Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Unauthorised use of the Riddled Evolvamat

The stories are vastly exaggerated.
Also I have no idea what happened to Evangeline van Holsterin's prize-winning chicken 'Bertie'.

Also too I do not rate for Antique Olive Com as a typeface.

22 comments:

vacuumslayer said...

Doesn't look very much like a panther to me.


For Xmas this year, I'm getting you a font bundle: Comic Sans, Papyrus, and that Olive crap. YOU'RE WELCOME!!!


PS: I snuck the Evolvamat out last night. Now I have an ear on my forehead. GREAT! Now I have to get bangs. I HATE BANGS.

vacuumslayer said...

Also, I would like to request that the Riddle staff discuss more fonts that Smut doesn't like so [I can give them as gifts] avoid them.

vacuumslayer said...

The Riddled staff should do that also.

I like to start the morning by leaving a trail of misspellings on the blogs of all my friends. It's part of a complete breakfast!

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Needs more fiber, vs.
~

vacuumslayer said...

You mean liek "weeti"?

Substance McGravitas said...

Huckster biologist alert! The Evolvamat does no such thing. It's really just a little box with God in it.

mikey said...

Vertical thrusters at 70%, Captain.

Very well, Ensign. Speed and altitude?

Vertical speed 110 meters per second. Altitude 3500 meters.

Prepare main engines - orbital insertion burn.

[Loud series of banging noises, noticeable turbulence]

Sensors. Report.

Scanning now sir. Appears to be a large winged dinosaur squatting on our ship.

Squatting?

Yes sir. I think it's taking a crap, sir.

Evasive maneuvering, Ensign. I won't stand for this shit.

Uh, sir?

Report.

I might have been wrong. It may not be crapping on us.

Well, what then? Dammit, speak up, man.

I think it's trying to, well, MATE with us.

Well, I guess we're fucked then...

Smut Clyde said...

Gonna need a large quantity of water-based lube.

Jennifer said...

Egads... I thought it said Evulvamat...

Carry on...

Smut Clyde said...

I would like to request that the Riddle staff discuss more fonts that Smut doesn't like

Don't throw me in the Frutiger patch! I would really hate that!

Smut Clyde said...

Doesn't look very much like a panther to me.

Next VS will complain that this doesn't look very much like a sphere.

Linking to it anyway under the "Helping Jennifer" clause in our mission statement.

vacuumslayer said...

IT DOESN'T.

Another Kiwi said...

Antique Olive Com used to have the Cuba Street turf, I thought.

Anonymous said...

The humping dragon looks preggers to me - maybe she just wants a ride as those wings don't look strong enough to lift her tubbiness. She's saying "Home James, the old man's cooking tonight!" (Aside to self: "An' we likes 'dem little mousies, mmm hmmm!!! - 'Dem mousies what we loooves to eat! We bite dey little heads off, and nibble on dey tiny feet!!"

wiley said...

I clicked on the Olive font site and got this:


Congratulations!

You have been selected to participate in an anonymous survey. For a limited time, we are offering selected participants from Oregon an exclusive gift for participating. To begin---

I'm thinking 'NO'.

I also think you had something to do with whatever happened to whats-her-face's chicken. It's irresponsible not to speculate. Cough it up. Did it taste like chicken?

Smut Clyde said...

For a limited time, we are offering selected participants from Oregon an exclusive gift for participating.

Offer is evidently not open to participants from New Zealand. HARUMPH.

fish said...

You mean liek "weeti"?

Like Weta Bix

fish said...

Gonna need a large quantity of water-based lube.

If only we knew where to purchase such an item.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

YOU'RE WELCOME.

Smut Clyde said...

Doesn't look very much like a panther to me.
Does this look enough like an abacus?

Like Weta Bix
The topic has been covered. The judges' decision IS FINAL.

mikey said...

Oooppps.

Linky Twin Study Fail.

It's a very nice picture though.

Please carry on...

Scott Chansoder said...

I believe Bertie was seen attempting to copulate with the rocket ship belonging to a young British beat combo known as the "Darkness"