Saturday, December 10, 2011

Sasquatch, it's realer than you thought.

Cheeses! There we were discussing Ghost Deer, the beast of Bodmin Moor, Smut Clyde's wallet and other cryptids when Bunty Lhabcote shut the place down by vouchsafing a story that curdled the foam on the "Special Spiced Parsnip Scrumpy (99 44/100% badger-free)".
Bunty is a reliable  sort of cove, given to sending late night wireless messages to relatives in foreign countries but if he tells you a tale of such far-reaching conspiracy, you listen. After you stop banging the table and pointedly looking into your empty pint pot, of course.
The tale he told was one of scientific madness of which we would be only now reaping the whirlwind of in times to come. In short the creation of new forms of life and coupling them with an all persuasive gamimg system. Parents! hide your childrens video game consoles, you know where they spend all their time, 
First of all, the set up:
The mouse mutants of the hemimelia–luxate group... We generated, by a transgene insertion event, a new member of this group of mutants, Sasquatch (Ssq)
That's right people, mouse Sasquatchs which will even now be growing behind the Wainscotting and will soon venture forth to enquire "Oi, bit of cheese, down here, NOW!!"
I think that it will be a good deal more scary than this:
And what, as intelligent Riddled investigative associates, you might ask, has been associated with this Saquatchism?
The answer is shocking and revealing about the links between rodent gigantism and the video game industry.
These data strongly suggest that Ssq is caused by direct interference with the cis regulation of the Shh gene
 or as the Shh gene is more commonly known, the Sonic Hedgehog gene!!! Dramatic cords!!!

Wakes up people!!!

17 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

R.O.U.S.'s Isreal, people!
~

wiley said...

I don't believe any of this, least of all Special Spiced Parsnip Scrumpy. No no no no no no no.

ckc (not kc) said...

a transgene insertion event

...was it catered?

mikey said...

One has no option but to wonder if one could, given the right bandwidth and collection of L0ftcrack scripts, actually SSH into SHH.

'Cause that would be COOL...

W/V is not noted for her motivational exclamations: beless

Another Kiwi said...

It is always advisable not to eat the sammiches at these events, ckc(notkc).
Parsnip scrumpy is specially spiced, wiley.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

So you're saying S.C.'s wallet is alleged to have been seen?
~

Another Kiwi said...

There are stories Thunder, old stories from ancient times

wiley said...

Don't try to explain it, kiwi. I simply cannot accept it. I cannot live in a world with Special Spiced Parsnip Scrumpy. It is simply more than I can bare. Bear? Yeah. It's more than I can bear.

vacuumslayer said...

Of course the scrumpys are mostly badger-free--there's been a badger shortage ever since Pennis showed up at S,N.

Another Kiwi said...

Thunder may me look up R.O.U.S This will not be forgiven

Another Kiwi said...

or even mayed or maid or made

vacuumslayer said...

Kreariv speeling!

Substance McGravitas said...

If you build Bigfoot mice they will be unfulfilled without tiny UFOs.

Another Kiwi said...

The infiltration has begun

wiley said...

Sometimes "mystic" is just another word for someone who has a lot of psychotic episodes with mass hallucinations, like my poor Uncle George who, like so many psychotics of that time, thought the Beatles were sending him coded, personal messages through the transistor radio he kept glued to his ear.

Substance McGravitas said...

What kind of glue was involved? Asking for a friend.

Another Kiwi said...

I say "dramatic cords" and no one says anything?!?!
In my day, being a spelling Nazi meant something!!!