Saturday, December 10, 2011

The doors of his face, the lamp of his mouth, oops wrong orifice

It's that cheery time of year again when everyone flocks to Riddled searching for "worst advent calendar online". Perhaps they have mistaken us for the House of Substance, where the psychic wounds left by Mr McGravitas' special calendar with the Goatse-themed doorways have not yet entirely healed.

Speaking of wounds, you would not believe how much fuss patients make when they enter hospital near Mithrasmas for "a routine test" and wake up strapped to the bed with their torsos tattooed with lots of numbered doors.* Or so I hear from a friend.

Celebrations are more subdued at the Old Entomologist where Head barmaid Evangeline von Holsteren has a minimalist approach to decor. There is an Advent Calendar but we have been advised to "find the doors yourself, you shower of lazy no-hopers".

It helps to have some experience in Opening of the Way.

Right: The Lady Door can open things

There is ABSOLUTELY NO TRUTH in the rumour that the Wellington City Gallery is closed over December because the city's wealthy elite have hired it as a special Advent present for their families.
* Doorway tattoo FAIL.


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

So everyone's making merry at the fancy foot ball? What kind of beverages are you serving?

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...


Search Keywords

flying squirrel 25
lucky charms logo 11
tony the tiger 8
lt. john pike 6
images of a flying squirrel 4
frida kahlo cat 3


Smut Clyde said...

Now you know what your readers want.

tigris said...


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

You mean sugary cereal sprayed in their faces, S.C.?

Thundra's readers said...

Not in the face!!

Substance McGravitas said...

I stole that Bloch book and only once did I have a limb nipped off by an invisible demon. HA HA I WIN.

Smut Clyde said...

Sub McG should not gloat about the unfair advantage of his supernumerary appendages.

Another Kiwi said...

Smut plays the Unicorn variation, hmmm an interesting gambit. Not the Amber move.

M. Bouffant said...


Where's Heino's dog?

Rachel said...

...the knocker of _____________?

Smut Clyde said...

Please do not get us started on the subject of tattooed knockers, Rachel.