Sunday, July 11, 2010

Erratum

In Spurious Conditions of the Lower Extremities, the latest volume of Bernouli's Encyclopedia of Imaginary Diseases, these three pictures were used to demonstrate the process of L'Orme's Bifurcating Polymelia, which starts at the hands and works progressively up the arms.

We have since been informed that the second image actually depicts the Busking Boëthius Brothers of Bamberg, Norman and Gregor, posing as a multi-limbed Indian deity in order to sneak onto public transport while only paying a single fare. The imposture is not wholly convincing but they are relying on the nice rocks in the background to divide the conductor's attention. On behalf of the Encyclopedia's Editorial Board I would like to apologise for any offense caused by the misattribution. The intern responsible for the error is now an extern.

Here three frogs are pretending to be a single 7-legged amphibian, with the extra legs caused by regeneration gone wrong. They are trying to board the Bamberg #117 tram despite a bylaw of the Franconian public-transport network which limits the number of efts, newts, salamanders and hellbenders to no more than one per passenger.

When initially imposed in 1617, the law banned newts and frogs altogether in line with a blanket no-demonic-familiars policy (with an exception for seeing-eye hellspawn). However, this clashed with the local custom of heading out into the hills around Bamberg on weekends for a family barbecue with a salamander as the centrepiece of the meal. Thus the current bylaw is a compromise. The 1618 Salamander Riots are still enshrined in town tradition and re-enacted every year with a street procession from the Klosterbräu brewpub to the Brauerei Spezial.
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16 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Is that salamander going to be well done?
~

ckc (not kc) said...

...you can't fool me - that's George Bush trying to eat a pretzel!

Substance McGravitas said...

I would like to apologise for any offense caused by the misattribution.

Once again the typos abound, and apologies for indecent acts are simply not enough.

J— said...

Bloody Belgian necromancers.

fish said...

Okay, seeing eye hellspawn is just hilarious.

merc said...

Second that.

Smut Clyde said...

Bloody Belgian necromancers.
He does a good puppet show.

Another Kiwi said...

I think that the examples that the Good Herr Doktor shows us, underline the dangers and hazards of putting Taq Polymerase into the water supply. I said no good would come of it.

Smut Clyde said...

Water contamination is only one theory among many. The dromozoan-infestation theory is older but no-one has ruled it out yet.

mikey said...

My theory is that the Zimmer Frame, appropriately insulated from ground by the tattered tennis balls on the forward-facing feet (no, no, that is most certainly NOT a yoga position, and if you try it, I'll NOT be responsible for the damage to your furniture) is receiving microwave bursts from galactic sources (yes, students, Sagittarius A would be a good place to start), amplifying them and re-transmitting them on particular genetically damaging frequencies at much higher power (all you 12 steppers and twelver shiites can go now) resulting in limbic reproduction and unusual manifestations such as neighbors without trousers. All of which is perfectly normal and need not be explored further...

tigris said...

I need better neighbors if trouserlessness is in the offing, so to speak.

Smut Clyde said...

The Offing? You have a special room for trouser removal?

tigris said...

Wait, doesn't everyone?

Smut Clyde said...

Must not forget teh Greenslade version.
Of course using Roger Dean images is the start of the slippery slope down to linking to Yes videos.

fish said...

Bloody Belgian necromancers.
He does a good puppet show.


The show is not as funny as it sounds.

Smut Clyde said...

resulting in limbic reproduction and unusual manifestations such as neighbors without trousers

We defer to mikey's expertise in the Zimmer-frame-related area.