Here at Riddled we are acknowledged experts in the field of rehabilitating disembodied hands. However, the contract to retrain the Invisible Hands of the Market -- signed with the Department of Corrections, Erasers and Condign Use of Wite-Out -- is not progressing well. They are showing no interest in adopting any form of socially-productive labour.
Part of the problem is the whole not-being-seen business; these hands think they can get away with anything. We tried flinging around a few bags of flour to cling to the hands and expose their escapades -- this worked so well in The Saliva Tree -- but the characters of The Saliva Tree did not have to deal with Evangeline Van Holsteren, head barwoman at the Old Entomologist, who looks askance at flour-related activities.
So instead we have taken a leaf from the orb-photography people's book and invested in motion-detecting infra-red cameras around the place.
Well this first photograph is not a good look: the hands are all flashing gang signs and spelling out rude words in British Sign alphabet. I can only hope that the Department of Corrections, Erasers and Condign Use of Wite-Out does not catch wind of this. The scene does not greatly resemble the feel-good artist's rendition that featured in our tender for the contract.
Monday, January 31, 2011
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8 comments:
Woo Hoo the "Many Hands make light work of wallets" contract with Wringling brothers Circus looks like it's going to go ahead. April in Paree for us, Smut
A leaf here and a leaf there, and pretty soon there's not much of a book left for The People.
I tell you, The Man is at it again. With his Man Hands.
~
Ms Van Holsterin probably knows about flour bombs which are lots of fun for everybody except whoever owns the building.
http://www.google.com/search?aq=0&oq=flour+ex&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&q=flour+explosion
There's still fun to be had. Give them watches and drinks and then ask them what time it is.
The U.S. Department of Justice has a task force to prevent the sex trafficking of invisible, disembodied hands during Superbowl week- the unseen epidemic.
Disembodied hands, confused.
I had another look
And I had a cup of tea
And Butter Pie.
BUTTERPIE!
__________
(Fill in the blank)
Dammit.
It appears I forgot one whole entire line about non-melting butter and it's uses.
Quickly. More Sailor Jerry's.
STAT!
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