So you're at the water-cooler yacking around (in my building this is called "Huddled Around the Radiator" but never mind) when some one says "Gee Waldo, what do you think of the chances of the Dutch in the World Cup?"
Of course you freeze, like a wombat in the freezer, and say "Well since the goalden days of Van Basten, Gullit and Rijkhard they have been a pale shadow of their former selves but with some luck they may do all right." Or not. So as a valuable guide to the Soccer World Cup we bring you the
Riddled Guide to the World Cup
1. It's on now
2. Very few people have been killed in it and no oil spills have been reported in it.
3. It's quite the game in some parts of the world, oh yes, quite the game.
4. In two months time I will have trouble remembering it. "Oh that Cup thing, yes it was on in that place wasn' t it?"
5. Sadly it is not run for the sole benefit of England any more. Many other people have been allowed to win it.
6. Many fascinating geopolitical dramas will be played out on the football field, many sociological observations will be made. Or not.
7. The old saying that the World Cup is a month of games played for 90 minutes by 32 teams of eleven players and the Germans win is probably not going to be true.
8. World production levels will be noticeably lowered during the tournament only to rise again when people discover that they have neglected to feed themselves and their families for a month.
9. The Football International Football Association or FIFA, the world governing body, will make off with 12 billion and South Africa who is hosting it will get love and respect.
10. New Zealand was robbed!!!
11. Raffle tickets bought from S.Clyde in the Plumbers and Gasfitters bar of the Old Entomologist may not actually entitle one to meet the New Zealand soccer team.
Monday, June 28, 2010
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20 comments:
We had one of them in the United Snakes sometime in the '90s. Memory otherwise weak.
"Like a wombat in a freezer"
A.K. knows how to coin a phrase.
~
Thank you for this!! I know so much more now!!
But, what's with picking on the Germans? They played some good soccer the other day. In that one game, against the other team.
**ok, I fully admit, I had to ask someone "What color shirts am I supposed to be cheering for?"
tigris wins one internet.
Von,I agree with teh Germans playing well. They sliced up the Roast Beefs all right. But they are up against the Argentinians next and I think that this will be too much for them.The Argies are playing quite well and the final will be between the Brazilians and them.
Tigris, that is one catchy tune. It is the weirdest thing to be watching Football feeling as though one lives in a beehive.
AK, why do you hate America? Shouldn't you just watch baseball, like all good-hearted, God-fearing folk?
Except those swarthy Latin types!
AHEM!!
Raffle tickets bought from S.Clyde [...] may not actually entitle one to meet the New Zealand soccer team.
The small print is quite explicit about entitling the winner to talk to the All Whites with no mention of them talking back, or indeed being physically present.
Tigris, that is one catchy tune.
Any chance of rescoring it for a string quartet?
Eerily, the Lego World Cup has the same result for England vs Germany.
Quartetified
That may be the greatest picture I have ever seen.
you have to take pictures when you meet the NZ football team!
your list was leaving out about how the english drank up all the beer and the dutch rented out all the camoping equipment.
I think that music deserves it's own post tigris. It is a thing of great beauty
Forgive me, I'm new to this whole blogging thing, but does the significant eyebrow waggle mean I should post something or that you will?
significant eyebrow waggle
Could just be an accident with an electric shock to the wrong muscle.
I hope a series of still photographs was captured for posterity.
Oh yeah the eye wiggle, well if you'd spent 5 years in a Japanese P.O.W. camp or even if I had then we could talk about eye wiggles.
You should post it tigris, it is your find and a darn good one.
Can't speak for others, but my eyebrow does that on its own. Makes me angry sometimes. Once I shaved it off. Showed that motherfucker.
But it did it anyway, and with one eyebrow I looked more dangerous than just crazy and they took me 5150.
Which isn't so bad, but there's no hot chix and I don't need another tea cozy and Debby Travis' facelift scares the crap outta me.
Can I just have my pills now, ma'am?
I don't want to watch Sean Hannity on the tee vee...
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