Monday, November 14, 2011

The Typeface of Dorian Gray

What's this? An invitation from M__ University?* That is safe to open so --

Holy fuck it is Italic Papyrus. My soul has just died a little within me.**
Perhaps it is all a ghastly mistake and the message was meant for Vacuumslayer.

* Not Miskatonic.
** Or it would have done so, if it had not died long ago and calcified within me like a lithopedion homunculus or fetus in fetu.

20 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Muskrat U.?
~

vacuumslayer said...

This is slayer-bait from top to bottom.

First of all, that invitation is spectacularly ugly. Does it say "Come and sample our luscious wine and food?" No. It says "I had to throw together this invitation on the fly and Papyrus looked kinda interesting when I saw it displayed in Microsoft Word." Ugh. Awful. Just awful.

The text isn't even framed properly. Or did you crop it funny?

vacuumslayer said...

Why does w/v keep giving me real words? This one can only be described as "holy": "grail!"

Helmut Monotreme said...

I come for the typeface jokes, I stay for the unsettling and disturbing metaphors!

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Since it is at a winery, I presume you are going anyway, lack of soul notwithstanding.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Also, I am grateful that vs did not give me her unvarnished opinion of my invitations. I am sure that I committed grievous font-use errors.

My self-esteem would never have survived; it is on life support as it is.

Trevor said...

Since it is at a winery

Wharerata is, as any fule kno, the M***** University staff club. There should be no confusion: for one thing, the staff at a winery are generally sober.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Ah. I was confused by the large type saying "WINERY" prominently in the middle of the invitation.

See, this is why I always suck at writing things like this.

I often change my tone in the middle.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Wharerata

Gesundheit.

Trevor said...

Gesundheit

Yes, it does rather sound like that, doesn't it? And unless they've tarted the place up a bit since the last time I was there, looks a bit like it too.

Substance McGravitas said...

Thanks for introducing me to this ever-popular winery I have never heard of.

Another Kiwi said...

Wharerata has, indeed, been tarted up. The gardens are pretty good. Weingut Seifried does make some good plonk. I fondly remember an icewine that they used to put out.

Smut Clyde said...

Weingut Seifried

I approve of their policy of describing the results of over-consumption as part of the company's name.

vacuumslayer said...

Also, I am grateful that vs did not give me her unvarnished opinion of my invitations. I am sure that I committed grievous font-use errors.

I figured you had better things to do with your time than sweat the fonts/design of a party invite.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

You could have just smooshed my ego.

vacuumslayer said...

I am a nice person.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

It says "I had to throw together this invitation on the fly and Papyrus looked kinda interesting when I saw it displayed in Microsoft Word."

Someone must have thought it looked "sophistimicated"... someone with a complete ignorance of good graphic design.

Why does w/v keep giving me real words? This one can only be described as "holy": "grail!"

I got "cousin"- captcha has achieved sentience.

Another Kiwi said...

Someone must have thought it looked "sophistimicated".
Sir, you besmirch the aesthetics of New Zild universities??
The keepers of the largest collection of Soviet inspired architecture in the World?

truculentandunreliable said...

At least it's not Comic Sans?

Trevor said...

largest collection of Soviet inspired architecture in the World

Possibly the largest, but rather uninspired compared to such gems as the WTO offices in Geneva. Or our own municipal archives in Chambery.