Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Christmas Cards


Pirate Santa knows if you've been naughty or nice. Nice children receive rum, sodomy, and the lash, with the emphasis on the rum. Naughty children also get rum, sodomy, and the lash, but the emphasis is no longer on the rum.

Piece 8 in a series! Collect the set!

Last: Rosina Leckermaul! "To Serve Children..." it's a cookbook!
Next: The Doppelgänger Bread Man! Imagine running into yourself as a horrifying but delicious treat! You can't catch him, but if you ever meet who's to say who will find whom tastier?

Nota bene on the font: I was pushing for Logger and AK for Baptismal, but Smut INSISTED on this.

Oh, I forgot to mention milk and cookies are victuals only fit for lubbers and children. Pirate Santa expects rum and hardtack, and would not say no to a plate of limes for his eight scurvy reindeer.

18 comments:

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Don't even try Zombie Santa, unless you want an involuntary trepanning.

tigris said...

Zombie's in the Easter set.

vacuumslayer said...

Well, crap. I wish you'd made these earlier...before I sent out my dumb snowflake one.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

The challenge is combining zombies with snowflakes....tastefully.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I wish I had sent some of those, tigris. Awesome!
~

Smut Clyde said...

Zombie snowflakes.

I believe that tigris owes us several days of Advent calendar.

fish said...

I am holding out for the Knecht Ruprecht card. Beating children that refuse to pray.

Dragon-King Wangchuck said...

SRSLY? Okay, since all y'all are leaving teh obvious joke and I ain't to proud to pass on something so easy (as your moms will attest):

Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum!

P.S. Baptismal font. Hee hee.

tigris said...

twenty-two

Von said...

Pirate Santa is the best.
I'd happily settle on the naughty list for good for that one.

fish said...

I'd happily settle on the naughty list for good for that one.

Um.

Nevermind.

Smut Clyde said...

P.S. Baptismal font. Hee hee.

Go directly to hell. Do not pass God. Do not collect $200.

Substance McGravitas said...

Prepare to be Yulehauled.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Pirate Santa is the best.
I'd happily settle on the naughty list for good for that one.


Pirate Santa runs afoul of Rule 34.

El Manquécito said...

Wow, tigris does post here. I thought that was just wishful thinking on Smut's part.

M. Bouffant said...

eight scurvy reindeer

Why the Rudolph denial?

Smut Clyde said...

eight scurvy reindeer
Seven keelhauled mutineers...

Smut Clyde said...

...and a treasure map with X to mark the spot.