Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Look, look, master, here come two religious caterpillars

Dietary supplement for the iron-deficient:
[h/t Boing Boing]
Non-dietary supplement for the irony-deficient
Here is a statement from the quondam leader of a church whose foundational raison d'etre was to allow a state leader to redefine the concepts of 'marriage' and 'divorce':
The state does not 'own' the institution of marriage. Nor does the church. The honourable estate of matrimony precedes both the state and the church, and neither of these institutions have the right to redefine it in such a fundamental way.
Here is a dire warning from the quondam leader of a religion with a holy book consisting largely of polygamous genealogies:
If marriage is redefined once, what is to stop it being redefined to allow polygamy?
For extra LOLZ, both FAILED statements are from the same person. We also learn that "Throughout history and in virtually all human societies marriage has always been the union of a man and a woman", which is true for definitions of "woman" that include "female child".

We look forward to future pronouncements in which the ex-Archbish reminds us that the honourable estate of 'priest' precedes both the state and the church, and neither of these institutions have the right to redefine it in such a fundamental way as to include women.

12 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

In MY NEW RELIGION, marriage will be defined as an onion. Carrots and celery will be permitted in the ceremony. Perhaps peppers, if they behave themselves.
~

Substance McGravitas said...

One can only hope that the little boy will one day demonstrate such lust for his virgin wife.

wiley said...

I think the definition of marriage should change at random times to keep married people on their toes and to make it more of an interesting
challenge and less of an endurance contest.

Smut Clyde said...

Are we still married?

fish said...

I want heme in delicious liquid form. Rumors are untrue.

tigris said...

The honourable estate of matrimony precedes both the state and the church

This is proved by the marriages that still occur in the wild among our nearest primate relatives.

fish said...

The dowery consists of a stick used to eat termites and a fecking obelisk that keeps telling me to smash things with a jawbone.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Here is a statement from the quondam leader of a church whose foundational raison d'etre was to allow a state leader to redefine the concepts of 'marriage' and 'divorce':

Heh, indeed...

Never mind the English clergy
Their philosophy, religion or faith
For the foundation stone of their Temple
Was the bollocks of Henry the 8th.

mikey said...

Oh Kay.

This is cooler than dead lizards.

Quondam. Goddam.

When I read it thought it was an intentional mis-speeling of "Quantum", because, c'mon, they've gotta be pronounced pretty much the same, right?

So anyway, that was pretty funny, and I was thinking "yeah, ok, I can work with this whole "Quondam" mechanics thang, it'll be great, and the voices in my head will applaud my brilliance and stop telling me to burn the end tables.

But then I thought, waitadamnminutehere, these people are smart, and by that I mean they KNOW SHIT, and what if I'm getting it wrong and there's some other meaning for "quondam", right? So I pour that string into teh google and sure enough, it turns out to have english language meaning with latin roots and an eloquent usage from Bret Harte, fer fucks sake.

So the whole Quantum/Quondam miscue is right out, nothing but a dogs breakfast and we all know from Thudra that's just poop, but on the other hand I've learned the word Quondam, a perfectly acceptable substitute for "former" that will earn me much in the way of gravitas in the hallowed halls of tech companies full of developers and marketing geeks.

Or knot...

vacuumslayer said...

Haven't we been redefining marriage since marriage was a thing?

Smut Clyde said...

"Erstwhile" is good too, especially in Edward Gorey captions.

mikey said...

Yeah, sure, but shirley you see where "Erstwhile Mechanics" comes up short in like seven dimensions, right?