Message seeks Bottle for mutually-rewarding partnership

Here are the Riddled directors in the Executive Dirigible, on their way to the Fram Ship Museum in Oslo. Inspired by an Indian billionaire's whisky-marketing-related private-jet mercy dash to Christchurch, our plan was to borrow a bottle of akvavit left over from the Amundsen / Mobile polar expedition aboard the Norge, so our expert tasting panel could reverse-engineer a genuine olde-style akvavit and re-introduce it to the jaded palates of consumers willing to pay more for authenticity.

Sadly, our panel concluded that Amundsen's akvavit smells like a wet dog wrapped in cilantro and tastes just as bad, and in that respect there is no material difference from the flavour of contemporary akvavit. Equally sadly, we somehow neglected the formality of notifying the Norwegian authorities of the intended loan, so there were alarums and excursions and a breakneck dirigible chase and the unwelcome attentions of a hard-to-corrupt police force, which we were only able to circumvent by using the Riddled time machine to restore the bottle to before it had been borrowed, with level slightly lower.

Here is a Riddled Director hiding from Norwegian authorities in the one place it would never occur to them to look.

Ms. E. von Holsteren our corporate consultant has advised us to rethink our business model, re-focus on our core activities, and stop being loonies. With that in mind we will shortly bring Franklin's Authentic Gin to the market.

Authenticity!!

• A relic of Franklin's 1845 North-West Passage expedition!
• Lovingly hand-crafted to match samples recovered from his ships Erebus and Terror (last seen on an icefloe near Newfoundland; then, due to their unsinkable construction, left drifting indefinitely when the floe melted)!
• Available at a significant discount to members of the Riddled Loyalty Club.

Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought

"Franklin" Tinned Provisions from Riddled Enterprises. Each tin processed with authentic 1840s technology with lead solder and inadequate cooking time, to contain a sub-lethal dose of lead and botulism toxin.

Colonel Fawcett's Amazonian Ayahuasca Brandy. Concocted according to our own authentic Kalapalo recipe!