

* *The successful candidate is expected to develop and implement a virtual cubic or spherical immersive system in the Brain and Behavior Laboratory (BBL) at the University of Geneva, which will be used in scientific experiments by researchers from different disciplines working on affective and cognitive phenomena, and in association with other studies in neuroscience and psychology.

The successful candidate should have an interest and relevant experience in such virtual systems and be able to program 3D interfaces. The candidate will also be involved in the development of the system.
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Perhaps some of you people have experience in an immersive system that is not a bathtub.
Especially not a bathtub that is currently half-full of lampreys.
Memo to self: Do not buy any more raffle tickets from Another Kiwi.

UPDATE: Bonus immersive system from Locus Solus:
In reality, as we realized when we were nearby, the diamond was simply an enormous container filled with water. There could be no doubt but that some unusual element had entered into the imprisoned liquid's composition, for it was this rather than the walls of the glass that gave forth all the radiance, whose presence could be detected throughout its depth.

With one's eyes placed against any of the facets, the interior of the container could be scanned in a single circular glance.

In the centre, a slender, graceful woman, in a flesh-coloured costume, was standing upright on the bottom, completely submerged. Swaying her head gently from side to side, she struck many attitudes full of aesthetic charm. Her lips wore a gay smile and she seemed to be breathing freely in the liquid element which enveloped her on every side. [...]
Also immersed in the diamond-shaped tank are a pink shaven Siamese cat, the dissected face and brain of Danton, and a team of trained sea-horses. Surely this is exactly what the Swiss Center for Affective Sciences and the Geneva Neuroscience Center are after.

15 comments:

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Spheric Immersive Systems

Hmm... sounds like a congeries of iridescent bubbles... they're setting the applicant up as a sacrifice to Yog Sototh!

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I believe my blog aptly demonstrates my interest and experience in the field of orb science, and thus I submit same as my job application.

P.S. How much does it pay?
~

Smut Clyde said...

I still vividly remember encountering the word "congeries" in Damon Knight's "Beyond the Barrier". Also, my lawn, get off it.

"The salary will be determined according to the official salary scales of the University of Geneva and the candidate's competences."

Substance McGravitas said...

*Engineer in Virtual Reality specialized in Cubic or Spheric Immersive Systems*

Is the premise here that the subjects are surviving the environment?

mikey said...

I should like to apply for this position as I have unusual capabilities that I can bring to bear on the whole immersion chamber issue. Thank you for your time.
Thou art God.

Sincerely;
Valentine Michael Smith

J— said...

I'd consider applying if it were the Sciences of Affectivity Center of Switzerland (SACS).

Smut Clyde said...

The one thing I learned from Altered States is not to meddle in immersive systems, for there are some things that man was Not Meant to Know.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

The one thing I learned from Altered States is not to meddle in immersive systems, for there are some things that man was Not Meant to Know.

cue Peter Graves soliloguy.

mikey said...

Oh, bay bee. Let me attest, and re attest to the previous statement that there are some things man should not know.

Here's the problem, bunny. They lead us by the nose and TEACH us the very things they should be hiding under their skits. Skirts. Skoal.

They sent a couple million kids to a land where the law of the gun was the law of the land. They showed these kids the limits of law, and the power of hell. The little brass cylinders give a kid from Kansas the same power as a historic monarch or an elected despot. 9 angry americans in a Bradley can own a significant piece of territory, simply by way of offering death as an alternative to agreement.

Now they're here. And we sell them weapons as we offer them meds. We say "that was there, that was then, just calm down and integrate". But there are no jobs, there is no integration, there are only night sweats and increasing anger. And for all the rich kids in the eight fucking thousand dollar suits and the sweet Mercedes coupes, how well are you going to do when all these broken young men with ONE FUCKING skill come for what you have? You think you can hire a militia that can stop what we spent billions to start? You think the world is your oyster? You might just find it's hard to swallow whole...

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

And for all the rich kids in the eight fucking thousand dollar suits and the sweet Mercedes coupes, how well are you going to do when all these broken young men with ONE FUCKING skill come for what you have?

Problem is, mikey, those sweet Mercedes coupes owners (and to put a finer point on it, their employers) have spent their money well. They've bought Congress, and they've bought our media.

So when the folks you speak of go out to blow shit up, it's the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building that gets it, not Halliburton Headquarters or Northrop Grumman.
~

ckc (not kc) said...

Congress
congeries
conger eels

...coincidence? I think not!

ckc (not kc) said...

The successful candidate is expected to develop and implement a virtual cubic or spherical immersive system
...
The candidate will also be involved in the development of the system.


...The Swiss - cautious? or forgetful?

mikey said...

So when the folks you speak of go out to blow shit up, it's the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building that gets it, not Halliburton Headquarters or Northrop Grumman.

I don't have a whole lot to bet, but if I was a betting man, I'd bet the reactions I'm talking about are a whole lot more personal than a building or a symbol. It's called coming home to ask for what we're OWED. And we know who has the wherewithal to write that check...

fish said...

I have a colleague that is actually qualified for the job.

fish said...

In the centre, a slender, graceful woman, in a flesh-coloured costume, was standing upright on the bottom, completely submerged. Swaying her head gently from side to side, she struck many attitudes full of aesthetic charm. Her lips wore a gay smile and she seemed to be breathing freely in the liquid element which enveloped her on every side.

Is she single? I'm asking for a friend.