Saturday, May 15, 2010

We're missing an "Iron Butterfly lyrics" tag

Meet the cuddly little Hawai'ian caterpillar Hyposmocoma molluscivora, stalking its prey, land snails of the genus Tornatellides. This carnivorous caterpillar uses its silk not only to trap the snail, but also to hold open the operculum so it can stretch into the shell and devour the snail alive.

I for one am convinced that children would be delighted and entranced by a revised, carnivorous version of The Very Hungry Caterpillar. Eric Carle's lawyers are not encouraging.

"That business with the silk is charmingly spider-like," said Mauricio Santos-Lobos, author of The Spider Glyph in Time, when I told him about this down at the pub. "But it's not the real thing. Don't you have any actual arachnid news?" Old fever-wracked Santos-Lobos has a one-track mind.

"I'll see what I can do." He was buying, after all.

The fact is that the ancestors of H. molluscivora would simply knock on a snail's shell and call out "Candy-gram for Tornatellides!", waiting for it to open its operculum, but the snails soon evolved defenses against this trick.

17 comments:

ckc (not kc) said...

...the creepy crawlies are all very interesting, but what ambition could Org harbour that would lead him to scheme-devising activities in the vicinity of giant spiders?

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

ckc (not kc), I surmise that Org has been cursed with a morbid fear of elephants all his life.

The solution to his dilemma suddenly appears on the top of a tree.

Defflo: I'm defflo right about this.
~

mikey said...

Do you MIND???

I'm busy over here trying to devise some scheme to achieve my ambition, and you're over there with your spiders and your caterpillar and your beer and peanuts and lawn darts.

Gimme a damn break, willya?

ckc (not kc) said...

(and those spiders aren't harmful - they belong to the Indian Army Medical Corps)

ckc (not kc) said...

qv

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

The team wants to know why this strange caterpillar lives only in Hawaii.

Stoopid French caterpillar, living in Hawaii!

tigris said...

Gimme a damn break, willya?

Tornatellides only pawn in game of life.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

spiders and your caterpillar and your beer and peanuts and lawn darts.

sounds like mikey is peeved he wasn't invited.

Somebody grab a bottle of Sailor Jerry's and go bring him over, willya? Stand to the side of the door, the first couple of shots will be just above the doorknob.

Smut Clyde said...

Whisky-gram for mikey!

Smut Clyde said...

but what ambition could Org harbour

To rule all Jungleland. Doh.

Jennifer said...

Nice.

mikey said...

Hey, did I ever tell you guys about the time I met Fantomah at a convention in Reno?

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Jungle Woman has convenient access to a full service hairdressing salon.

I regrat Nothing! Nothing!

Smut Clyde said...

the time I met Fantomah at a convention in Reno

Is this one of those stories about your ex?

mikey said...

Oh FUCK.

I'm having a traumatic flashback.

I will NOT be held responsible for any random gunfire emanating from my abode tonight...

Another Kiwi said...

Has anyone seen Fantomah and Anne Coulter in a room at the same time???

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

...and if they have, kindly keep it to yourself.

Pinko's invocation of the Human Centipede is quite enough to deal with for one weekend.