Saturday, February 19, 2011

Headbone / Neckbone interconnectedness

St. Pismire Lychfield Badger-Baiting & Outdoor Play-Hous (contains no plague victimmes) is pleased to present the neue Play-wyth-Musick, "The Colossus of Ylourgne", fresh from a sell-out tour of Paris and the Holy Roman Imperium and Essex. Tickettes from the usual let-outs. Halve-price for womyn and clerisy.

Here is a skene from Acte II when the Assembled Bones of the Colossus take turns to sing abowt the Names of the Parish whence each hath come.* They alle yclept proper Englysh names like Osgiliath. As you see the Speech-Baubbles alle looke lyke Bandages but that is a Deliberate Stylistick choyce and not be-cause Speech Baubble conventions are still in Status Fluxus. There is a nadditional verse y-sung by a Baculum but it is roode and will only be performed on Freyday no-womyn nights.

St. Pismire Lychfield management rejects any suggestion that Andrew Lloyd-Wwebber esquire (who wrot the Musick) is a Plagiarite who stole the conceipt from Geoffrey Chaucer esquire his 'Parlement of Foules'. Chaucer esquire is a Hous-of-Aquitania-loving Cosmopolitan who writes in French-style "riming couplettes" and we do not rate for hym; Lloyd-Wwebber esquire writes in Proper Englysh Alliterative verse skeme and we kno which our Proper Englysh Audience will becredence. Any way Chaucer esquire stole the conceipt hymselfe from Farid ud-Din Attar. & he makes Jokes about Fartes & Pewp.

* Picture not for unauctorised reproduction wythout Leave: King Edward does not look charitably wyth eleemosynary gestures upon Print Piracy, or Black-letter Buccaneers, or Caxtonian Corsairs.

13 comments:

mikey said...

Ok, sure and he's got rivets in his chin, each of his vertebrae are numbered in binary (confusingly, each as binary one, but we'll leave that aside for now), he's got 16 bit embedded processors (with onboard cache, I'd venture) in his feet, and I have NO idea what's going on with his junk except to wonder if there is some specific beneficial mutations resulting from extensive soccer play - Kiwi might weigh in here.

But the post itself is a goldmine. It remains only for us to name the form and start a website for it. LOLSkel is too simple. I'm personally partial to LOLPoitiers, but even I'll admit it's a stretch from your post to the Black Knight.

LOLMiddle-Aged-inthe-Middle-Ages is kinda funny, but unwieldy, and LOLBlackDeath seems unsympathetic to a Republican Party degree.

So I'm gonna suggest you go with LOLMonarchs - it gives you maximum flexibility and think of the hilarity that might flow from George V and the House of Saxe-Coburg (or you could call it Saxe-Cobag to amuse the three bulls set)...

Smut Clyde said...

Geoffrey Chaucer hath a Blog

Another Kiwi said...

Sirr, I amm a longge tyme reedar of your blogge soe was verily pleesed to see thatte it wass to be knowe a playye or direlog in publick.
Imagyne my dissapoyntement uppon seeing know yung laydes divesting of therre clothyng!
Yun canne onlie assume yu have know noledge of paphomence artistree.
Iffe I wishe to see skelyngtonnes I shalle goe to thee dyewerks! Sirr.

vacuumslayer said...

he makes Jokes about Fartes & Pewp

I hope you have a good lawyer, SIR. "Pewp" is trademarked. Pewp™

See?

ckc (not kc) said...

(something -something) dum-de-dum-dum clerisy,
dada-de-dum-dum diddle-diddle pleurisy!

..Noel Coward, eat your heart out!

Another Kiwi said...

Mikey,that guy appears to have been armoured for playing cricket. Note double rivets down the scrotal axis (our second album "Bad Knees" out on Earwig records yesternoon.)
I just might add that Urination amelioration was in its infancy at the time of The Birth of Cricket.

Whale Chowder said...

Halve-price for womyn and clerisy.

I have no use for clerisy (or pleurisy or other afflictions) but I'll happily take a woman at half price.

Also: Scrotal Axis is an awesome band name.

mikey said...

Also: Scrotal Axis is an awesome band name.

Gonna have to know a little more about the band first.

'Cause if Scrotal Axis is fronted by an all Ziggy Stardust lookin mofo, it ain't gonna work.

Likewise, if you get some Axl type who has a great voice but who is essentially a pussy, your fraudulence, not to mention your flatulence comes out before the second album.

But don't think you can dance around what is essentially a marketing problem by hiring a woman to front the band. Because c'mon, a woman fronting Scrotal Axis? Remember L7? How bout Babes in Toyland? See?

Hokay. Down to cases. What you need is some kid mis-cast in a metal band, like that Fuel kid. I'm not saying you can just pull another Matchbox20 outta your ass, but look at the talent in Rancid and tell me you couldn't have made them a mainstream success if they just woulda listened.

Y'know?

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I hope you have a good lawyer, SIR. "Pewp" is trademarked. Pewp™

See you, and raise.

Pewp™³²®©
~

Whale Chowder said...

Gonna have to know a little more about the band first.

Well it prolly wouldn't fit a blues band or jazz combo.

Speedmetal, post-punk, grunge are really yer ticket for this name.

Either that or some high falsetto-voice hipster Indie band, because IRONY.

fish said...

I thought Scrotal Axis was that new body spray all the kids are using.

Another Kiwi said...

Well, as manager of Norwegian Black metal band Scrotal Axes (the hardest working band in Trondheim), I would consider any naming moves very carefully if I was you

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

The duet between Gaspard du Nord and the wisecracking skull in his study is a real crowd pleasure.