Saturday, October 15, 2011

Dogechism

This dog's nose is a double-barreled shotgun.
Your argument is invalid.

TOW has an entry for the Double-nosed Andean Tiger Hound. Sadly, the only evidence for the breed's existence is (a) a 1913 report from Lt-Colonel Percy Fawcett, intrepid searcher for the lost Amazonian city 'Z';¹ and (b) two dogs with this not-uncommon mutation encountered in an Amazonian, non-Andean village by Col. Blashford-Snell.²

The important thing with double-barrel-nosed dogs is not to let them drive the tractor. This accelerates the process of mutation and before you know it they have become double-barrel-nosed cybernetic genius constructors.


On the other hand, the Turkish breed of Çatalburun Pointer -- which has been selected for the split-nose trait -- is a real thing.

This is all useful to know for when you are arguing with a Creationist, and the Creationist says "Well if Evolution were real then there would be transitional forms between other mammals and multi-nosed rhinogrades!"
"GOTCHA!!" you reply.

¹ Fawcett also reported seeing giant anacondas and the Apazauca Spider.

² Blashford-Snell's other exploits include transporting a grand piano up-river into deepest Guyana, and a church pump organ to the Bolivian village of Okaji.³ This is all part of his master plan to become the subject of a Werner Herzog documentary.*

³ Ahuaramachan word meaning "Backwater hellhole where the dogs have double noses".

*
Blashford-Snell's Quixotic and so-far-unrequited quest is reportedly the subject of a documentary by Les Blank.

12 comments:

mikey said...

Look, old son, I don't mean to be difficult, but you don't seem to realize we're arguing about Uganda and Joseph Kony tonight, and this is just confusing and contributes little value...

Substance McGravitas said...

The bifurcated nose is important because one might catch a flat.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

HALPING JENNIFER!!!!one111!
~

Smut Clyde said...

HALPING JENNIFER!!!!one111!

The further you go into that Fawcett website, the weirder it gets. I have no idea whether they are taking the piss or genuinely insane.

but you don't seem to realize we're arguing about Uganda and Joseph Kony tonight

The Lord's Resistance Army wasn't really on the radar back on the day when I was reading intel for a living, so I have no special insights. Also this is a website devoted to silly-buggers, and there is not much one can say about a psychopathic mass-murderer who has used upwards of 10,000 kidnapped children for cannon-fodder.

Apart from Rush, are any of the Talevangelists backing Kony and the LRA? He certainly seems to have supporters *somewhere*.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Spaghettichism, beaches!
~

Von said...

I can has two nozed doggy?

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

This is all part of his master plan to become the subject of a Werner Herzog documentary.*

Blachefordo-Snelo is the working title.

ckc (not kc) said...

...Blashford-Snell's other exploits include transporting a grand piano up-river into deepest Guyana, and a church pump organ

1. You realize the man's a dentist? Need we way more?

2. I really like to say "church pump organ" - try it in different voices... inflections... you'll like it too

ckc (not kc) said...

Need we way more? I mean, need we?!

Another Kiwi said...

I think that there is plenty more to way about this. Way more to way. BUT WILL THE LIBRUL MEDIC?

Jennifer said...

While not a fan of firearms, I'd take a firesnout pooch.

Thudner is banned. Here I was expecting more glorious pooch photos... silly me.

Another Kiwi said...

From the Colonel Fawcett page. "A kind of Black Tarantula so large that a plate would scarcely covet it. "
Plates should not covet spiders, it isn't natural.