We may be losing The Hobbit overseas but at least we still have Michael Lhaws

When Michael announced in June that he would be standing down as mayor of Whanganui in order to spend more time with his families, great was the despondency across the length and breadth across New Zealand, especially among the occupants of neighbouring towns, who have often consoled themselves with the thought that they couldn't be the biggest knobheads in the country as long as Whanganui kept re-electing him.

But it's all right; he is now a Whanganui district Councillor, and is sending out if anything more press releases than he emitted when still the mayor, most of them denying the legitimacy of Annette Main, his replacement. He had previously anointed his deputy mayor to be his hand-picked successor [Michael Laws has previous experience with sock-puppets], while welcoming Main's candidacy as "giv[ing] people a clear choice for October", so he was not well-pleased when voters chose the wrong way.

Compared to the super-majority landslide victory of 43% he himself won back in his first mayoral campaign back in 2004,

"Annette Main, with 36 per cent of the vote, has no mayoral mandate," he told the Wanganui Chronicle. [...]
Mr Laws said he had not heard from Ms Main since Saturday's election.
"It is the job of the incoming mayor to contact councillors - not the other way round - and I performed that same role in 2004 and 2007."

NO-ONE PUTS BABY IN A CORNER. ATTENTION MUST BE PAID.

Michael has promised to "work with anyone, elected or unelected, who is dedicated to the best interests of Wanganui"; this sounds vaguely as if he will set up a Council-in-Exile in conjunction with the rejected councillors and mayoral candidates, but perhaps he has something more benign in mind.

Suspicious minds are already betting on how long it will take him to set up Facebook pages under a range of false names to rally opposition to the illegitimate Main regime.

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Recent outbreaks of Lhaws-related hilarity include his announcement to the media back in August about his relationship with an unsuitable woman from another social class, in which he claimed that a nebulous left-wing conspiracy was about to release details of their time together and copies of the salacious texts* they exchanged (in order to destroy his non-existent political career), thus obliging him to step in first and release the details preemptively. She was not well-pleased.

* Really, no-one wants to read the details of Michael Laws' sex-life. Particularly not this:

Meanwhile, a mystery brunette caused a stir when appearing to perform an intimate act on Laws at the table in a posh Auckland restaurant while he dined with several media stars.
Onlookers were shocked at their actions at Toto restaurant in central Auckland last year.
The encounter took place in May last year at a dinner attended by Marcus Lush, Martin Devlin, Willie Jackson, John Tamihere, Maggie Barry, Karyn Hay and then-Mediaworks boss Brent Impey.
[...]
Those seated at the same table as Laws were said to be aware the act was taking place but ignored it as they didn't want to make a scene.