Saturday, November 26, 2011

Post election analysis with AK

Good evening citizens, from the blasted heath that is the New Zild poltical landscape we bring you up-to-date political analysis with Peter Schmeichel, former Manchester United goalkeeper, in his show "Dominating the Area". Over to you, Schmeickers!
(dead air)
Sorry, over to you Herr Schmeichel,
PS: Thank you. This evening we are privileged to have quite near the studio, respected political analyst Another Kiwi
(CRASH)
Ah he is on the studio floor now, How now, Herr Kiwi?
AK: What is wrong with the doors in this place???
PS: Yes, ha     ha   it is the doors. What can you tell us about the election and the performance of the "Riddled" party?
AK: I have two words for you Minky, Cheese muffins! Inna bowl! I don't think that is a professional look for a radio station.
PS: Who is Minky?
AK: You
PS: My name is Peter.
AK: I could have sworn it was Michael, so I was making a joke hahahah.
PS: I have always been Peter. What about the election and your party?
AK: Well Peter, a week is a long time in politics and support can shift in that time.
PS: This newspaper article from the 21st of November says "We will wipe the floorr with them," Does floor have two "R's" I think not. And in that week your support halved from 8 to four, people that is.
AK: Well there were voting irregularities discovered in that week relating to  cats and dogs are not allowed to vote. Who knew? But I would say that the true believers in the "Riddled" party are the real winners on the night.
PS: How so
AK: Because they are, Peitro.
(dead air)
Sorry Peter.
PS:  Some of your more controversial policies, involving lifetime peerages, Christmas Ale and Miss Busty magazine, may have cost you votes?
AK: Focus groups found that particular policies were very popular with sections of the party, Peter and that maybe we should have made a better case for them, with people  about who would be getting those hard-earned rewards.
PS: So the voters did not understand, it was their failing?
AK: It is not easy communicating your vision to the masses Peter when it involves Miss Busty magazine, especially. But in terms of garnering election funding this campaign has been a great success.
PS: What an outrage! Your dreadful party should not receive any money from Soccer millionaire's taxes. This is not good.
AK: Don't try and stand in the way of democracy Pedro, you will come off second
(dead air)
(Scuffling)
Someone: Freedom and democracy, free...
(CRASH)
(Theme music plays out.)
Well another scintillating programme from "Both Ends of the Field" now we listen to a radio debate on the quality of Top 40 music. Earplugs are advised.

10 comments:

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

In the States, Herman Cain had some problems resulting from his position on Miss Busty magazine.

Protip- not to be displayed in the lobby of your lobbying organization.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Someone: Freedom and democracy, free...
(CRASH)


Was that the violence inherent in the system, A.K.?
~

Another Kiwi said...

Help, help I'm being repressed!

mikey said...

Eeek! Lobbyists!!

Where?

In the lobby!

Lobbyists in the lobby?? Oh dear. What should we do?

We should try to make them stay where they are!

How can we do that?

We can lobby them!

Lobby the Lobbyists to remain in the lobby? Brilliant. But who will do this?

With Lobbyists!! What we need is Lobbyists in the lobby to lobby the lobbyists in the lobby to remain in the lobby...

H. Rumbold, Master Barber said...

Miss Busty Magazine has some shot in her locker, if you know what I mean.

Substance McGravitas said...

Well there were voting irregularities discovered in that week relating to cats and dogs are not allowed to vote.

The "being able to understand ballots" difficulty should have occurred to you before that.

Another Kiwi said...

The "being able to understand ballots" difficulty should have occurred to you before that.
Um, this is New Zealand.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

mikey, if they do not stay in the lobby, you may need to take them away in the lorrey.

Another Kiwi said...

If they won't go, lob in a grenade.

Helmut Monotreme said...

if they survive the grenade the loblolly boys will hold them down while the Royal Navy surgeons operate.