Saturday, February 11, 2012

What's that in the sky now ? Flying Teapots that can fly now

Traditionalists and Bilal fans will insist that Chessboxing is the only biathlon event sufficiently challenging and sufficiently familiar to be an Olympic sport. However, opinions differ:

Substance McGravitas said...
Potential biathlon pairings:
Camel-racing/tiddlywinks
Freestyle swim/pillow fight
Rowing/shotput
Ice dancing/hot-dog eating
Chessboxing
tigris said...
I nominate Substance to be the guy who picks which sports will be included in the Olympics.
Here at Riddled we are saddened by the lack of love for Free-form hot-air ballooning + Pictionary:



Of course the nations to beat at Free-form hot-air ballooning + Pictionary are the Belgians.


Note that the decision was not unanimous, with a minority judgement in favour of Nude Sheep-shearing + Wetsuit Morris Dancing.


UPDATED with bonus Pictionary hints:
(no Janusnodes were injured in the construction of this list)

103. The absence of ants is represented by a hieroglyph of origanum
104. A man at war with another is represented by a scorpion and an crocodile
110. A man dead from sunstroke is represented by a blind beetle
115. A man who has been cured by an oracle is represented by a pigeon holding a laurel leaf
117. A man without bile receiving it from another is represented by a pigeon with its hind parts erect
122. A woman giving suck and nursing her children well is represented by a bat with teeth and breasts
125. A king living in retirement and giving no pity to those at fault is represented by an eagle
130. A man reviled by denunciation and grown sick from it is represented by a basilisk
134. A man prevented from committing suicide is represented by a beaver
135. A man whose heir is a son whom he hates is represented by a monkey with a little monkey behind him
141. A man confronting fearlessly misfortunes which have come upon him is represented by the skin of a hyena
142. A man assailed by his enemies is represented by a wolf without the tip of his tail
144. A man whose anger is chastened by fire is represented by lions and torches
145. A man in fever cured by himself is represented by a lion devouring a monkey
148. A man who kills sheep and goats is represented by animals grazing
153. A strong man sensitive to what is expedient is represented by an elephant
157. A man who has prepared his own tomb is represented by an elephant burying his tusks
161. Foreknowledge of an abundant vintage is represented by an owl
163. A man guarding himself against the plots of his enemies is represented by a crane on watch
168. A man getting rid of his children because of poverty is represented by a pregnant hawk
169. A man who hesitates to move his feet is represented by a camel
170. A shameless man of keen sight is represented by a frog

I never realised how precise and standardised the game becomes at championship levels.

The Elephant hot-air balloon will look less wrinkly when it's finished inflating.

18 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I suppose "bowling and drinking beer" is a little too conventional?
~

Laura said...

How about fruit/veg crushing! I'm sure I'd bring home the gold for Canada! :)

((Hugs))
Laura

Substance McGravitas said...

I think the Belgians have been left behind.

WV: weestedi

mikey said...

Needs more backhoe...

wiley said...

Clouds would like to see mudkickboxing. He's a little bit colloquial. I want to see gymnastics and sword swallowing.

cliff wrestling bungie wrestling he's on a roll now

wiley said...

he adds "mine curling" top competition with bouncing betties

Smut Clyde said...

Clouds would like to see mudkickboxing.

The Dutch team is secretly training.

vacuumslayer said...

I want to see gymnastics and sword swallowing.

FGS, not at the same time!

OK, I'll play:

pillowsack racing/cupcake baking

Substance McGravitas said...

134. A man prevented from committing suicide is represented by a beaver

The symbol of LIFE.

wiley said...

Being represented by a beaver sounds like being put at a distinct disadvantage if you ask me. What's a beaver going to say in court that an ordinary lawyer can't say?

Smut Clyde said...

I want to see gymnastics and sword swallowing.
Paging Jennifer! Filthbot needed in aisle 7!

Smut Clyde said...

What's a beaver going to say in court that an ordinary lawyer can't say?

It can express a repressed facet of the lawyer's personality.
[Offer only open to Mel Gibson]

tigris said...

I want to see gymnastics and sword swallowing.
Paging Jennifer! Filthbot needed in aisle 7!


Rythmic gymnastics after dark.

Jennifer said...

Looks like you've got it covered.

tigris said...

OOH: synchronized filthbottery.

mikey said...

110. A man dead from sunstroke is represented by a blind beetle

Whereas a man dead from drowning is represented by a flatulent beetle

And a man dead from drone strikes is represented by various miscellaneous portions of a beetle

While a man killed in a drive by is represented by a beetle that looks like Tupac...

Smut Clyde said...

Now I find myself singing that list of "X is represented by Y" clues, to the tune of Bauhaus' "Hair of the Dog". Worrying.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Better than if you were singing it to the Nazareth version.