Monday, July 12, 2010

Valerie's got the needle but she always makes him plead

For as long as there have been vaccination programs, there have been Anti-Vaccination Societies, fighting to protect the purity of their families' bodily fluids.

Right from the start, a key concern for the anti-immunisers has been the animal origin of most of the vaccines; people seem to fear that this might somehow contaminate their own Essence... breaking down the boundaries between species... germ-plasm... cats and dogs living together... As Mary Douglas wrote in Purity and Danger,
Buggrit. As I was about to say,
Reading Respectful Insolence* reveals a recrudescence of this magical-thinking anxiety. Oh noes, some manufacturers recalled their vaccines when they found contamination with porcine and simian viruses! Foreign DNA is entering our bloodstreams! Our organismic integrity has been ruptured, the schemata of the human body will crumble!

Spies within the movement have sent us a sneak preview of the cover of the next anti-vaccine book.

* Not recommended if your face happens to be allergic to your palm, for the trolls who lurk in Orac's comment threads are jaw-droppingly stupid and resistant to arguments.
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Bonus Quackery advice

Any Riddled readers thinking of pursuing this line of bullshit should be careful of the high standards set in the past. To carve out a name for yourself in the anti-vaccine field, you'll have to do better than R.B. Pearson and Philip Schush, Jr.

We find Pearson in 1938, publishing a pamphlet that blames vaccines for causing cancer. The logic is insidiously plausible:
[...] cancer cells, the “animal-pus biologicals” are “equivalent to the cells of an animal lower down in the evolutionary scale…I believe they actually are cells from the tissues of a lower animal introduced into the human body in the guise of various biologicals”.
Philip Schush, Jr. gets extra credit for entrepreneurial vision: the claim "that cancer was caused by germs in vaccines" led naturally to the possibility of curing cancer with Limburger cheese poultices and Radio-Sulpho sulphuretted-hydrogen fluid.

15 comments:

Willy said...

I prefer radium-laced elixirs for their energizing lift.

Also, Jenny McCarthy has it all over these 'doctors'. She'll have none of those thimerosal-protected vaccines. Didya know that there's mercury innem? Hush, child, eat your tuna sammich.

fish said...

Philip Schush, Jr. gets extra credit for entrepreneurial vision: the claim "that cancer was caused by germs in vaccines"

He was just ahead of his time.

Substance McGravitas said...

A homeopathic vaccine should produce ambulatory cancers that could be an aid against the Zombie Menace.

El Snacktator said...

Fortunately El is immune to all of this.

J— said...

Ha, that advisory box ("Are you sure…?") is great.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

should produce ambulatory cancers...

too late. Rush Limbaugh already exists.

mikey said...

Ok, see, now THATS messed up. Dood's got sheep on his tits, heads on his elbows and knees, eyebrows that would lead SMUT to reach for the tweezers, yet another example of a set of anthropomorphic abdominals (what is UP with that???), a long, turgid nose but no junk at ALL, and webbed, clawed hands and feet. I can't even imagine how you got the Jimson weed to that level of purity. Christ on a Zimmer Frame.


Also...

Substance McGravitas said...

Valerie's got the needle

Margo's got the cargo and Reggie's got the rig.

Smut Clyde said...

webbed, clawed hands and feet

Bird feet are a Riddled tradition.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

missed the BOC lyrics tag.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

I swear, the quality control here has gone right down the tubes.

I want a refund.

Another Kiwi said...

Sir, we don't have quality, therefore there is no control, Sir!

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

plus, you call zombies Sir.

tigris said...

plus, you call zombies Sir.

Please accept our apologies, Madam.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

how can you tell on the internet?


It's because I've been banned from 3Bulls, isn't it?