Thursday, August 26, 2010

The Ethics Comittee rang...

Part of the joy of working in the Riddled Research Park is the collegiality of it all. Imagine our surprise when Champion Owl Breeder Evangeline van Holsteren asked for advice in the treatment of inattentiveness in Grand Plumitarge of Devonshire Mount Jintery III or "Gimpy" as his  Hootery name is.
After preliminary investigations we discovered and reported back thusly
1. "Gimpy" is an aggressive little bastard, no end!
2. He is bored
This enabled us to offer a free treatment of our still-in-development-and-not-dangerous Intello Ray. Whilst Gimpy might not be happy in his current part of the Hootery, a smidgen more intelligence might rouse his curiosity and other parts that a chap doesn't talk about.
We coupled the treatment with extract of Liver pills thinking that the extra brain power might need more energy and that would need more muscle tone. And, of course it worked

Although some might say that we overdid the Liver extract pills a tad. Great advances in science are not achieved without some collateral damage and one can't make an omelet without breaking some eggs. Although that is not an expression we use around here any more.

8 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Now that you've raised Owlzilla, your cities will be razed.
~

merc said...

Liver ethics blogging, nuff said.

laria, a really squawky man sheila?

M. Bouffant said...

Damn eggheads!

mikey said...

Odd you should fail to mention that the suddenly intelligent, not to mention HUGE Owl appears to have invented a toaster that is also a flashlight.

This fills a need extant in modern western culture for decades, at least, and the fact that the giant predatory bird designed the toaster portion around his requirement for whole toasted Baguettes only adds to the awe-inspiring brilliance of the undertaking.

Sadly, no less than I, your humble correspondent from the third-world debacle and failed state that used to be proudly known as California, came within inches (literally) of beating (stay with me here) the feathered inventor to this very useful development. After the consumption of large amounts of Sailor Jerry's Spiced Rum, I went looking for the Fleshlight, as my girlfriend the supermodel was unfortunately indisposed that evening, picking up my hand-tooled leather boots in Spain. In my somewhat debilitated condition, however, I found in my grasp the toaster rather than the ersatz girlfriend, and might have suffered permanent damage to my nether regions had it been plugged in (no, to the AC Power, smartypants) at the time...

Kathleen said...

someone put a monocle and top hat on the owl

Smut Clyde said...

Like this?

I found in my grasp the toaster rather than the ersatz girlfriend

Yet when I quote J.G. Ballard on the subject of sex with toasters, everyone looks at me like I'm weird.

Willy said...

The Intello Ray appears to be beaming pr0n into Gimpy's brain, priming him for carnal relations with a pea-hen (I know this on account of her pimp's plumage, gone unnoticed by the entranced Gimpy.)

Is this how the Kiwi came to be?!

Another Kiwi said...

Patrons should be aware of the sterling work done by Substance McGravitas in animating the adventures of Gimpy.