Friday, July 16, 2010

Midwinter up at Ohakune

-- and the brussels-sprout harvest draws to a close. This is the season when the locals select and crown a Brussels Sprouts Queen, and lay down huge casks of potent, faintly-psychoactive wine made from fermenting the brassica in question. Seven days later they will sacrifice the Queen amid scenes of unbridled orgiastic revelry, fuelled by the last of last years' vintage, to ensure the fertility of the fields come next spring.
Among the activities for the day was the children's costume parade, which featured future growers dressed like veggies. There were numerous carrots, a cauliflower and two little Brussels sprouts.
The townspeople are an ancient inbred race. Visitors are warned not to take issue with the old ways to which they cling with such solemnity, at risk of finding themselves at the centre of a 'Sprouting' ceremony.

19 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Diabolical Carrot Fiend plots his next move.
~

Jennifer said...

And here I thought it might the carrot guru might actually be SC.

Jennifer said...

And here I thought I could type/speak before 2 cups of coffee.

WRONG.

The previous comment should have said:

And here I thought the carrot guru might actually be SC.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Definitely not Stephen Colbert.

Jennifer said...

No I understand... they. They were pulled from their slumber by the commands of the carrot guru.

Jennifer said...

Ok, fuck it... I can't comment today, no matter how much damn coffee.

I should have gone straight to alcohol.

guitarist manqué said...

But what about the cilantro?

Another Kiwi said...

Go the 'Kune
The guy in the picture is The Carrot Man who goes around on Carrot night leaving gifts for kids. A carrot if they've been good, a Playstation Slimline if they've been bad. It's known as planting evidence in other towns.

fish said...

carrot is NZ slang for dildo.

tigris said...

You say slang, I say alternative folkways of agricultural peoples.

fish said...

LOL

Smut Clyde said...

thought the carrot guru might actually be SC.

No resemblance at all.

Jennifer said...

Were those lounging pajamas??

Also... that photo contains a significant resemblance to this (top photo... not bottom).

gregor samsa said...

*shiver*

I used to think that staining at the bottom of the Ohakune carrot statue was rust but now I wonder if it isn't blood!!??!?!

Willy said...

The get-down, tie-down challenge was won by Jeremy Mott

This does not seem vegetable-related in the least.

Another Kiwi said...

Jeepers, one hopes not

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

If he'd worn a creel, he wouldn't have had to dangle his prey from his hat.

Alternately, he's angling for lagomorphs. Bunnies, check those carrots for hooks!

Dragon-King Wangchuck said...

Pffft, like that could possibly be for reals. Wanganui Chronicle? LOL!

Smut Clyde said...

Alternately, he's angling for lagomorphs.

This is a common error, but the fact is that bunnies are not aquatic. He is more likely to catch a coypu. If he is dragged under and consumed by a capybara then SERVES HIM RIGHT.