"People have been working on those since 2004," I said, shaking the newspaper irritably.* "At this rate of progress we are in no immediate danger of a Robot Uprising which will reduce humanity to an oppressed remnant, farmed as a source of food for clocks and revolving lampshades."
"Will you invest in a mouse-consuming coffee table robot** for Maison d'Être, then?"
"I will not. It would not take the Frau Doktorin long to feel sorry for it and start feeding it slivers of gravy beef and my medicinal black pudding available only on prescription."
"Evangeline van Holsterin will not be having them in the Old Entomologist either," AK said. "She said something about needing the mice as a crucial ingredient for the Full-Bodied Procrastinator Doppelbock."
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If a Domestic Entertainment Robot were built as a dedicated Internizzle Browser with the fuel cell built beneath the keyboard, how much semen per day would it need for energy? Asking for a friend.* The interests of full disclosure force me to admit that I was actually reading a computer screen, but the monkey butler stands nearby and rustles a newspaper when necessary.
** May contain revolving knives.
13 comments:
I'll take one.
Well can it write blog posts?
I mean can it imagine what you would do with your blog, if you had all the time and evidence and such as. While you did something else, like fishing.
~
What I really need is a robot to swallow the fly and the spider and the bird and the cat and so on. Grandma can stay because she can knit.
Oh yes, at first it's all, "I'll get the slippers and I have rearranged your Miss Busty annuals by year and month." And the it's "I'm afraid I can't let you do that Mr. Kiwi"
Mind you a tidy house is almost worth a fight to the death every 5 years when the wiring goes bung.
Grandma can stay because she can knit.
I imagine the jumping function can be mechanised.
"Powered by microbial fuel cells that digest organic matter -- flies, moths, mice-- obtained by the robots themselves."
How about a POOP powered robot that cleans the litterbox?
medicinal black pudding
Your ideas intrigue me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
Well can it write blog posts?
Curses Moriarty the secret is out.
Sure, but what happens when the flies run out eh? I am not putting my finger (or other parts) into that thing.
At this rate of progress we are in no immediate danger of a Robot Uprising which will reduce humanity to an oppressed remnant...
Oh sure, we're safe now, but what about our children? And our robot-children, assuming the undertray semen-eating robots are carried to their logical conclusion?
Huh? WHAT THEN, MR. COMPLACENT?
Is this where I order some of the Dopplebock?
Is this where we see the colour of your money? Mr Shambler.
Money? The monkey butler said my credit was good.
If necessary, mikey will give you this hadrosaur pelvis....
spider robot money is the currency of the future
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